The guy (29m) I’m (25f) dating and his friends “gatekeeped” me about my hobbies and career, I’m feeling embarrassed.

Picture this: a night out at Hooters, wings sizzling, and a group of tech bros flexing their trivia skills like it’s a pop quiz showdown. That’s where our 25-year-old redditor found herself, three months into dating “Dan,” expecting a casual meet-the-crew dinner. Instead, she got a front-row seat to cringe city—complete with leering coworkers, a “prove you’re one of us” grilling, and a boyfriend who’d rather cheerlead than call timeout.

What started as a chance to bond over shared hobbies turned into a spotlight of awkwardness, leaving her feeling less like a date and more like a circus act. Now, Dan’s mad she didn’t grin through it, and she’s wondering if this is breakup territory. Was this a one-off flop, or a neon sign to ditch the dude? Let’s dig into this hot mess and sort it out.

‘ The guy (29m) I’m (25f) dating and his friends “gatekeeped” me about my hobbies and career, I’m feeling embarrassed.’

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

This dinner was a masterclass in missing the vibe. Dan’s choice of Hooters—over, say, a chill diner—set a tone that screamed “boys’ club,” not “welcome, girlfriend.” Then came the quiz gauntlet: his coworkers didn’t just gatekeep hobbies and tech; they turned her into a specimen on display. Dan? He played hype man instead of partner.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Support in social settings builds trust; dismissal erodes it” (The Relationship Cure, source). Dan flunked that test—his “you got this!” pep talks ignored her discomfort, prioritizing his buddies’ egos over her feelings. The “just joking” excuse? A flimsy shield for subtle misogyny. A 2022 Pew study found 41% of women in STEM face gender-based skepticism (source), and this crew brought that vibe to the table.

Advice? She should voice how it felt—like a show pony, not a partner—and see if Dan owns it. If he doubles down, that’s her cue to bounce. Readers, ever been grilled like this—how’d you handle it?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit didn’t hold back—here’s the juiciest takes:

“Dan’s a creep!” one shouted; “You deserve better than this circus,” another chimed. They’re Team Dump Him, with a side of “Hooters? Really?” Are they onto something, or just fanning the flames?

So, breakup or bust? This night peeled back Dan’s shiny veneer, revealing a guy who’d rather flex for his friends than back his girl. It’s not just about Hooters or the quizzes—it’s the gut punch of feeling unseen. Three months in, this could be a blip or a billboard. If he can’t see why she’s “grossed out,” she’s got every right to walk. What would you do—give him a redo or cut the cord? Drop your verdict below—let’s hash it out!

For those who want to read the sequel: UPDATE The guy (29m) I’m (25f) dating and his friends “gatekeeped” me about my hobbies and career, I’m feeling embarrassed.