Pregnant gf 23F wants me 26M to pay 2000 dollars for maternity pictures. How can I decline without sounding mean?

Imagine a young couple, seven months into a pregnancy, dreaming of their future while juggling a mountain of bills. The glow of impending parenthood is dimmed by a looming financial crunch, as a 26-year-old man stares at his bank account, already stretched thin by doctor visits and delivery costs. Then, his 23-year-old girlfriend drops a bombshell: she wants a $2,000 maternity photo shoot to celebrate her lifelong dream of motherhood. What’s meant to be a joyful moment feels like a budget-busting extravagance.

This Reddit saga, straight from the AITA trenches, captures a classic clash of love and money. The boyfriend’s wallet is screaming “no,” but his heart dreads hurting his partner’s feelings. How do you say “we can’t afford this” without dimming her pregnancy glow? Let’s unpack this financial fiasco, where dollars, dreams, and delicate conversations collide.

‘Pregnant gf 23F wants me 26M to pay 2000 dollars for maternity pictures. How can I decline without sounding mean?’

She is about 7 months pregnant. We are in the process of getting a house. So I am trying to keep as much money as I can. I also have been paying 500 dollars for her doctor visits per month, which totals about 2000 dollars. I am also gonna have to pay for the delivery, which after insurance will cost me close to 3000 dollars.

Plus, she will be staying home for a year, which I am fine with. So all the bills will be on me for the year. She even wants to stay home permanently, I don’t want that, especially since she has three pets which she literally treats like human kids costing hundreds of dollars per month. So I feel like it’s too much for me. I am getting o**rwhelmed. I make 120k per year.

And I already feel like I’ll barely survive with all the bills coming my way. In the past few weeks she has been bugging me for maternity pictures (800-2000) dollars. I don’t personally care about those pictures. But she is insisting that she wants them because she always wanted to be a mother. I feel like she is turning the pregnancy into a show off experience.. How can I address this situation?

Money talks in relationships can feel like walking a tightrope. This couple’s maternity photo dispute reveals a deeper issue: misaligned financial priorities. The girlfriend sees the shoot as a cherished milestone, while the boyfriend sees a budget breaker. Both perspectives are valid, but without open dialogue, resentment could outlast the photos.

Financial expert Ramit Sethi advises, “Couples must align on money values early, or small disagreements become big cracks” (I Will Teach You to Be Rich). Here, the boyfriend’s $120,000 income is stretched by pregnancy costs and future plans, while the girlfriend’s focus on non-essentials like pricey photos suggests a disconnect. A 2023 survey by NerdWallet found 35% of couples argue over unplanned expenses (NerdWallet), making this a common hurdle.

To bridge the gap, the boyfriend could create a clear budget spreadsheet, showing income, expenses, and savings goals. Propose a compromise: a skilled photographer for $300-$500, balancing her dream with their reality. Encourage her to contribute ideas, fostering teamwork.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s armchair advisors didn’t hold back, dishing out wit and wisdom on this pricey pickle. From spreadsheets to snark, their comments light up the financial fault lines. Here’s the scoop from the digital peanut gallery:

WildlyUninteresting − Time to reveal the financial magic.. Make a spreadsheet showing everything. Income, taxes, recurring and one time expenses, savings; retirement, etc. Child care costs. Pet care costs.. The impact of her income.. Lots to see and talk about together.

Alesisdrum − Looks like you missed a few key discussions before she got pregnant

JohannVII − 'She even wants to stay home permanently, I don’t want that'. This is the sort of thing that is NECESSARY to work out BEFORE having a kid. Too late for that now, of course, for you, but for anyone reading, sort all of the household logistics out before pregnancy. You need to have a financial discussion with your girlfriend where you lay out your household budget.

Maybe you need to stop the process of getting a house until your finances are more in order. I've been supporting two people on about $15k per year for the past three years, so I have to imagine two people and a kid is POSSIBLE even in more expensive areas than mine.

There should be some combination of expenses that is both withib your budget and allows you to survive comfortably. If she won't have the discussion or won't accept reality and insists on trying to spend more money than there is, breaking up is really all you can do.

UsuallyWrite2 − Why can’t she pay for any of this?. I think it’s reasonable to get some pics but she could do it for a lot less than 800. I hired a very good photog to do a family shoot with all the people, dogs, and horses on site at our farm for $200 and she was there two hours. Surely your GF could find something less expensive.

TacoStrong − Jesus Christ?! That’s some wedding level pricing! We paid $300 for a professional. Your gf is not living in reality dude. What did you do?

Hisworstkeptsecret − 20 bucks says you two won't be together in five years. Do what you want.You're an adult, but I would strongly suggest not buying a house with her.

paintedLady318 − 'Honey, we cant afford this.'. repeat. On a side note, don't buy a house with a girlfriend. Its either yours or hers. You guys need to seriously get on the same page with finances or this whole relationship is going to be history. She needs to understand that. Your future(s) depend on this being a team effort.

[Reddit User] − That's way too much for pictures. You can help her find a cheaper option. Please do sit her down and lay out the financials. This would have been a better conversation to have before pregnancy and moving forward with a home, you should always discuss finances before any of that. Does she think you're Mr. Beast? Does she even know how much everything costs?

Snowflake8552 − Offer to take the pictures for her lol but in all honesty you need to break the finances down to her. And tell her if she wants maternity photos she needs to find them for under X amount. The MOST I would pay is $350 (not including tip) she only needs like 3 good photos to share on social media. She isn’t Beyoncé… that’s more than enough.

Appeltaart232 − Both of us work and make a decent amount (we’re late 30s/early 40s). During my last trimester we were in the process of buying a house/moving and preparing for baby, so never got round to getting a maternity shoot (which in the Netherlands where we live would be something like 500 euros). We were stressed out and paying a s**t ton of money for things.

Months after baby girl was born I went through my partner’s camera gallery and he had such sweet, intimate and amazing photos of me and the belly. I don’t think anyone else could have recreated that. I don’t regret not having an official shoot one bit. Having said that, I never cared about uploading anything to instagram, which might be where your GF is at.

Maybe look at some cheaper options if she’s really insistent and as others have suggested go through the overall financials. If she’s going to be having a child she absolutely has to start prioritizing expenses and not relying on the fact you will be busting your ass to provide. If she really wants certain non-necessities she can make some money herself or ask her family to pay.

These Reddit roasts are spicy, but do they cut to the core of this couple’s cash conundrum? Or are they just tossing pennies at a bigger problem?

This tale of maternity photos and money woes shows how quickly dreams can clash with dollars. The boyfriend’s stress is palpable, caught between love and ledger, while his girlfriend’s vision of motherhood deserves a nod. A candid budget chat could turn this tiff into a team effort, saving their finances and their future.

How would you navigate a partner’s pricey request when bills are piling up? Drop your tips or tales in the comments—let’s sort out this cash-versus-camera clash!

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