AITA for asking a girl “what’s her highest level of education”?
Family gatherings can often be a melting pot of personalities, beliefs, and levels of general knowledge. While most attendees navigate these differences with grace, sometimes interactions can lead to friction and awkward moments. In a recent Reddit post, a woman recounted a tense exchange with her uncle’s new, much younger girlfriend at her father’s birthday party.
The girlfriend’s series of questionable statements and unsolicited advice about the poster’s fertility treatments led to a pointed question about her education, which ultimately resulted in the girlfriend leaving and a request for an apology from the poster’s father. The context of the conversation, the girlfriend’s prior comments, and the poster’s own feelings of irritation all play a role in determining whether she crossed a line in her interaction.
‘AITA for asking a girl “what’s her highest level of education”?’
Social interactions, especially within family settings, often require a degree of tact and consideration for others’ feelings. While curiosity is a natural human trait, the way we express it can significantly impact how our questions are received. In this scenario, the poster’s question about Jess’s education level, posed immediately after Jess offered unsolicited and scientifically inaccurate medical advice, is likely to be perceived as condescending, regardless of the poster’s stated intentions.
According to Dr. Peggy Post, an etiquette expert and author, “The key to polite conversation is to be genuinely interested in others and to ask questions that show respect for their experiences and knowledge.” While Jess’s comments were undoubtedly misinformed, directly questioning her education level in front of others could be seen as an attempt to publicly shame or demean her.
Unsolicited advice, particularly on sensitive topics like fertility, is generally considered impolite. Jess’s insistence that dietary changes could replace professional medical treatment was not only inaccurate but also potentially hurtful to the poster, who was undergoing hormonal therapy. In such a situation, it is understandable that the poster felt irritated and wanted to challenge Jess’s unfounded claims.
Given Jess’s background of an abusive upbringing, as mentioned by the poster’s father, it’s possible that she may have sensitivities around feeling judged or inadequate. While this doesn’t excuse her inaccurate statements, it provides context for why she might have reacted strongly to the education question. Ultimately, while Jess’s behavior was certainly questionable, the poster’s direct and somewhat pointed question likely escalated the situation unnecessarily.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
The Reddit community offered varied perspectives on the situation. Some users felt the poster was justified in her reaction given Jess’s outlandish statements and unsolicited medical advice, while others believed the question about education was inherently rude and condescending. The context of Jess’s potentially limited knowledge and the poster’s irritation were key factors in the different viewpoints. Here’s a glimpse of the Reddit reactions:
This Reddit post presents a classic dilemma of social etiquette and navigating awkward family dynamics. While Jess’s contributions to the conversation were undoubtedly bizarre and her medical advice was inappropriate, the poster’s decision to ask about her education level in response is a point of contention.
Was it a moment of understandable frustration or a genuinely rude and condescending act? How should one handle unsolicited and misinformed advice in social settings? And what role does someone’s background play in how their behavior is perceived and responded to?
