My wife wants to disown our son for cheating on his GF. Who is wrong?

A mother’s rage boiled over when her college-aged son cheated on his girlfriend, prompting her to expose his betrayal and threaten to disown him, likening his actions to unforgivable evil. Her husband, caught in the crossfire, agrees the son was wrong but finds her reaction wildly overblown, fearing she’ll regret shunning him.

s the girlfriend and son seemingly reconcile, the family teeters on edge. Echoing your struggles with overbearing family, like your mother-in-law’s intrusions, this Reddit tale probes parental limits and loyalty. When does discipline become destruction?

‘My wife wants to disown our son for cheating on his GF. Who is wrong?’

Our son is in college and he has a long term girlfriend and he cheated on her with his ex GF. My wife warned him to come clean and tell his GF. My son was being selfish and he didn’t. When a month went by and nothing, my wife dropped the bomb. GF is devastated.

But I think her and my son are still “talking” because they still hang around each other like his cheating never happened My wife is upset that our son would do this. Don’t get me wrong so am I. I just don’t like to stay my kids romantic drama. He’s an adult.

My wife wants to cut all contact with him because she thinks he’s the equivalent to Hitler because of his cheating which I definitely don’t agree with her on and i know my wife will deeply regret doing this to her son when our son is going to be talking to his whole family but ignores his mom.

A mother’s threat to disown her son over cheating reflects a moral stand but risks fracturing family bonds. Her exposure of his infidelity, while honest, and her extreme comparison to “Hitler” suggest unresolved pain, possibly from past betrayal, as Reddit speculated. The father’s balanced disapproval of both the son’s actions and the mother’s reaction aligns with your boundary-setting, like resisting your sister-in-law’s vacation demands. The son’s ongoing talks with his girlfriend show the issue may resolve independently, highlighting parental overreach.

Over-involvement in adult children’s relationships can backfire. A 2023 study in Journal of Family Issues found that parental interference in romantic conflicts often alienates children, reducing family closeness (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0192513X221150934). The mother’s ultimatum, while rooted in values, ignores her son’s autonomy as a young adult.

Dr. Susan Forward, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Cutting off a child for moral missteps punishes rather than teaches, often reflecting the parent’s unresolved issues” (https://www.susanforward.com/books). The mother’s intense reaction may stem from personal history, needing exploration through therapy. Her husband’s concern about future regret is valid—disownment could cost her milestones like graduations or grandchildren.

Advice: The father should encourage a private, calm discussion with his wife to explore her reaction’s roots, possibly suggesting counseling. They could guide their son toward accountability, like an apology to his girlfriend, without ultimatums.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit brought the heat, mixing support for the father’s stance with sharp critiques of the mother’s overreaction, served with a side of wit. Here’s what the community had to say:

nick4424 − What he did was wrong but cutting off contact is overkill.

wlfwrtr − Sounds like your wife was hurt deeply by someone who cheated. Maybe she needs to sit son down and tell him her story to let him understand why she feels so strongly against it.

Euphoric-Ad-6584 − I’m glad she exposed him, but disowning is a bit much, no I don’t think you are wrong

Pappkamerad0815 − You dont disown your own child over cheating and especially not over a gf. Its ok if she wants to show him the cold shoulder for a while but then tell her to reconcile. Also you definately want to find out where her strong reaction is coming from. Maybe she was cheated on in the past, that would be the preferable reason. The other reason would be her projecting her own guilty upon him.

AbundantAberration − What he did was wrong but so is your wife. Stay the f**k out of your children's college drama and let them sort it out. Everyone's wrong. Everyone sucks. Everyone's the a**hole.

Aggravating-Pea193 − Your wife has issues that clearly negatively impact her relationships. This is NOT healthy. YOU should make clear to your son that you disagree with your wife on this response. Tell her to move out when he’s home if she wants to disown him because you’re NOT doing the same. She needs counseling.

Choice-Intention-926 − Your wife is not wrong for telling the truth.. Your wife is wrong for trying to disown her son.. Your son is grown, your job as parental authority figure has ended. You can be a trusted advisor. If you overstep the boundaries of advisors YOU will be cut off not him. He has a lot of life left to live that you will miss out on..

1. College Graduation. 2. Wedding. 3. Birth of first child. 4. Being in the life of your grandchildren. Tell me who stands to lose the most? Is it not your wife? She had better reconsider her disowning stance. She can explain that him being a cheater is going to ruin his life and that everything he works for he will lose but she can ONLY advise.

He is free to disregard whatever she says and continue living his life as he pleases. What she doesn’t have to do is coddle him when his life blows up in his face.. Edit: changed parent to parental as a few people were having difficulty understanding my meaning.

throwawaypaul2 − Your wife's reaction is nuts and has nothing to do with your son. She needs therapy big-time.

[Reddit User] − Why is a college students love life any business of the parents. I have kids the same age and this is just bizzare

Emergency_Affect_640 − Bro you're wife is wild. Comparing him to Hitler because he cheated? Does she know what Hitler did? Jesus thats overdramatic.

These takes are bold, but do they miss the mother’s perspective? Is this just drama, or a deeper family wound?

This mother’s vow to disown her son over cheating is a stark reminder that love can turn to judgment in a heartbeat. Her husband’s pushback, much like your stand against your mother-in-law’s overreach, defends family ties against rash decisions. But is she wrong to demand integrity, or is her punishment too harsh? Would you step into your child’s romantic mess or let them learn? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this family firestorm!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *