requiring kids wear a life jacket in our pool?

Last summer’s laughter turned to panic when a three‑year‑old guest slipped under your pool’s surface unseen. Although you offered a life jacket, her parents refused—citing swim‑lesson philosophy—only for her brother to spot her just in time. Now, despite clear peril, they refuse again, insisting bright swimsuits suffice.

Drowning is the leading cause of injury‑related death for toddlers, and while supervision is vital, flotation devices add a crucial safety layer. On your property, setting rules isn’t about control—it’s about protecting little lives and safeguarding your family and home against tragedy.

‘requiring kids wear a life jacket in our pool?’

We (38f, 38m) own a large in-ground pool and love to host family pool parties with our young kids. Last summer, a close friend and her husband brought their two kids over to swim. Their youngest is 3 years old and is yet to have a swim lesson. We noticed they didn’t bring a life jacket and offered them one.

They responded that she didn’t need one, the swim instructor for their older child has stated kids learn better without life jackets. We hesitated, but this friend can get very defensive when you disagree with her and this was the first time anyone refused a life jacket. We also had another family at this party so there were a total of 6 kids there.

Throughout the party, their daughter is running around the pool and keeping to the deep end on the pool deck. My eyes are glued to this kid while the parents are glancing back and fourth as they talk with the other adults over on the shallow end of the pool deck.

Of course, the moment I look away to help my own child, their daughter falls in the pool and no one see’s it happen except her brother (6m) who quickly shouts to us. The parents rush over to her and she is floating face down. She was okay, but it was very upsetting and we all knew what would’ve happened if her brother wasn’t paying attention.

Fast forward to 3 weeks later and we host another pool party. Again, they show up with no life jackets and refuse the one we offer saying they bought their kids fluorescent green swimsuits and will be able to see them a mile away.

Their daughter continues to play over on the deep end of the pool deck and hang off our pool slide (the same exact place that she fell in last time.) We said that we were uncomfortable with her safety by the pool and they doubled down on their decision to not have her wear a life jacket.

So, I feel ridiculous asking- AITA for insisting their daughter wear a life jacket while she is in our pool? Or do they have a right as parents to control whether their child wears a life jacket or not? We are having a pool party soon and I need a plan for when this happens again.

Setting a clear requirement that every non‑swimming child wears a life jacket at your pool isn’t a personal vendetta—it’s a straightforward safety policy designed to protect young guests. By communicating this rule in advance and reinforcing it visibly at the poolside, you establish expectations that prioritize children’s well‑being above social discomfort. When hosts take responsibility for everyone’s safety, they reduce the risk of tragic accidents and make it easier for parents to relax and enjoy the gathering.

Life jackets serve as a vital backup when adult supervision momentarily shifts. Even attentive hosts can’t watch every splash simultaneously, and playful distractions are inevitable. A properly fitted flotation device keeps a child buoyant until help arrives, turning what could be a silent emergency into a manageable situation. In casual, unstructured play—unlike formal swim lessons—such added protection can be the difference between a close call and a catastrophe.

Contrary to the belief that life jackets hinder swim learning, early positive experiences with flotation support often boost a child’s water confidence. When children associate being in the water with both fun and security, they develop trust in their own abilities. This emotional comfort lays the groundwork for more effective, stress‑free swimming lessons later on, rather than delaying progress by insisting on unaided practice from the start.

Beyond safety considerations, enforcing a life‑jacket rule also addresses legal responsibility. As the property owner, you could face serious liability if a child is injured or drowns. Consistently applying your safety policy, backed by visible signage and polite but firm reminders, demonstrates due diligence. This not only shields you from potential lawsuits but also reinforces to all guests—friends and family alike—that their children’s protection is your highest priority.

Check out how the community responded:

Most commenters agreed: it’s your pool, your rules, and safety must come first. Many suggested adding a note on invitations that life jackets are required for non‑swimmers, or even citing a (fictional) insurance mandate to ensure compliance without direct conflict. True friends, they argued, will respect your efforts to keep all kids safe—even if it means sitting out once in a while.

FrauAmarylis − Stop inviting them. They will connect the dots.

ComfortableZebra2412 − Given the liability and guilt you have to deal with if anything happens, it should cause you to not allow kids near the pool without a life jacket period.

Frankly those parents are being extremely irresponsible, and unsafe. Swim abilities should be the only reason it's stops being required. Being demanding about it is a fair trade being safe

ProtozoaPatriot − Your pool. Your rules. At age 3, he needs to either be in a vest or in the parents arms the entire time he's in the pool. Those parents are clueless. They don't understand that kids have drowned at parties. A person drowning doesn't look like it does on TV. They don't scream for help.

And they can be underwater with lungs full of water in a split second. Next party put it on the invitation that flotation vests are required for all kids under the age of 10 while inside pool deck fence.

Lie and say you talked to your insurance company & they want it done. Having one of those

OJnGravy − These people are allowed to be awful parents. However, you don't have to allow them to be negligent around YOUR pool. You make the rules. Stick to your guns for your sake and the sake of this little girl. Someone needs to look out for her safety.. As a parent, I can't imagine allowing this scenario to happen once, let alone twice.

MNConcerto − Not wrong, your house, your pool, your rules.. They don't like it, they don't have to come over. I could never get over a child drowning in my pool and given their nonchalance about watching a 3 year old who can't swim.and has already had a close call you are not wrong to insist.. Check your liability insurance.

we_gon_ride − “My eyes are glued to this kid while the parents are glancing back and forth as they talk with the other adults…” This is not fair to you because as you said, you have your own kids to watch plus you’re hosting the party!!!. If your friends can’t comply with your rules, they need to stay home.

MaryAnne0601 − I’ve been reading your comments and the problem is you avoid confrontation. You don’t want to fight with the parents about the life jacket. You don’t want to exclude or not invite them for fear of causing issues in the friend group.

Are you willing to let a child die and be negligent in that death because you don’t want an argument? That’s really what the question is. You own a house with a pool. Ultimately it is your responsibility to set and maintain rules for safety. That is the bottom line.

sacsay1 − I have a friend who's six year old drowned in their pool. Had swimming lessons, etc. There was even a fireman paramedic at the party who started cpr immediately.

Kids may learn to swim better without a lifejacket ***in lessons***, but that doesn't mean that a child will fall into the deep end and start doing the butterfly over to the side. Idiots.

If they refuse again, tell them they are no longer invited. Print signs that say you require a signed and notarized document from a licensed swim instructor confirming that a child has sufficient skills to swim unsupported.

Have a lawyer draft a document that states they are willingly disregarding your advice, swimming at their own risk, and you have no responsibility for medical or funeral costs that may come from their decision and require they sign it.

Or get some pamphlets for those adorable, half-sized coffins, and hand them out to them while they ignore their kid. They come in all kinds of cute colors that their daughter would have totally loved!

[Reddit User] − If the kid get injured or dies in your pool you’ll be the liable one. Either life jacket or no pool and I’d really reconsider a friendship with someone who nearly let their kid drown due to stupidity.

Deebeejeebies − Lifeguard and Red Cross certified WSI (water safety instructor) here and the idea that wearing a life jacket will impede a child’s ability to learn how to swim in the future is absurd. Teaching kids to swim is mostly about teaching them to be comfortable in water and learn to trust the water to support them.

Life jackets help them gain comfort in the water. Sure when learning techniques we ditch the life jacket so it doesn’t get in the way but unless a non-swimmer child is actively in a lesson they should be in a jacket.

Know how to ruin a kid’s comfort in the water and ruin your chances of teaching them how to swim? Subject them to near drownings by not using appropriate safety equipment. These parents are wrong, dangerous, and idiotic.

You need to protect yourself from the liability of allowing a child to drown on your property. Either the kid jackets up or they don’t get invited. You’re lucky nothing more serious hasn’t happened.

Balancing hospitality and responsibility isn’t easy, but safeguarding children must be the priority. Insisting on life jackets for non‑swimmers is both reasonable and prudent on your property. Have you ever enforced safety rules that upset your guests? How did you handle their pushback—and what advice would you offer to this host? Share your experiences below.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *