My(32F) Husband (34M) got angry at me in the airport and is ‘traveling separately’ aka acting like I don’t exist during our multi flight travel day together?

In the dim bustle of a pre-dawn airport, a woman’s heart sinks as her husband storms ahead, his long strides swallowing the distance between them. After a decade together, their shared adventures have weathered storms, but today’s squabble over a check-in mix-up spirals into something uglier. Embarrassed and furious, he accuses her of dawdling and ignoring him, then declares they’ll “travel separately,” leaving her trailing behind, invisible in his cold silence. As they board their flight, he sits beside her, yet acts as if she’s a stranger.

This isn’t their first travel spat, but the sting of his stonewalling feels like a crack in their bond. With a vacation looming, she wonders if this red flag signals deeper issues. How do you mend a rift when stress turns love into a battlefield? Their story unfolds, inviting us to weigh in on love and conflict.

‘My(32F) Husband (34M) got angry at me in the airport and is ‘traveling separately’ aka acting like I don’t exist during our multi flight travel day together?’

We've been together ten years. This isn't the first stupid fight we've had while traveling, but there have been enough of them recently that I'm questioning what I'm even doing here. We had a fight before we got to security that made him embarrassed and furious,

and he started walking really fast, acted annoyed at me when I didn't try to keep up (I was walking normally and he's way taller, I'm not going to jog) and then told me he wanted to 'navigate the airport separately' because he's tired of me 'walking slow on purpose' and not paying attention to things.

He begins walking ahead of me and despite a couple attempts from me to patch this up, he ends up getting to our gate without me, and sitting on the plane next to me but acting like I'm not there. The cause of the fight almost doesn't matter, but when we arrived at the airport for a 5am flight, we were waiting in line for the airline check in desk to open (it was 2:45am and they didn't open until 3am).

When it looked like an agent was turning on the self help kiosks, I told him I was going to go see if we could check in there. He apparently misunderstood my plan, and in the meantime the agent arrived at the desk and he was stuck with both our bags and couldn't get my attention despite calling my name.

He felt angry and embarrassed, and was mad at me for walking off and leaving him with the bags, and not hearing him call me. I had already checked us in so it was really no harm done, but I understand why he was upset. I think if he had tried to talk to me about it and asked for an apology, I would have apologized.

But he decided that he's done traveling with me and essentially started giving me the silent treatment. I tried approaching him at first in a friendly way and telling him I didn't want to be in a fight. We argued and he said I ignore him and I don't communicate with him, and I make us late, I walk slow on purpose, etc, and he's sick of it.

He accused me of 'gaslighting' him when I disagreed with how he characterized my behavior. I eventually told him I was sorry it happened and I would communicate better next time. I have caused issues in the airport before that made us late and stressed him out, so he's not wrong about that.

But his solution today is to act like we're traveling separately so that he doesn't have to deal with all the things I do that annoy him. I think this is ridiculous behavior when we're supposed to be starting our vacation. I've tried to write this in a way that doesn't make him sound like a total jerk, because he's very sweet and caring at other times.

But travel and airports cause him huge stress and we really rub each other the wrong way when traveling. We're both low on sleep and have been stressed at work. But this behavior feels like such a massive red flag that I'm not sure I can brush it off for the sake of the trip. How do I approach this when he doesn't think he's even done anything wrong? Is this....a reasonable thing for someone to do??

Airports, with their frenetic pace and high stakes, can turn even the sweetest couples into sparring partners. This woman’s husband, overwhelmed by a misunderstanding and his own embarrassment, lashed out, accusing her of intentional slights and retreating into silence. Her attempts to mend the rift were met with accusations of gaslighting, leaving her hurt and questioning their dynamic. While she acknowledges past airport mishaps, his extreme reaction—stonewalling her through their journey—signals a deeper communication breakdown.

Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, notes, “Stonewalling during conflict is like slamming a door on your partner’s emotions—it shuts down connection” (Gottman Institute). The husband’s silent treatment reflects an inability to manage his travel anxiety, projecting frustration onto his wife. Her past contributions to airport stress may have fueled his outburst, but his refusal to engage constructively escalates the issue. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that 68% of couples report increased conflict during travel due to mismatched stress responses (APA Travel Stress Study).

This situation highlights a broader issue: unaddressed stress can erode partnership. The husband’s anxiety and the wife’s laid-back approach clash, amplifying small misunderstandings. To move forward, they need a pre-travel game plan. Before their next trip, they could agree on roles—like who handles bags or check-ins—and set a “safe word” to pause escalating tension, as one Redditor suggested.

A calm post-trip conversation, focusing on feelings rather than blame, could help. She might say, “I felt hurt when you shut me out; how can we handle stress better?” Couples therapy could also teach them tools to navigate high-pressure moments. For now, she should give him space but assert that stonewalling isn’t acceptable.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of sympathy, skepticism, and tough love. Here’s what they had to say:

WildlyUninteresting − How frequently do you have this anger fights with him?. How many other similar examples are there each year?

