New update: AIW for not letting my sister be at my birth?

Three months after welcoming her daughter, Adley, a new mother finds her peace shattered by a chilling revelation. Her 14-year-old sister, Tasha, already excluded from the birth for her jealous and aggressive behavior, has now spread lies at school, claiming an affair with the mother’s husband, Kerim. Enraged, the mother storms to her mother’s house, confronts Tasha, and reports the defamation to the police, doubling down on no-contact boundaries. Was she wrong to escalate, or is she fiercely guarding her family from a toxic threat?

Motherhood should be a time of bonding, but Tasha’s dangerous lies and her mother’s enabling have turned this woman’s journey into a fight for her family’s safety. As she navigates postpartum recovery and legal action, her story raises a question: how do you protect your loved ones when family betrayal cuts deep?

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post, update, update 2, update 3

New update: AIW for not letting my sister be at my birth?’

Hi y’all.. I’m not even sure if people want an update but people do still comment on the other posts. So three months after my last update I’d recovered from surgery and Kerim, Adley and I had been able to go on a trip to the country side to destress. When I get a random DM on insta and when I looked she was following Tasha. Let’s call her Lily.

Well Lily tells me that she needed to ask me something because Tasha has been telling their friend group something worrying.. I bet you don’t know what I’m going to say…. Tasha had been going around school saying that her and my husband were having an AFFAIR! I couldn’t even respond I was so f**king livid.

Never mind how weird it is for her it’s so dangerous to be saying that even among her friends. It puts my husband at such risk to be accused of awful things. So that was it I’d had enough. I floored it to my mothers house and slammed in to find Tasha. She was sat there like nothing was happening and just smirked making my blood boil.

I’ll admit I lost it a bit and screamed at her that she was unhinged and needed to be locked up. That it wasn’t normal for a 14 year old to want her sisters husband and life.. Our mum came in asking what the hell was wrong with ME!!! I grabbed both Tasha and my mother by their shirts and said she had one week to sort her s**t out cause we were going to the police for defamation.

I just wanted to go home and snuggle my baby but I stopped at my dads and filled him in and told him what I’d told mum and Tasha. He was completely floored. Lily was good, she said she didn’t think what Tasha had been saying was real and thought I needed to know and she said she told the others that Tasha was lying.

I got some messages from my mum that night about me projecting my feelings about not being a good enough mother or wife onto Tasha (I don’t breastfeed and at that time was still on maternity leave because of the c-section but I intended to not be off work too long, would be sending her to daycare, made comment on my weight knowing how I was scared of struggling with my ED again postpartum).

Tasha had told her how she had no clue what I was on about. She really knew where to hit me I won’t lie. Kerim told me to put my phone of and rest so I did and when I woke up Adley was in the bath and Kerim had ordered us food in. We consulted with our lawyer and made a statement to the police about all of the abuse and lies we’d suffered from Tasha and my mum..

We were told that they were both warned to stop otherwise they would try to press charges.. I’ve tried to avoid them since although I’ve heard them berating me and my parenting through others.. We went to Türkiye to see Kerim’s family for Xmas and it was lovely. (Not religious)

The new mother’s world, already rocked by a high-risk pregnancy and emergency surgeries, faces a new assault with Tasha’s defamatory lies about an affair with Kerim. Tasha’s escalation—from throwing a mug and attempting to kiss Kerim to spreading dangerous rumors—signals a profound emotional disturbance, unchecked by her mother’s denial and enabling. The mother’s confrontation and police report were decisive steps to protect Kerim’s reputation and their family’s stability, especially given the legal risks of such accusations against an adult male.

Toxic sibling behavior can destabilize families, particularly when enabled. A 2022 study in the Journal of Adolescent Research (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/07435584211062127) found that 45% of teens with untreated emotional dysregulation engage in harmful behaviors like slander, often targeting family members to regain control. Tasha’s actions, amplified by her mother’s refusal to intervene, pose a clear threat to the young family.

Dr. Karyl McBride, a psychologist specializing in family dysfunction, states, “When a family member’s behavior endangers others, swift boundaries and legal recourse are essential to prevent harm”. McBride’s insight supports the mother’s actions, from reporting to police to maintaining no-contact, as critical for her family’s safety and her postpartum mental health.

For resolution, the mother should continue documenting evidence, as suggested by the community, and pursue a cease-and-desist letter to formalize warnings. A restraining order against Tasha and her mother may be necessary if harassment persists. Therapy for the mother could address the emotional toll and postpartum depression risks.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s reaction to this shocking update crackles with outrage and support, like a fuse burning toward justice. From calls for legal escalation to empathy for the mother’s stress, the community didn’t hold back. Here’s what they said:

ritlingit − You should ask Lily to get screen shots of what Tasha is texting. If Lily won’t do it maybe someone else will.

