Please tell me if I’m making the right decision or not. I (28F) packed up some of my stuff and moved back to my parents house impulsively after a huge argument with my (29M) Fiance. Does this relationship sound salvageable?

In a cramped apartment buzzing with dreams of a shared future, a single argument shattered the illusion of harmony. A young woman, eager to celebrate her impending marriage, faced her fiancé’s rage when she suggested a modest trip or even a bouquet to mark the occasion. His screams of “f**k off” and demands to “get out of my face” echoed through their home, driving her to pack her bags and flee to her parents’ house. Now, with an engagement ring heavy on her finger, she questions if she’s made the right move.

This isn’t the first time his temper has flared—past outbursts, like cursing her over a forgotten birthday, hint at a deeper issue. As she wrestles with guilt and heartbreak, the specter of a broken engagement looms. Can this relationship be salvaged, or is her departure a step toward freedom? Reddit’s voices chime in with fierce clarity, urging her to see the truth behind the chaos.

‘Please tell me if I’m making the right decision or not. I (28F) packed up some of my stuff and moved back to my parents house impulsively after a huge argument with my (29M) Fiance. Does this relationship sound salvageable?’

We've been together for 3 years, living together for 2.5. We had gotten into a huge argument that blew up. He was stressing out about the housing crisis, telling me that we NEED to buy a house ASAP because he predicts interest rates will keep rising. I told him I agreed, however, I would like to be married before buying a house with someone.

He said we can't afford a wedding plus a house right now, and asked me to pick one or the other: a wedding or a house. It was pretty obvious which choice he wanted. I made a compromise with him that I at least wanted to be married on paper before we bought a house together, and he ended up agreeing with this.

He also said that after the house, when we are more financially stable, we can have a wedding then, which I was fine with. The next day, I had a change of heart and asked him if it would be willing to go on a celebratory trip together after signing our marriage papers, as a way to celebrate our marriage, without a wedding.

I don't know why, but this set him off and he started ranting about how weddings are a waste of money, that it's just 'pissing money away' and how stupid weddings are. I had to ask him multiple times to please stop ranting, that I got his point. The next day, we got into it again, but this time it fully blew up.

I asked him again if he was willing to go on a less expensive trip with me, again to celebrate our marriage after signing papers. (Note that he would only be covering his portion, I would pay for myself). I suggested a short road trip a small town near where we live.

Again this triggered him and he got very angry to the point where we started raising our voices at each other. Each time I felt like he didn't want to spend any money to celebrate our marriage with me, I tried to compromise with him and lowered the stakes.

It ended with me saying something along the lines of 'I just want to do SOMETHING beyond just signing a few papers. We could go out for a nice dinner, or even if you bought me flowers, I'd be happy with that.' Again, I don't know why, but this made him very angry and he said things like, 'As if I never take you out for dinners and buy you flowers.'

At this point I was so frustrated that I said, 'I'm asking you for CRUMBS and you can't give that to me. I just want the gesture that you care about celebrating our marriage.' This blew up in my face because after I said that, we started yelling at each other,

and he said things like 'I'm making the financially smart decision to buy a house and secure a decent future for our children one day, and you don't trust my decisions.' To which I replied, 'what family? you don't have any kids yet. we should focus on making our relationship work right now.'

He ended it by saying 'F\*ck off' and then screaming 'GET OUT OF MY FACE' three times because I was so stunned that I didn't move the first time he said it. I want to add that I try very hard to never yell insults, curse, or negatively label him when we argue. I believe the purpose of an argument is to try to understand each other's POV.

The worst thing I'll do is raise my voice. After he screamed in my face, I left the house and went to my girlfriend's. Then I saw a text from him telling me that I may as well 'pawn the engagement ring' because he won't tolerate this level of disrespect of me leaving the house without a word of where I'm going. (BUT HE DIDN'T ASK.)

This is not the first time something like this has happened, a few months ago I expressed to him that I was upset he had nothing planned for my birthday, and again, he blew up in my face and called me an effing p**cho and said verbatim, 'I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THEN F**K OFF.'

I ended up leaving the house again that night and sleeping over at my friends house. We ended up making up and he apologized profusely and did end up planning something for my birthday. We just talked this morning and he's extremely hurt that I moved my stuff out and slept at my parents house last night.

We're not officially broken up yet, but I have a feeling that's where this is headed, because of me. And he said he's not willing to do therapy because he thinks it's a waste of time. Did I do the right thing? Was this relationship salvageable? I'd appreciate hearing any stories that are similar to mine.

