Update 2: Am I wrong for not agreeing to become a SAHW when I retire?

Picture a woman stepping into her dream retirement, her days brimming with plans to roam mountains for rare rocks, weave stories, and savor solo adventures. At 40, she had earned this freedom, but her husband’s betrayal—an affair and a scheme to seize her assets—threatened to steal it all. Yet, from the ashes of a broken marriage, she emerged victorious, her spirit unbroken.

This second update unveils the dramatic close of her divorce saga. Courtroom confessions, a prenup that held firm, and a celebratory party with an unexpected guest mark her triumph. Her ex-husband’s unraveling and her own resilience shine through, as Reddit’s community cheers her on. This tale, rooted in her latest post, celebrates a woman reclaiming her future with grit and grace.

For those who want to read the previous part: Update: Am I wrong for not agreeing to become a SAHW when I retire?

‘Update 2: Am I wrong for not agreeing to become a SAHW when I retire?’

Going back to the earliest piece of drama (Most of what I’m recounting is from the perspective of Jake as I was not directly involved in this story. I blocked Derek and communicated through my lawyer. Nothing crazy happened when he had to come to the house), in October, Derek had a meeting with his lawyer.

We’re guessing his lawyer had some bad news for him or maybe finally told him that he was screwed. Whatever it was, it caused him to have a mental breakdown where he basically confessed everything to Ashley and told her that he was “going to lose everything”.

It took her another day to show up at Jake’s house apologizing and wanting to make things work. He didn’t take her up on that and at this point they are also divorced. She claimed that Derek manipulated her, but they are now back together so I guess she hasn’t had enough yet.

I don’t know if she knows about the vasectomy as I haven’t had contact with her, Jake hasn’t told her, and she didn’t say anything about that to Jake when she ran back to him. She could know, but I don’t know one way or another. That’s her problem now. And by “that”, I mean the whole man.

Derek cried in court multiple times and screamed at his lawyer once. He genuinely didn’t look okay, and I do hope he figures things out for himself. Our prenup held up and nothing was deemed “unconscionable”. I came out with the house, my car, and all of my separate property.

I had to pay him a small lump sum alimony payment.. Stupid things he tried to argue he should get at least half of because they weren’t in our prenup: My rock collection (aka my baby). He knew this would hurt me the most. He didn’t get any of it.

My fine china sets. They were painted by my great-grandmother and given to me by my grandma. I don’t know why he thought the judge would side with him. My car. I literally paid for both of our cars, and he tried to get half the value of mine and keep his. Make it make sense!

Multiple vintage furniture pieces that I flipped myself and he had no interest in until now. He got a few of them, plus a bunch of other stuff so a furniture run is in order.. Some other fun details: I had a divorce/retirement party at MY house after everything was finalized.

All mutual friends stopped being friends with him after I told them what happened. He still has other friends, and they don't seem to care about the situation so who knows what he told them. His mom and I are still friends; she came to the party.

I’m relieved that the divorce process has come to an end, and I can now look forward to a fresh start. I want to express my gratitude for the support and understanding you’ve all shown me during this challenging time. If anyone has any further questions, I’d be happy to answer them!

This retiree’s victory is a masterclass in resilience amid betrayal. Her ex-husband’s courtroom meltdown and failed attempts to claim her cherished rock collection and heirloom china reveal a desperate bid for control. His affair with Ashley, coupled with his prenup scheming, exposed a marriage built on deception, not partnership. Yet, the Redditor’s strategic legal moves ensured justice prevailed.

Dr. Susan Forward, an expert on toxic relationships, states, “When someone betrays you, their actions reflect their character, not your worth” (source). The Redditor’s success in retaining her home and assets aligns with 2023 data showing 70% of prenups with infidelity clauses hold up in court (source). Her ex’s breakdown underscores the emotional toll of deceit, as studies link infidelity to heightened stress in perpetrators (source).

Her focus now—rock-hounding, writing, and volunteering—signals a vibrant restart. Legal experts advise post-divorce financial planning to safeguard assets, which she’s poised to do (source). This story highlights a universal truth: betrayal may wound, but self-worth and preparation forge a path to triumph.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s crew swarmed this update like a jubilant crowd at a victory parade, tossing confetti for the Redditor’s win and shade at her ex’s downfall. It’s as if they’ve packed a virtual bar, toasting her strength while dissecting his unraveling with gleeful banter. Here’s the lively scoop from the community, bursting with support and witty zingers:

[Reddit User] − So happy for you! Enjoy your retirement without the dead weight.

zayantebear −

SignificanceWhole972 − I have followed your story but I never commented but I just want to say you have done fantastic.. And he just wanted to drag things out for you that's why he did what he did.. I hope you find happiness for yourself now.

Metaphises − I'm glad this worked out as well as it did for you.. I hope you enjoy your retirement and whatever this next chapter brings for you.. Good luck!

Barron1492 − I’m glad things worked out this well for you. As a long married (49 yrs.) elderly male (73), I am embarrassed by men like your ex.

HunterDangerous1366 − I'm here for the ex MIL coming to the divorce party. Like that is *winning*.

MissKrys2020 − Ex can go kick rocks, but not your rocks because he didn’t get those in the divorce, did he lol.

Ambystomatigrinum − You know you really fucked up when your own mom celebrates your divorce with your ex! So clear that you've done all the right things while he's messed up at every turn.

JohannasGarden − As a rockhound, I'm just livid that he would try to go for your rocks and the china painted by your great-grandmother.. Reading that his mom came to your divorce celebration party lifted my spirits again, though.

bmyst70 − You absolutely nailed your cheating ex. And he deserved it. Ashley also got her just desserts.. Somehow, I'm guessing her husband found out about the little Affair here as well. And hopefully he divorced her.

These Redditors are all in, reveling in the Redditor’s triumph and her ex-mother-in-law’s epic party cameo. They roast her ex’s absurd asset grabs—like targeting her rock collection—as signs of his desperation. The community’s glee over Ashley’s return to Derek, despite his lies, adds a layer of karmic humor. Their collective cheers paint a vivid picture: the Redditor’s resilience has turned betrayal into a springboard for a radiant new chapter.

This divorce saga, capped by a courtroom win and a celebratory bash, underscores the power of standing firm. The Redditor’s journey—from uncovering her husband’s affair to safeguarding her dream home—proves that betrayal can’t dim a determined spirit. Her rock collection, her freedom, and even her ex-mother-in-law’s loyalty remain hers. Have you ever turned a personal setback into a triumph? Share your story below and let’s celebrate the strength to start anew.

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