This 21-Year-Old Dropped Out of College to Support Her Boyfriend, Now Her Parents Are Offering Her a Way Out

We all know that moment when we want so badly to save someone we love that we end up losing ourselves in the process. For one 21-year-old college student, a desire to help her struggling boyfriend turned her entire life upside down, pulling her into a toxic relationship dynamic.

What started as paying for a few casual dinner dates quickly spiraled into sacrificing her own education, financial independence, and mental peace. She went from having her college tuition fully paid by her supportive family to dropping out, working grueling six-day weeks, and pawning her personal belongings just to pay the rent.

Despite her monumental sacrifices, she found herself trapped in a cycle of endless financial crises and constant criticism from a partner who preferred playing video games to holding down a job. This toxic dynamic left her feeling completely drained and unappreciated, wondering if her efforts would ever be enough.

Now, facing a critical crossroads and an incredibly generous offer from her concerned parents to rescue her, she is left wondering if leaving him is her only path to survival. She must choose between saving herself or sinking with him. Curious how it all unfolded? The full story is right below.

This 21-Year-Old Dropped Out of College to Support Her Boyfriend, Now Her Parents Are Offering Her a Way Out

WIBTAH for Moving Back Home and Leaving My BF?

We’ve all been there — wanting so desperately to believe that our generosity is a bridge to a better future, rather than a slide into dependency.

I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for a year and a half. I was in college when I met him, and he was a newly divorced dad of...

When we met, my parents were paying for my living and school, basically leaving me to just pay for my food outside of my school’s meal plan and my gas.

Because of this, I had a lot of money saved up, whereas my boyfriend was struggling hard financially, adjusting to paying for as much as he was without his ex-wife,...

I have never viewed something like paying for dates as a dealbreaker since I’m more focused on shared interests, values, and personality traits that work together. However, this slowly evolved...

He ended up borrowing $1,700 from me to help pay for rent, phone bills, and other things so that he could keep a roof over his and his daughter’s head....

I didn’t see it that way; I saw it as helping someone whom I care about because I was in the position to do so. At about six months into...

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His mom refused to help (there’s a lot of history there), and he was in a very dark place, fearing he would end up homeless. I decided to move in...

His mom was actually very helpful for a lot of the summer, I think mostly because she saw how much I was doing to help, and made sure I had...

In August of last year, we got the last bit of help from his mom, and I thought we would be set up for a while. He then started having...

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I told him that he should start looking for something else and I’d support his decision, but he went behind my back and quit. This was incredibly stressful because I...

Yet, I’d come home from work and the house would be a mess, or he would complain that I didn’t do enough around the house. Mind you, I worked six...

p>A classic pattern of over-functioning where one partner carries the entire weight of the household while the other retreats into passivity.

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I ended up having to pawn my things to make up for the fact that he wasn’t working. Nothing too crazy, but I did end up pawning a nice camera...

We were very lucky to secure another apartment before the eviction went through, but only with help from my parents who just felt so bad for me. Both of our...

Probably a month and a half or two months into working at my company, his panic attacks returned. He couldn’t get out of bed, and it was terrifying. Around this...

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He got a very large tax return that took us from April to now, but that money had to go to catching us up on rent, bills, and other essential...

Now, instead of complaining that I don’t do enough around the house, it’s complaining that I don’t care about the food I’m cooking and that I’m not good at cooking....

Between working and taking care of his daughter, this is the first day I’ve had since I started two months ago to rest.

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And yet, he still made me run him an errand 'since he was cleaning the house,' made me do the dishes 'so he can have a break from the dishes,'...

And yet, before I even sat down, he very rudely criticized how small I cut the chicken and said, 'No restaurant would serve this food. ' I told him, 'If...

' He only leaves the house now to pick up his daughter with me Saturday morning and to go to church on Sunday. He called me childish for shutting down...

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The agonizing weight of loving a child who isn’t yours often makes leaving an unhealthy environment feel like an impossible betrayal.

Here’s where I might be the AH. My mom and dad have offered for me to move back to my home state, fully paid for, to start over. They’re worried...

' Doing that would all but guarantee he’d be homeless, as he’s burned the bridge with basically all his family and would have nowhere to go, and there’s no way...

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I do still love him and I do have the desire to be with him when things are good, but I’m just building so much resentment and, honestly, regret. It...

Community Opinions

Reddit came in hot with a unanimous verdict, pleading with the young woman to pack her bags and accept her parents' lifeline.

u/Psytrancedude99 NTA - Take care of yourself. The fact that you had to pawn goods to try make things up is admirable. This guy is a disaster and will continue...

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u/Basic_KaleKitty9076 Leave him and never look back. This is not healthy. If he is not willing to get professional help and grow up, why are you even with him? Move...

u/Wise-Initiative9520
I am hoping this isn't real. If this is real, you know the answer. Run. And do not look back. 

u/HiddenWallflower13 Stop trying to be a savior to this man. For the love of yourself, take your parent’s offer and start over. You’d be an AH to yourself if you...

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u/RandomCoffeeThoughts
Take your parents very generous offer and don't look back.

u/Quicksilver1964 Girl, what are you doing. One year and a half and he ruined your college career, has left you in serious debt, pawning off your things to take care...

u/Haunting-Spite-3333 Oh girl. You are so young. Don’t lose yourself to this man. Leave. Go home. Your parents love you and know what is best for you Run away and...

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u/Extreme_Ad_6356
He is completely taking advantage of you! Please please go home with your parents and don’t throw away for future for someone who is a complete deadbeat.

u/RainbowSherbert-2035
You sound ridiculous talking about you want to be with him when things are good.
He used you.
He's a hobosexual.
Go home and get your life together.  

u/Regular_Emphasis6866 NTA. Take your parents' offer. He will never learn to do for himself if you are doing for him. His complaining and belittling is abusive. Go home. Sleep for...

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u/astrotekk
NTA.
Go home.
You are a purse, nanny and cook.
For what? You're too young to waste your life like this

u/Stock_Particular6525 NTA I apologize for sounding condescending but you are 21! You are like....new! Young! Whole life ahead of you to do as you please! Your boyfriend should be ashamed...

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u/BananaBoss28
No
Please go home.
This is probably why he is divorced.
There are men that will take care of you and not be a bum

u/Popular-Review5130
RUN!
If you stay, this is the rest of your life. It won’t  get better, and it will get worse.

u/ShannaraRose I'd say that listening to your parents would be a step toward being NTA - to yourself. You were being taken advantage of, and being treated very badly by...

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A few commenters also pointed out that her boyfriend’s behavior wasn't just lazy, but bordering on emotionally abusive.

Walking away from a relationship is never easy, especially when an innocent child is involved and your heart is heavily invested. On one hand, this young woman has poured her heart, soul, and hard-earned savings into trying to build a stable home.

On the other hand, continuing down this path threatens to permanently derail her own future, career, and mental well-being.

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Do you think she should take her parents’ generous offer to start over, or does she owe it to the relationship to try couples counseling first? And how would you handle the emotional toll of leaving a child you’ve grown to love like your own?

Drop your thoughts in the comments.

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