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

This explosive argument is a glaring red flag, illuminating a pattern of emotional volatility that threatens the relationship’s foundation. The fiancé’s rage over modest requests—like a dinner or flowers to celebrate their marriage—reveals a troubling lack of respect. His verbal assaults, from screaming profanities to past insults like “p**cho,” cross into emotional abuse, eroding trust. Her impulsive exit wasn’t just a reaction; it was a cry for self-preservation.

Emotional abuse is insidious. The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that 1 in 4 women experience emotional abuse, often through yelling or belittling. Dr. John Gottman, in a Psychology Today article, notes, “Contempt and verbal aggression predict relationship failure.” The fiancé’s refusal to consider therapy further dims hope for change.

This reflects broader issues of mutual respect in partnerships. “Healthy relationships thrive on compromise and kindness,” says therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner in a Psychology Today piece. Her compromises—scaling down from a trip to flowers—were met with hostility, signaling his priorities lie in control, not partnership. She should prioritize her safety, perhaps staying with family while seeking individual therapy, even if free via community resources. If he won’t change, she may need to end it.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew rolled in like a storm, unloading a torrent of support and blunt warnings. It’s like a virtual intervention where everyone’s got a megaphone and zero chill. Here’s the raw pulse of the crowd:

ember428 − Nope. Not salvageable. Be happy you dodged this particular heartbreaking bullet because being married to him would mean this type of 'conversation' all the flipping time.

ash-leg2 − 'I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THEN F**K OFF.'. Please listen to him. You did the right thing, the relationship is not salvageable.

anon28374691 − Why would you want it to be salvageable? This guy has HUGE anger problems. Your life would be hell with him.

User564368 − ruthless jobless depend narrow hungry caption numerous wasteful far-flung sand. *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with 

woman_thorned − He hates you.. Take the part of yourself that realizes this, on a nice solo vacation or out to a nice dinner.

hygenius − I have been married for 45 years, and the number of times my husband has screamed at me is zero. You deserve a man who respects you, and is kind to you. It is difficult to think of leaving a relationship because you think to yourself 'It's not that bad'.

But it really, really is. Once you are out of the relationship, and over the initial emotions, you will realize that life is better without an emotionally abusive jerk. I wish all the best for you.

jimmyb1982 − You made the right decision. Now, don't make the wrong decision and get back together with him.. UpdateMe

kdawg09 − Your (hopefully ex) fiance is a controlling abuser. Yelling, calling names and telling you to f**k off is abusive. Refusing to care about your birthday or your marriage day shows lack of respect or love. Some other serious red flags:. you don't trust my decisions.' Um shouldn't all decisions for your relationship and your family be mutual and not just his for you to respect?

Sounds to me like a man who wants to control all the things and wants you to just agree to it. 'pawn the engagement ring' because he won't tolerate this level of disrespect of me leaving the house without a word of where I'm going. Uh holding the relationship over your head is emotionally blackmail. Also trying to control where you go and when seems ick. He's the one that told you to go.

aliveinjoburg2 − Here’s how to navigate this breakup properly: when you feel like you miss him, read this post. Hell, read it twice. Think about you asking for crumbs to celebrate a wedding, and him getting furious about this, to the point where he tells you to f**k off.

And then, I want you to think about how you did just that. You fucked off. You don’t need this. You’ll be ok, get some therapy, live by yourself (if you can) for at least a year and enjoy some independence and freedom from being your own woman. When the right person comes along, you’ll be ready.

rainyhawk − Short answer…you’re making the right decision by leaving him and moving on.

These Redditors didn’t sugarcoat it, branding the fiancé’s behavior as abusive and urging the woman to stay gone. Some saw no path to salvage, while others emphasized her strength in leaving. Do their harsh verdicts capture the full story, or are they too quick to condemn? One thing’s clear: this blowout has ignited a fierce debate about love and respect.

This tale of a shattered engagement reveals how quickly love can sour under anger’s weight. The woman’s flight to her parents’ house wasn’t just impulsive—it was a stand for her dignity. Her fiancé’s refusal to celebrate their bond or seek help casts a long shadow over their future. As she weighs her next steps, the question lingers: when does a relationship become unsalvageable? Share your stories or advice in the comments. How would you navigate a partner’s rage over your needs?

For those who want to read the sequel: [Update] Please tell me if I’m making the right decision or not. I (28F) packed up some of my stuff and moved back to my parents house impulsively after a huge argument with my (29M) Fiance. Does this relationship sound salvageable?

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