Parent Stands Firm: No Flu Shot, No Newborn Visits

The arrival of a newborn is a momentous occasion, often marked by eager anticipation from family members, especially grandparents. However, when differing beliefs about health and safety come into play, joy can quickly turn into conflict. Our protagonist, a new parent reflecting on a past experience with their first child and anticipating a similar situation with their second, found themselves in a heated standoff with their own parents over a seemingly simple request: getting vaccinated to protect the vulnerable newborn.

The doctors had clearly advised that anyone in close contact with the baby should have the TDAP (whooping cough) shot and the yearly flu shot. For the first grandchild, this felt like a reasonable and necessary precaution to our protagonist, whom we’ll call Alex. However, Alex’s parents, deeply entrenched in politically motivated skepticism following recent global events, vehemently refused the flu shot. This refusal ignited a family feud, with Alex standing firm on their decision to protect their child, even if it meant limiting contact with the grandparents.

‘My parents refuse to get Flu-Shots as requested to be around our newborn?’

This is actually past tense for our first child, but we will have a second child coming soon and may have the same scenario happen again... Our Doctors said that anyone in close-contact with our newborn baby must have the TDAP (whooping cough) shot and the yearly flu-shot. I didn't think it was too much to ask for the first grandkid.

But my family has been very politically motivated after Trump / COVID etc. and refuse to get the flu-shot. It got pretty heated because I got angry that their c**spiracy theories have gone too far. I'm mostly conservative, but get irritated by people who worship Trump and act like the COVID shot is pure poison.

I told them

Like, how important are we to you? Not very? I asked for a valid reason for not getting the flu shot, and they couldn't give me one. They made up stuff like they know people who have died from the flu shot, or they're scared,

We missed several family Birthdays, thanksgiving, the first Christmas, Easter etc. and they saw her in March. The drama is past and it's not talked about now, but with the 2nd child coming up, I wanted some insight... I feel like I did the right thing, but I'm also stern and have a short-fuse, get carried away. More so than normal with this.. So AITAH?. 

Protecting a newborn’s health is a paramount concern for new parents. Infants have underdeveloped immune systems, making them particularly vulnerable to infections like influenza and whooping cough, which can be life-threatening.

Medical professionals overwhelmingly recommend that individuals in close contact with newborns receive vaccinations to create a protective barrier around the baby, a concept known as herd immunity. When family members refuse these recommendations based on misinformation or personal beliefs, it creates a challenging situation for parents trying to prioritize their child’s well-being.

Alex’s decision to insist on vaccinations aligns with medical advice and the responsibility to safeguard their newborn from preventable illnesses. The parents’ refusal, based on “conspiracy theories” and unfounded fears, demonstrates a disconnect between their beliefs and the scientific consensus on vaccine safety and efficacy.

Their inability to provide a valid medical reason for their refusal further underscores the influence of misinformation on their decision-making. In such cases, parents are often faced with the difficult choice of upholding medical recommendations for their child’s safety or accommodating the wishes of family members who hold opposing views.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), “Vaccination is one of the most effective ways to protect infants, children, and adults from vaccine-preventable diseases.” The AAP strongly recommends that all adults who will have close contact with an infant younger than 12 months of age receive a dose of Tdap vaccine to protect against pertussis (whooping cough) and an annual influenza vaccine. These recommendations are based on extensive scientific research and aim to minimize the risk of serious illness in vulnerable newborns.

Alex’s firm stance, while labeled as “harsh” by their parents, reflects a commitment to their child’s health and safety. Their frustration at their parents prioritizing unsubstantiated beliefs over seeing their grandchild is understandable. While navigating family relationships with differing beliefs can be delicate, the health and well-being of a newborn must take precedence.

Setting clear boundaries, even if it leads to temporary separation, is a valid and responsible action when protecting a vulnerable infant from potential harm. Open communication, ideally involving factual information from trusted medical sources, might help bridge the gap in understanding, but ultimately, the parents’ decision to prioritize their child’s health is paramount.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Alright, buckle up, because the Reddit jury has delivered a resounding verdict, and let’s just say Alex’s parents might need to rethink their stance if they want to cuddle that new grandbaby. The online consensus is overwhelmingly in Alex’s corner, with many commenters applauding their firm stance and emphasizing the importance of protecting a newborn’s fragile health.

