The Boy I’ve Been Seeing Made Out With Someone in front of Me at His Birthday?

What runs through your mind when the person you’re seeing kisses someone else right in front of you at their own party? A 27-year-old woman arrives at her casual date’s birthday celebration feeling confident and excited. After a few weeks of fun outings, she watches him make out with another guest. Instead of anger, confusion hits first, prompting her to leave quietly.

Early dating often feels light and promising, full of mixed signals. Yet actions like this force quick clarity. One moment highlights mismatched expectations and respect levels, turning casual fun into a defining crossroads.

‘The Boy I’ve Been Seeing Made Out With Someone in front of Me at His Birthday?’

The early dates showed promise in an unusual way.

I (F27) have been dating Gabe (M27) for three weeks. (Fake Name) It’s been pretty casual and fun—nothing serious. For our first date, we went to a wrestling match and...

On our second date, we just had churros and chilled. We planned a fourth date, which was supposed to be a movie night, but his friend called and invited him...

Gabe asked if I wanted to join, and I said, “For sure.” I was excited, but he canceled last minute—just 30 minutes before. I totally understand that things happen, but...

The birthday party took an unexpected turn.

I was also invited to his birthday party, though I wasn’t sure what to expect. I decided to go for myself—I had just taken a huge test and wanted to...

When I got to the bar, I realized just how many people were there—at least 60. I’m more introverted, while Gabe is a total social butterfly. I only kind of...

Gabe would occasionally check in—he’d say hi when passing by, kiss me, or dance with me for a bit before leaving again.

As the party started winding down, I noticed Gabe dancing with a girl, which was fine—he had been dancing with people all night. But then, I looked over again and...

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I wasn’t even mad—I was just confused. I immediately thought, I have to go. So, I grabbed my jacket and started heading to my car.. As I was leaving, Gabe...

The incident exposes mismatched expectations in an early casual relationship. One partner views the connection as potentially special, attending events and feeling hurt by cancellations. The other treats it loosely, inviting her among dozens while openly kissing someone else, signaling low investment or different boundaries.

Emotional drivers include vulnerability versus avoidance. She invests effort and emotion quickly, seeking fun yet consistency. His actions—intermittent attention, cancellation, public make-out—suggest enjoyment of options without commitment. Confusion arises from mixed signals: kisses shared, yet no priority shown, leaving her questioning status.

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Relationship expert Dr. Amir Levine, co-author of Attached, explains that secure partners communicate needs clearly, while avoidant ones keep distance through inconsistent behavior. This pattern often emerges early, protecting independence at the cost of closeness.

Moving forward involves prioritizing self-respect over potential. End contact cleanly without lengthy explanations, blocking if needed to avoid games. Reflect on desired traits—like reliability and exclusivity cues—even in casual dating. Seek partners matching investment levels from the start. Journal red flags noticed to build awareness for healthier connections next time.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Social media users reacted with strong protective advice, urging the poster to walk away immediately. They labeled Gabe’s behavior as disrespectful, immature, and clear “fuckboy” tactics. Many emphasized deserving better treatment early on, viewing the public make-out and follow-up kiss as major red flags. Consensus focused on blocking and moving on quickly.

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Most commenters encouraged ending things decisively, highlighting his lack of respect.

Special_Slide_2257 − Sweetie, no. He made out with a random chick then immediately made out with you after? You deserve better than that.

Big_Tilde − So, he asked you to go somewhere with him and then canceled on you right before you were to meet up, made out with another chick in front...

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It seems as though he was quick to show you who he is and what you'd be dealing with if you decide to pursue a mess of a relationship with...

CaptainBeefy79 − You may not have declared any kind of exclusivity yet, but inviting you out for his birthday and then making out with someone else in front of you...

Melalemon − Ew, Gabe sucks and is old enough to do better. You deserve better than that, OP.

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This_Cauliflower1986 − You can do better. He was rude no matter how you define the dates.

bananahammerredoux − He’s a f__k boy. Block and move on. Eew.

Jackrabbits4ever − NTA, thank God he showed you his red flags before you created a deep bond. Three weeks is nothing. Better now than months down the line. This boy...

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If you're stupid enough to ignore the red flags, he'll know how easy you are to manipulate and gaslight. He's probably acting badly to see how much you'll put up...

[Reddit User] − If he wanted you as a girlfriend, he would have had you by his side and introduced you to everyone. He’s just gross.

Dear_Parsnip_6802 − You sound more invested in him than he is with you. He's shown you to your face that you are just one of many and nothing special. There's...

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Others pointed out the casual nature but still condemned the immaturity and games.

mr_oberts − “Boy” seems to be the operative word here.

TatyanaIvanshov − Let me tell you for him. *clears throat* I don't think I'm ready for a committed relationship right now, OP. Maybe we can still. .. have fun? *frat...

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LochNessMother − Oh dear. I’m not sure you were dating. You went on two dates and he cancelled the third. He invited you to his birthday,

but he invited everyone to his birthday. I think he had a very different idea of the situation. You need to find someone who fits your values and approach to...

ConstantThought6 − To be fair is doesn’t sound like you ever discussed being exclusive. At the same time though, gross, do you really want to be with someone that plays...

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theytriedtwotimes − Full on drama. When I was younger I wish I just walked out more & blocked. I wish you the same.

He’s shown you who he is, so you still like him? I mean if you want more wasted dramatics that are confusing stay on path I’m sure he’ll continue to...

A couple offered nuanced views on definitions while agreeing the behavior was off-putting.

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ScuzeRude − I mean. Firstly, you say you’ve been “dating,” but it sounds more like you’ve gone on a few dates. I think there’s a subtle but (clearly) very important...

Secondly, idc whether you’ve “gone on dates” or are “casually dating,” the idea of inviting a person to your birthday party whom you’ve (presumably) hooked up with and then hooking...

You don’t have to be attracted to him anymore, OP. It was a kinda cringey loss of self-control on his part and does not bode well for any kind of...

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Casual relationships deserve discretion and considerate behavior, too. It’s okay to be like: “I’m not mad at you, but I’m also not okay with that and don’t think we make...

This early encounter serves as a stark reminder that actions reveal priorities faster than words in new connections. Casual dating still warrants basic respect and consideration. Publicly kissing others while inviting someone signals disinterest in deeper pursuit.

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Recognizing red flags quickly protects emotional energy, allowing space for partners who match effort and values from the start. Would you confront someone after witnessing similar behavior, or simply walk away without explanation? How soon into dating do you expect mutual respect, even without exclusivity talks? When mixed signals appear early, do you clarify or cut ties?

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