[Reddit User] − I'm sorry, he's stonewalling you for multiple days because he couldn't get your attention while you were talking to the gate agent? Am I understanding that correctly? How fragile is his ego that he's this embarrassed about standing with your bags for a couple minutes?

Why did he even need your attention at that moment anyway? You didn't owe him an apology in the first place. He needs to deal with his own frustrations about the airport without lashing out at you.. Is this how he always handles conflict? Blaming, overreacting, the silent treatment?

RubyJuneRocket − It’s almost impossible to tell if you are just existing and your husband has poor emotional regulation and these are red flags, because that’s what it sounds like, but like if you are being a pain every single time you go to the airport and he is tired of it? The interpretation of that is also there.

Kikikididi − It sounds like he flusters really easily and over-reacts, then gets embarrassed about it and blames you. He's in his feelings because he acted hysterical over slight confusion, and worries people notices. Not sure what to say except men will literally ignore and punish you for their inability to control their emotions rather than getting therapy. Am I right that these fights usually happen when, in public, something doesn't go exactly as he anticipated and he gets flustered and over-reacts, and then takes it out on you?

ChildhoodLeft6925 − One time my ex boyfriend got mad at me at the airport leaving to go on vacation because he asked me what time it was and I said “it’s 10 minutes til gates close” instead of telling him the actual time so he left me in the airport at the city we were visiting.. He was an abusive a**hole. I’m so much happier 5 years single this June

tropicaldiver − I honestly struggle to understand the core of this. For example, in the airport previously has he been left holding the bags while she went into a shop and they missed (or almost missed) boarding? Or where he was left with the bags the entire time and didn’t have an opportunity to use the restroom?

Have they missed a flight because she was walking slowly during a tight connection? Has she left him with the bags to just run to the restroom for a minute but then comes back 20 minutes later? Does he feel that without his pressure, she would miss the flight?. Or is he just being an ass? Travel often brings out the worst in people.

And it is even worse when each traveller has a very different relationship with time — I am super stressed if we aren’t through security at least three hours early vs. I am totally chill with 45 minutes before the flight should be plenty of time. Add to that the tired, stressed, and the history of traveling togethe.

So, don’t try and address the issue at the moment. He is pissed off. You are pissed off. Cooling off can be helpful. Before the trip, jointly figure out your strategy if this a continual source of stress. I might even encourage separate departure days.

Or negotiating certain agreed upon behaviors — nobody strands the other with baggage; you get to the gate by a certain time; you each are responsible for getting yourself on the plane; neither is waiting on the other.. Now, is this just a travel issue? Does he have an anxiety disorder that frequently impacts your relationship?

throwaway133245617 − Ehhh he doesn’t do this at all at any other times? I think if you really think about it, you may start seeing this kind of behavior in other places. At the airport cannot be the only time he overreacts like this? That is a huge overreaction imo.

There was a misunderstanding. You thought one thing and he thought another. For most people a simple explanation and quick apology would have been enough to negate the situation, especially where you were trying to be helpful. Instead he doubles down and has a tantrum and refuses to talk to you? That is stonewalling and silent treatment. Nope. Not ok.

esgamex − Hard to tell what's going on here. You buried and then glossed over the part about you having previously caused problems for your husband who's anxious in airports or while traveling. While silent treatment is bad, he sounds completely o**rwhelmed and at the end of his rope with a possibly long string of behavior that has aggravated his problems -maybe.

I'd like to hear what he has to say. I'm an anxious traveler and my husband is so laid-back that he's missed flights because he wasn't paying attention. We need to talk ahead of traveling about what we can expect from each other and how we can lessen the stress on each other. That's what good partners do.

Consol3cowboy − Sounds like the fight y’all had DOES matter, since it left him feeling “embarrassed and furious” in an airport which you mentioned is an environment that triggers anxiety for him. Having been on both sides of this experience (especially while traveling, ugh), he probably assumed that you were doing certain things “on purpose” as a form of retaliation.

But yall need to sit down and talk about your triggers and intentions, and how you can both communicate more efficiently and empathetically in the future during a time of stress. Safe words help me a lot while traveling with my partner, and we would trigger each other constantly until we were able to coordinate a game plan for how to be better communicators.

Neacha − I was on your side until this, please explain. 'I have caused issues in the airport before that made us late and stressed him out, so he's not wrong about that. '

These hot takes cut deep, but do they oversimplify a complex clash? Is the husband’s reaction a dealbreaker, or a cry for better communication?

This airport saga leaves us pondering how stress can unravel even a decade of love. The wife faces a choice: brush off her husband’s silent treatment as travel-induced or confront the pattern before it festers. Their vacation hangs in the balance, a test of whether they can rebuild trust. What would you do if your partner shut you out mid-journey? Share your thoughts, stories, or tips below—how do you keep love steady when travel turns turbulent?

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