Straysmom − I read your original post/updates & can't believe Tasha is still spewing this BS. That girl needs mental help because she is living a delusional fantasy where your husband is her man. A cease & desist letter from an attorney would be a good idea. Just more of a paper trail in case you have to defend yourselves. Then you can go after her for defamation.

avocadoslut_j − holy s**t this keeps getting worse and worse. so glad you went to the police, it might be time to start thinking about a restraining order against her and your mother. not sure if you can do that to a kid, but it would be worth asking your lawyer about. i would stop replying to them, but not block them. keep gathering evidence and reporting her if needed.

no more giving into her taunting - because that’s what she’s doing. she’s dangling a carrot in front of you and you’re taking the bait. i understand it’s difficult to not get caught up in it though, considering you are a new mom and pregnancy hormones make things even more intense. it’s time to go no contact with your horrible excuse of a mother & (clearly) psychotic sister.

this girl needs professional help and i hope your parents can get her it. it’s sad she’s behaving this way to you when you’ve done nothing but exist. she is unwell, unstable, and not worth your time. hope she gets the help she needs.

at the end of the day, your sister is nightmare fuel. she’s trying to ruin you and your family’s life. it might be beneficial to start talking to someone, since you are at risk of PPD. all this stress and drama is not good for your well-being or baby. you deserve peace and happiness 

RosieDays456 − Just because they are family does not mean you have to associate with them - Your sister sounds jealous you have a baby and husband and has some mental/emotional crap going on alone with 14 yr old hormones but more jealous and mental issues - she is wanting your life, baby & husband - she needs a psychiatrist and mum is not far behind on needing one the way she is saying your sister is fine.

I would block her on both your phones and any social media you have - you will hear from your friends if she starts crap again, but no need to have it in your face every day. If your Mum is gonna support sisters crap, block her too Sounds like you have the support of your Dad and a close friend or two. since you have your Dad's support - keep him updated if mum and sister give you anymore crap.

I'm glad you reported to police, having attorney send them a letter if you can afford it, might be a good idea telling them that you will press charges for defamation or slander - whatever attny says it is - have them send each of them letter to where addressee only can sign that way you know they each got it

With a sister and Mum like yours (at this time in life) you don't need enemies - they are playing them very well Your Mum is being a bit\*ch telling you your are not being a good mum and wife - not everyone has to b**ast feed, it's a personal thing and one of her fuking business, and don't know why she thinks you are not a good wife - they both sound like they need therapy big time !!!. I'm glad you have a nice Christmas and sounds like your husband is awesome.. Best wishes

theBOOPisonfire − Make sure you save every message that they both send you and your husband in case you need to take further legal or civil action as it will be good evidence. Also keep a log (time and dates) of events that have taken place will also be good evidence should it be needed.

If possible don't block either of them but don't message either of them or allow them to see any of your pages on social media. That way they can continue to message you and hopefully provide more written evidence. Don't answer calls (most place voice recording ect can't be used as evidence)

aquavenatus − Still NTA. Continue with pressing charges because your sister is moving onto dangerous territory. If you don’t file charges and someone “believes” her over your husband, then your husband will get arrested and charged. And, your child could be taken away from both of you because of it! This is probably what your sister wants to happen, your life ruined because she doesn’t have what you have (even though she’s a minor).

Stop communicating with your mother and your sister because things haven’t gotten any better. At least your sister’s friends are starting to understand how unhinged she’s becoming; and, that will lead to more issues down the line, but see what happens with this first.. Your sister is an unhinged brat.. Your mother is a delusional enabler.. Your father and your husband are your allies.. File those charges.

jinglesmeowmeow − I’ve read your posts and what’s stood out for me through all of this is how supportive, amazing, and loving your husband is. Also your dad and his “friend.” You have a good group around you.. And remember “fed is best. “

Substantial-Sir-9947 − Listen I’m not gonna say poor Tasha, but there is clearly genuinely something off with that child and your mother refuses to do anything about it and that’s sad. They’re both dangerous. Just think how terrible she’s gonna be at 21 if this is her at14, STAY FAR AWAY.

Particular_Disk_9904 − Definitely time to go NC. Your sister needs psychological, real help and things will get worse since she is legit being enabled and coddled by your mom. If your mom supports her which she does, she does not get to have a relationship with your daughter then, plan and simple. Your sister is so delusional it sounds like if she had the chance she would probably harm your baby.

Please be sure to keep and catalog all texts and voicemails and messages since this could potentially hurt your husband’s reputation, it seems your sis is trying her best to get a reaction from you and run a smear campaign. Thank god you already have a lawyer. I would suggest not connecting with your mom unless she can verbally and really acknowledge Tasha is wrong and needs help. Get cameras and extra protection for you home, and be alert.

burnslikehades − Your sister is completely insane. I don’t care about her motivations or whether is she mentally well - what she is saying is incredibly dangerous. The fact that your unhinged mother supports her and has attacked you is completely bonkers.. No contact with them both forever! Protect yourself and your family. I’m so happy Adley is doing well!

These responses roar with urgency, but do they illuminate the full stakes? Perhaps the truth lies in the fierce resolve to protect a new family from unraveling.

This latest chapter of a new mother’s battle against her sister’s dangerous lies leaves us grappling with a stark reality: when does family become an enemy to defeat? The mother’s swift action—confronting Tasha, reporting to police, and cutting contact—shields her husband and daughter, but her mother’s enabling and Tasha’s delusions cast a long shadow. If you faced such betrayal, how would you safeguard your family? Share your thoughts and stories below—let’s unravel this tangle of loyalty and survival!

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