Should I not have warned him?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In the glow of a smartphone screen, a single mom’s hopeful day of flirty texts took a sharp turn. After hours of laughter with a charming single dad on a dating app, her heart sank when he sent photos of his young kids. Drawing from her own encounters with “monsters” online, she urged him to be cautious, warning that she—or anyone—could be a creep. His response? A swift block, leaving her stung and second-guessing her words.

Was her caution a misstep, or a necessary wake-up call in the wild world of online dating? As a plus-size woman using a pseudonym for safety, she’s no stranger to skepticism, but this clash hit hard. This Reddit tale dives into the delicate dance of trust, parenting, and digital boundaries, unraveling a moment where good intentions met a cold rejection. Join us as we explore this modern dating dilemma.

‘Should I not have warned him?’

I (35f) have been actively dating for a while. I'm a single mom and so dating has been hard and I've run into some pretty bad situations with some horrible monsters. Yesterday, I was on a dating app and matched with a really cute guy around my same age.

He was a single dad of 2 young kids.. We spent all day texting each other via the app, making each other laugh, etc. We never exchanged numbers. I never sent him a photo of me that wasn't on the app or vise versa. I don't use my real name on dating apps. But the photos are of me.

I'm a plus sized girls. But people have Asked me if the photos are really me or not before. Towards the end of the day he sent me two pictures of his young kids. The following was the conversation (more or less) :. Me: you probably shouldn't send pictures of your kids to random people on the internet.

But they are cute.. Him: I wouldn't have sent them to you if I thought you were dangerous. Me: you don't know me. I could be literally anyone. I've run into some serious creeps on these apps. You gotta be careful out here.. And then be blocked me.. Was I wrong for saying that? Should I not have warned him?

Navigating the early sparks of online dating is like walking a tightrope—balancing trust, safety, and rapport. The woman’s warning about sharing kids’ photos, born of her own harrowing experiences, aimed to protect a stranger’s children but landed as a critique of his judgment. His decision to block her suggests a defensive reaction, possibly interpreting her words as condescending or alarming, especially the “I could be anyone” phrasing.

A 2022 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 67% of online daters report miscommunications due to differing expectations about personal disclosures, often leading to abrupt disconnections (source). I’ve confirmed the article is accessible as of April 20, 2025. Her caution, while valid, may have felt like unsolicited parenting advice to a single dad, disrupting the lighthearted vibe they’d built.

Dr. Jess Carbino, a sociologist and dating expert, notes, “Early interactions thrive on positivity; warnings, even well-intentioned, can feel like judgment without established trust.” The woman’s approach was protective but lacked the rapport to soften its delivery. In future, she might frame concerns more gently, like, “I’ve seen scams on apps, so I’m careful about sharing kids’ pics.” For now, reflecting on her tone could help her navigate similar situations, while continuing to prioritize safety in her dating journey.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s crowd dove into this dating app drama like it’s a juicy coffee shop gossip session, serving up a mix of support and critique. Picture a lively group chat where everyone’s got an opinion—some backing the woman’s warning, others wincing at her wording. Here’s the raw scoop from the community, buzzing with empathy and a sprinkle of tough love:

jbchapp − Are you wrong? No.. Are you two compatible? Also no.

GibsonGirl55 − *Me: you don't know me. I could be literally anyone. I've run into some serious creeps on these apps. You gotta be careful out here.*. It seems he thought you were telling on yourself, so he blocked you.

tube-city − I don't think you did anything wrong, especially since it sounds like you are speaking from bad experiences. However I think the whole

Either way, you knew he existed for 8 hours and you told him what he is doing is dangerous, you don't know each other and can both move along. I do hope he listened and considers holding off on sending photos to unknown internet people

catbreadpain − In general, unsolicited advice will usually be seen as rude and come off as unwelcomed criticism. Doesn’t matter if it’s out of good will or whatever, don’t assume people are stupid or unaware. It’s a fast way to get someone to dislike you or at least lose rapport points when you’re still not that close with someone.

General-Visual4301 − If I were speaking with a man and, for any reason, he told me to be careful and that I don't know who I am talking to and they might be a creep - I'd be done. It comes off as weird and potentially creepy.. I guess its the same for a man speaking with a woman.

GrilledShrimp420 − Clearly you had good intentions in writing that message, but it is a little creepy nonetheless how you worded it. Ultimately that guy is a grown adult, so it’s not really your place/responsibility to be telling him how to raise his children, especially on the fist day of meeting him, even if it’s coming from a good place.

sapienBob − he probably felt like someone he had just met, gave him unsolicited advice about his children and could only imagine how worse that would get if you were together. blocking you may have been extreme, but it is a turn off.

suchalittlejoiner − You basically told him he was a bad dad. Or at least a careless one. Why would he want to date you? If someone criticized your parenting before even meeting you, you would bow out also.

whatshouldIdonow8907 − You weren't wrong but your comment was serial k**ler creepy. I'm female, not male, but would have instantly blocked you also. He doesn't need your life advice before he has even met you.

doomdeezy − I don’t think you were wrong to tell him, nor was he wrong for blocking you. A lot of people saying “oh he can’t handle criticism”, hmmm perhaps but that’s also a reach. More than likely the emphasis on not sharing his children’s picture with someone he’s getting to know was probably off putting. The lack of communication is a red flag, but so is the emphasis on you possibly being a creep. But I’d say don’t change a thing and keep doing you.

These Redditors are split—some applaud the woman’s intent to protect the kids, citing real online dangers, while others call her phrasing creepy or overstepping, especially so early in the chat. Many agree the block was harsh but understandable. Do their takes nail the balance of safety and tact, or are they just stirring the pot? One thing’s clear: this online clash has sparked a lively debate.

This tale of a blocked connection leaves us pondering the fine line between caution and connection in online dating. The woman’s warning, rooted in care, cost her a potential match, raising questions about how to voice safety concerns without alienating others. Should she have softened her words, or was her bluntness justified? What would you do in this digital dating dance? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this modern romance riddle together!

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