Today I ended things with the girl I want to marry?

In the span of two months, a spark of love ignited dreams of forever for a non-religious man in Utah, captivated by a Mormon woman who felt like his destined partner. Their connection seemed to transcend their differences, with her even willing to forgo a sacred Mormon temple marriage. But when she revealed her true stance—convert to her faith or lose her—their fairy tale faced a stark ultimatum.

Choosing his principles over his heart, he ended the relationship, only to be haunted by second thoughts about losing the woman he wanted to marry. Was his decision a courageous stand for authenticity, or did he let true love slip away? This story delves into the raw tension between love and identity, where a fleeting romance collides with lifelong beliefs.

‘Today I ended things with the girl I want to marry?’

I met this girl 2 months ago and I’m already in love with her. I’m doing things for her that I’d never thought I’d be open to. I live in Utah so she is Mormon and I’m non religious. When I brought this up she said she has never felt like this about anyone before so she was willing to look past that and sacrifice not getting married in the Mormon temple.

(For Mormons this is a big deal because it seals your marriage and it means you will be together for all eternity) Fast forward, she said she has been hiding her true feelings about be not being Mormon. Either I convert or things end.

I would never think I’d even consider converting to be with someone. Especially to a Mormon. I feel like I found the love of my life in her and she feels the same about me. I just feel I am making all the sacrifices for us to be together and she is getting her way. Does that matter? Does it have to be fair? Is it worth me doing all this to stay with her?

Part of me thinks f**k it, just convert for her and you don’t have to believe but if you want to be with her then do it. The other side is I’m changing myself to be with her and she’s not accepting me as I am or my views and opinion.. Ultimately, I ended things but I am having second thoughts. Did I make the right choice? Am I wrong?

This breakup cuts deeper than a simple parting—it’s a clash of core identities, with the man’s decision to walk away rooted in preserving his authentic self. Her ultimatum, though tied to her faith’s profound beliefs, placed an unfair burden on him to reshape his worldview after just two months. Love may feel all-consuming, but demanding such a fundamental change so early signals a lack of mutual acceptance.

Religious differences aren’t just personal preferences; they shape life’s biggest decisions, from raising children to community ties. The woman’s shift from flexibility to rigidity suggests deeper incompatibilities that could resurface later, especially in a faith as structured as Mormonism. Converting without belief, as he briefly considered, risks resentment and inauthenticity, eroding the relationship over time.

The man’s choice reflects a broader truth: sustainable love requires both partners to honor each other’s core values. Two months is too brief to overhaul one’s identity, and his instinct to protect his non-religious stance was a defense against future regret. The pain of loss is real, but it may have spared him a lifetime of compromise.

Moving forward, he should seek partners who align with or respect his secular perspective, using this heartbreak as a lesson in defining non-negotiables. Counseling could help him process the grief while reinforcing his self-worth.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit community largely supported the man’s decision to end the relationship, viewing the woman’s ultimatum as a red flag and emphasizing the importance of staying true to his non-religious identity. Many highlighted the risks of converting to Mormonism, citing its strict rules, financial demands like tithing, and intense social pressures, especially for someone without genuine belief.

AShatteredKing − You made the right choice. When someone gives you an ultimatum like that, the correct choice 99 out of 100 times is to end the relationship. Also, your morals don't align. I'm an atheist and my (ex) wife is a Christian.

While we both thought that it didn't matter because we loved each other and got along so wonderfully, when my 13 year old daughter came out as gay, it definitely did matter and ended our relationship immediately.

[Reddit User] − Things that will derail a marriage quick:. 1. s**ual compatibility. 2. household religion. 3. financial goals

ElephantNo3640 − Certainly you made the right choice. And financially, too, there are implications with being a member of the Mormon church. They’re not trivial, either.

needofanap − Flirt to convert is the Mormon way.

matchamagpie −

Teacher-uk − I'm so jaded that I see this as a way of getting you into the church! Seriously though, it's way too soon for a conversion. If it was that important I could understand converting to get married, but no sooner than that.. I think you did the right thing.

blackday44 − I grew up on the fringes of Mormonism. If she is of the 'You must convert or it's over' mindset, run. Run far and fast. It's a crazy as f**k cult.. I mean I love my Mormon family members but I shudder at the church and its crazyness.

Ambitious-Writer-825 − It's been 2 months. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're in the late teens -early 20s age group. There are many more women to fall in love with that won't make you change a fundamental part of yourself.

Your religious beliefs are certainly part of that.. Appropriate things a partner

stolenfires − You're not wrong. Mormonism has incredibly strict rules on what you're allowed to do, and lots of social pressure to be even stricter. It's a terrible religion to raise children in. Source: was raised Mormon.

[Reddit User] − No you're not wrong.

This two-month romance burned bright but crashed on the rocks of faith, leaving a man to question if he lost his soulmate or saved his soul. Choosing his non-religious identity over her demand to convert was a gut-wrenching call, but was it the right one, or did he let love slip through his fingers?

Should he hold firm or reach out to renegotiate? Share your thoughts—how would you navigate a love that demands you change who you are? Let’s unravel this emotional dilemma.

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