Update: AITA for being angry that my husband and his mother hid the fact that she gave her pension to a soothsayer and now expect me to financially support her?

In a quiet suburban home, where bills stack up like unopened letters, a 32-year-old woman’s trust crumbles under the weight of her husband’s secrets. First, his mother’s pension vanished to a scam, a bombshell he hid while expecting her to foot the bill. Now, a new betrayal surfaces: he covered his brother’s missed car payments, draining their finances behind her back. With a young son to protect, she draws a line, packing her bags and leaving chaos in her wake.

Her husband’s apologies ring hollow as he swipes groceries for his mother on his way “ out. Family ties fray, and Reddit roars with support. Was her exit a bold stand for self-preservation, or did she act too hastily? Readers, buckle up for a gripping update to a saga of deceit, loyalty, and the cost of keeping secrets.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITA for being furious that my husband and his mother hid that she lost her pension to a scam and now expect me to financially support her?

‘Update: AITA for being angry that my husband and his mother hid the fact that she gave her pension to a soothsayer and now expect me to financially support her?’

Remember my (32F) MIL (56F) who gave her pension to a soothsayer and quit her job? Yeah — it gets worse, I'm embarrassed and I honestly didn't want to update, but so many people reached out that I have to.. Disclaimer: I did not use AI this time so good luck reading this.

If you read my previous post about my MIL who handed over her pension to a soothsayer claiming to cleanse her of bad energies, quit her job, and left us scrambling to support her — you’ll know I was already nearing my limit with my husband’s (33M) family.. Well...

As I said in the comments that I needed to sort through my finances, because even though divorce was the unanimous answer Reddit gave me, I needed to know if financially it was possible. Backstory: I had a car I couldn’t trade in because of the shortfall.

My honest, loving husband suggested leasing it to his brother. I was wary, but he swore it would be fine. We signed a contract, payments came in on time for a while, I got my new car, life went on. At some point (before the pension thing), DH decided he wanted to take over the house finances.

And like a fool, I let him. I slowly watched groceries and bills stop adding up even when I knew i gave him my portion. But things always “worked themselves out,” so I didn’t question it — because in that house, asking questions meant I didn’t trust him.

And now — while reconciling my statements — I realize the car hasn’t had a single payment from his brother in months. The payments were from DH the whole time. And the car’s apparently been “broken” for two months. And guess who knew and never told me? Yup. Husband.

When I found out about the car situation, something in me just broke. Not in a dramatic, plate-smashing, screaming way. Just quietly. Like a balloon finally deflating. I didn’t argue. I didn’t cry. I just packed a bag for my son (8M), grabbed a few essentials, and went to my mother’s house for the night.

And before I left, I told my dear, sweet, loving husband he had the day to package his things. He’s now moved out. Gone to live with his mother and I’m back in my house. I’m not sure how or what to feel about. I don’t know if this was the right decision, if I’ll regret this, if we’ll ever sort this out.

I don’t know if this is me now — single mom in need of a lawyer.. I’m just numb. And maybe that’s okay for now.. Thank you to everyone who listened, aimed for the throat and don't pull their punches. Bonus info: He apologized for everything and said he will do better but I stood by the separation and I know I made the right decision because when he left he took some of my groceries because his mother ran out. He still doesn't get it.

Trust is the bedrock of marriage, but this story reveals what happens when it’s eroded by deceit. The woman, blindsided by her husband’s secrecy over his mother’s pension scam, faced another blow: he hid his brother’s missed car payments, jeopard of like how you’d secretly cover for a friend who keeps “forgetting” their wallet. Her decision to separate, taking her son to her mother’s, prioritized stability over a partnership fractured by lies.

His choice to conceal both issues—his mother’s scam and his brother’s default—reflects a pattern of prioritizing family loyalty over marital transparency. She, protecting her son’s future, acted decisively. A 2022 study in Journal of Family Issues found 55% of couples cite financial infidelity as a leading cause of separation (Journal of Family Issues).

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, states, “Honesty, even when uncomfortable, builds trust” (Gottman Institute). His secrecy breached that trust, justifying her exit. She should consult a lawyer to secure her finances and explore counseling to process the betrayal. Her resolve, though painful, safeguards her son’s future.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s crew dove into this financial fiasco with gusto, tossing out cheers and sharp-witted jabs like confetti at a divorce party. Imagine a heated town hall where everyone’s got a stake and no one’s holding back. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the online crowd, brimming with support for the woman and eye-rolls for her husband’s antics.

Glum_Computer1963 − My goodness! I’m sorry for your new grief but know it’s only temporary. Take one day at a time and breathe. 

madgeystardust − You made the right choice.. This man would have sacrificed your family’s (you and son) finances to enable his relatives.. Promising to do better when you’ve asked him to leave, and then taking you and kiddos food.. Yeah, no.

This farce of a marriage is over.. He’d set you all on fire to keep his mommy and his brother warm. I’m sorry you’ve had to discover this is who and how he is. Listen, how you feel now is only temporary, it WILL pass.

You and your son deserve better, and this man cannot provide that better. He’s a liar and will cheat the family he created with you so HIS relatives never have to experience consequences.. See a lawyer asap. You need to separate finances, everything. He’s a lying liability.

Available_Bag_6759 − Good! Don’t let him back in. He’s beyond redemption

OodlesofCanoodles − File, run a check on your finances at the 3 credit check companies, and rebuild. I wish I'd always used an app to communicate with my ex to make future custody battle cheaper.  So if you think there's any chance he's not going to communicate, ask for this in your initial court filing. Will save you money later

rigbysgirl13 − NTA. Lock down your credit! Check for loans he's taken out and not told you.

[Reddit User] − get that divorce. good riddance actually

Square-Minimum-6042 − This is the hard part. But you know you did the right thing for you and for your son. I'm glad he took the groceries just to put the cherry on the sundae! Thanks for updating, I am always glad to hear what happens next. You are very young (from my seventy YO view!) and you have time to build a beautiful life for yourself. Good luck.

CommandBackground469 − I hope you get all the help that you need, especially with the lawyer.

Ok_Resource_8530 − Please make sure he can't get into your bank account and freeze your credit. I can see credit cards because mom needed something and he had no money. Check your credit for loans out there too.

theworldisonfire8377 − Oof. That bonus info is just the cherry on top of the a**hole cake, isn’t it? “I swear I’ll do better”.. “Oh I took some of our food because my mooch of a mom ran out”. I’m sorry you’re going through all of this but you 100% did the right thing. Now with him and his family’s hands off your money, you can focus on getting back to normal.

These Redditors rallied hard, praising her for leaving a marriage riddled with lies and slamming her husband’s grocery grab as the final straw. Many urged locking down finances and seeking legal help, while others saw his actions as enabling his family’s chaos. But are these keyboard crusaders catching the full picture, or just fueling the fire? One thing’s clear—this tale of betrayal has the internet buzzing.

This saga of scams and secrets underscores that trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild. The woman’s choice to leave wasn’t just about money; it was about protecting her son and reclaiming control. Her husband’s lies, from pensions to car payments, showed where his loyalties lay. Have you faced financial betrayal in a relationship? Share your stories, advice, or hot takes below—let’s keep this convo rolling!

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