From labeling the parents’ refusal as “bone-stupid ignorance” to sharing personal stories of the devastating consequences of vaccine-preventable diseases, the Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back in their support for Alex’s decision. It seems like the internet collectively gave a virtual high-five to Alex for prioritizing their child’s well-being over their parents’ unfounded fears. Let’s dive into the digital discourse and see what strong opinions the Reddit crowd offered.

rjhancock − Doctors orders. If they don't follow them, they don't get access. Simple as that.. NTA.

Easy-Tip-7860 − NTA. I just got vaccinated for everything including Covid and flu boosters I might not otherwise have chosen to get, and paid out of pocket for Ab testing to ensure I didn’t need to get a MMR booster. Why? Because the parents of my soon to be born grandchild asked us to do this based on the advice of their doctor. I don’t love how I feel for 24-48 hours after having vaccines (my immune system responds.) Small price to pay to hold that beautiful baby!

IDMike2008 − NTA. Protect your baby. Maybe play your folks some videos of babies with whooping cough if they continue to have a hissy fit.

ThaneOfCawdorrr − NTA. This isn't

SerenityPickles − NTA (in your best soup nazi voice tell them). No baby for you!. Gramma and Grandpa it’s your house your rules. My house my rules. Luv ya

FirebirdWriter − I am a child of assholes who did not vaccinate themselves or me. Well mother got vaccinated when I was a teenager for her chronic pneumonia but she wouldn't do that for her children ever..I didn't die but I had measels, mumps, and Rubella. My older sister nearly died from whooping cough.

I am disabled and immunocompromised as a result. This includes my blindness. My sister has asthma she won't get treated as far as my latest information Do not compromise. If they are so upset they can get vaccinated. If not? Why stop being firm at 6 months? The kid is still vulnerable

SpencerVerde − NTA. Measles had gone away, too, until folks stopped getting their kids vaccinated. It’s crazy.. Did they get the whooping cough shot but refuse the flu vaccine?

ThisIsMyCircus40 − Well… I missed my last Christmas with my mother while she was alive bc her sister was hosting Christmas and they were all sick. To them, Trump is equivalent to god, vaccines are poison and covid wasn’t real. My mother went bc my grandma was going and she said “I don’t know how many more christmases I have with grandma bc she’s almost 80”.

Ironically that was the last one bc my other died 4 months later from cancer. We didn’t go bc my aunt and uncle refused to get tested for covid or flu. We have had both flu and covid WITH AND WITHOUT vaccines. I will never miss a yearly flu or covid vaccine again. The one year I didn’t get the flu vax, I thought for sure I was dying.

The body pain was SO BAD… I couldn’t move for 2 weeks. My husband had his vax that year and he ran a low grade for 2 days and needed a few extra hours of a sleep. The same thing happened with Covid. It took him FOUR MONTHS to recover fully from covid, but I had my vaccine and was just tired, slightly feverish, and coughing for about 5 days.. KEEP YOUR BABY SAFE.

GodsGirl64 − You are absolutely NTA. I am allergic to both flu shots and Covid shots (I’m allergic to everything 🙄) and was doing cancer treatment during Covid and working full time. This meant I was at high risk of getting and carrying illness. I had a friend who had a baby during this time and told her I very much wanted to see him but would have to do pictures and videos until he was older. I would NEVER even think of putting a baby at risk because of my allergies to the shots. Your family was way out of line and your reaction was spot on.

dogtroep − NTA. I’m a doctor who’s seen so much flu. Thousands of people die from it every year (my husband was one). It can be deadly for babies. There is no excuse for not being safe, unless you have a true serious allergy to the flu shot.. It’s not about your parents’ feefees. It’s about your baby’s *life*.

These are popular opinions on Reddit, and they strongly support the decision to prioritize a newborn’s health by requiring vaccinations. The commenters highlight the dangers of vaccine-preventable diseases for infants and emphasize that this is a matter of health and safety, not personal opinion or political belief. The overwhelming support for Alex’s firm stance underscores the importance of evidence-based decision-making when it comes to protecting vulnerable individuals.

Alex’s situation highlights the challenging conflict that can arise when personal beliefs clash with medical recommendations, especially concerning the health of a newborn. While respecting family members’ opinions is important, the safety and well-being of a vulnerable infant must take precedence. Alex’s decision to set firm boundaries regarding vaccinations, although met with resistance, was a responsible action based on medical advice.

As Alex anticipates the arrival of their second child, the question remains: how can families navigate such sensitive health decisions while respecting individual beliefs? Should medical recommendations always override personal opinions when it comes to protecting newborns? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below.

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