Not naming my first born son after me.

A 33-year-old father of three just shattered a family tradition that dates back to the 1800s, and the fallout has been epic. His dad had drilled it into him since childhood: the firstborn son must carry the same name, sealed with a signature in an antique family bible. But this guy never vibed with his father, and the idea of turning every holiday into a roll-call nightmare felt absurd. So he and his wife picked a fresh name for their baby boy.

Cue the dramatic silence—invites stopped, phones went cold, and the entire clan basically excommunicated them over a name. The internet exploded with opinions on whether he’s the villain or the hero of his own story.

‘Not naming my first born son after me.’

The saga kicks off with a centuries-old expectation that’s practically carved in stone—or at least inked in faded scripture.

I (M33) have three children with my wife. Since as early as I can remember, my father has told me that “I needed to name my first born son “NAME””.

We also have a “family bible” that goes back to the 1800’s in which each father has named their first born son after themselves and singed this bible.

Personal feelings and practical headaches collided in one decisive moment.

I never got along with my Father, personally, i don’t believe he is a good father nor is he a good person. I didn’t not name my son after me/him...

Personally, it felt selfish to name my first born son after myself and it’s a little ridiculous during family events when several people all have the same name.

Long story short, I did not name my first born son after me and my whole family has pretty much stopped talking to my wife and I.

We are no longer invited to holidays and it feels like we have been kicked out of the family for a decision my wife and I made.. Curious if I...

A quick edit shows the flood of support that rolled in.

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Edit: I appreciate everyone’s responses, thank you.

Centuries-old naming rituals sound noble on paper, yet they can turn into emotional handcuffs when family ties are already strained.

This dad rejected the chain for two solid reasons: a rocky relationship with his own father and the everyday chaos of identical names. The family’s nuclear response—total radio silence—proves they value the ritual over the people in it. Modern society increasingly celebrates unique identities for kids, seeing forced legacy names as more burden than blessing.

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Family psychologist Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore wrote in Psychology Today (2022): “Naming a child after a relative can honor heritage, but forcing it when there’s unresolved conflict often creates pressure rather than pride.”

Practical advice? Double down on the choice. Build new holiday traditions with your wife and kids—think matching pajamas and zero confusion at the dinner table. If reconciliation ever feels right, mail a grandkid photo with a simple “We love you” note. Let the bible stay in the past; your family’s future is yours to write.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The online crowd turned this into a full-blown roast of outdated traditions, with zero chill for the dramatic relatives.

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Commenters cheered the escape plan, insisting toxic relatives aren’t worth a signature line.

peakpenguins − NTA at all. I can assure you that anyone who would cut you out of their lives over this was not worth having in your life in the...

[Reddit User] − I also didn’t name my son after myself- I’m an alright guy but one of me is plenty. He has his own name so that he can...

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Cannabis_CatSlave − NTA Opposite actually, kids should have their own name and not be just a new iteration of their ancestor.

ConvivialKat − NTA Your family's actions are proving why it was a good choice for you not to give your son the "family" name. Why associate the poor kid with...

Folks dragged the relatives for prioritizing ink over actual humans.

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lizzyote − Weird that a family name is more important than the family members themselves. Good riddance.

HyliaSerket − They sound f__king miserable to be around. NTA.

lilyofthevalley2659 − NTA. My husband is a junior and it sucks. We are always getting mail and calls for his father. Even financial information gets mixed up.

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You did the right thing giving your son his own name. Your family sounds like a bunch of bullies. No loss there. Enjoy your holidays with your wife and kids.

Savage one-liners mocked the absurdity of bible-thumping name police.

GLG777 − NTA. Not at all. We don’t live the old days. You can name your kid whatever you want (as long as won’t get him bullied).

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[Reddit User] − NTA. I think naming your child after yourself is stupid and egotistical. But even if you're cool with it, this is your child, you can name them...

Negative_Reading_600 − I don’t know…. these people that are mad and not involved in your lives because of a “NAME” the same people who have “BIBLES”? not religious myself…this is...

Breaking the chain freed this dad from a legacy of resentment and gifted his son a clean slate. Key takeaway: traditions shine brightest when they’re chosen, not enforced. Cherish the people who stick around for you, not your label.

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Would you keep a family naming tradition alive or burn the rulebook? Drop your stories below!

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