My sister (23f) cheated on her boyfriend (23m) and he’s about to propose?

Jonathan Hours
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In the warm glow of a cozy coffee shop, a young woman sips her latte, her mind racing with a secret heavier than the steam rising from her cup. Her younger sister, caught in a web of her own making, cheated on her boyfriend during a so-called “break” last summer. Now, with Valentine’s Day looming, the boyfriend is planning a dreamy proposal, oblivious to the betrayal. The sister’s plea for silence weighs on her conscience, stirring a storm of guilt and loyalty.

How does one navigate a truth that could shatter a relationship? Readers are drawn into this tangled tale of deception, trust, and moral crossroads, wondering if love can survive a hidden past. The drama unfolds with raw emotion, inviting us to question where loyalty lies when hearts are on the line.

‘My sister (23f) cheated on her boyfriend (23m) and he’s about to propose?’

So my younger sister grew close to one of her boyfriend’s friends last summer. Her boyfriend was studying for the MCAT in his free time and wasn’t spending as much time with her. So she began to hangout with the male friend. Her boyfriend said he trusted her and he wasn’t worried or jealous. He should have been.

She asked her boyfriend for a break and then slept with the male friend. She reported to me that the affair was an “empty experience.” She got back with her boyfriend right after. Her boyfriend was confused when the longtime male friend suddenly stopped speaking to him. My sister never said a word.

She left her boyfriend think he’d offended his friend or something. She asked me to never tell. Fast forward to 2024! Valentine’s Day is approaching. Her boyfriend texted me asking for my help in setting up a heartfelt proposal for her. I cannot help with this in good conscience.

I feel I’d be complicit in her sin. Their marriage would be started on a lie. Tonight, I encouraged her to tell him what happened last summer. She said they were on a break and it doesn’t matter. But it does! She asked for the break with ulterior motives. The truth will come out.. How can I say no to helping with the proposal? I can’t be involved with this.

Betrayal during a relationship “break” is a gray area that sparks heated debate. The sister’s calculated move to pause her relationship raises questions about intent and honesty. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, and betrayal, even in ambiguous moments, can erode that foundation” (The Gottman Institute). Her secrecy suggests she knows the truth matters, yet fears its consequences.

This situation reflects broader issues of transparency in relationships. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 70% of couples consider infidelity during a break as damaging as during active commitment (SAGE Journals). The sister’s dismissal of her actions as irrelevant ignores her boyfriend’s right to make an informed choice.

Gottman’s perspective highlights the need for accountability. The sister’s bad-faith break was a deliberate step, not a spontaneous mistake. Her silence manipulates her boyfriend’s trust, setting a shaky foundation for marriage. The sibling’s discomfort reflects a moral instinct to protect someone from a life-altering decision made in the dark.

For solutions, open communication is key. The sister should be urged to confess, framing it as an act of respect. If she refuses, the sibling might consider an anonymous tip to preserve the boyfriend’s agency without direct confrontation.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of outrage and advice. Here’s a peek at the community’s candid, sometimes snarky, takes on this messy love triangle. Buckle up for some truth bombs!

SuperGRB − Don't let him make the mistake of his life. Tell him anonymously if need be.

Historical-Pie-5052 − What your sister did was wrong. She broke up with her boyfriend to sleep with his friend. I'm surprised his jilted buddy hasn't said something. The boyfriend needs to know. I guarantee you this will come out at some point after they are married. Then it's a worse mess.

Bill2550 − Tell her it is her bf’s responsibility to decide if it doesn’t matter to him. She KNOWS it would matter that is why she refuses to say anything!. “It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!” (Stand up for him). Updateme

MudAny8723 − After seeing your post and comments, you need to tell him what happened. Especially since this doesn't seem to be a one-off thing. He deserves to know what's going on and what she's been doing before he makes a big mistake. Being engaged or married probably won't change her behavior, and what happens if you don't tell him, and they end up getting married, have kids, and he finds out.. If this was you and someone knew, wouldn't you want them to tell you?

searching4signal − Say you can't in good conscience

Robdyson − We all know what a 'break' is code word for, to f**k around and Find Out. She did just that, and the grass wasn't greener. On one end, if she takes this information to the grave, it might be happily ever after. Who knows how many relationships are in this category with secrets taken to the grave. Again, my standing is she did it during a break.

Although the break was asked in bad faith but a break implies imma quickly try someone else out or let me be in my own thoughts to find myself. My moral compass would say tell him. But I'm wise enough to know not to mess with other people's happiness. As long as she doesn't mess around during a non break / in a relationship.

VideogamerDisliker − Tell the guy before he makes the biggest mistake of his life. F**k your cheating ass sister

limlwl − Please please tell him!!!! If your partner ever cheated on you , don’t you want to know ?? This is someone’s life that you are talking about. You don’t need to tell your sister that you told him but you need to tell him and let him know that this is something you are doing for him and not to make further trouble for you by exposing where he got the information for.

[Reddit User] − Tell him now.. Honestly you should’ve told him a long time ago. Soon as you found out they were back together.. Your sister is trash. I feel sorry for anyone who ends up with her.

Reasonable_Syrup_109 − Hey op to be short tell your sister no and stand on why you said it. She was grown enough to scheme and manipulated her boyfriend so she needs to take responsibility for it. She wants this fairytale and he’s willing to give it to her, whoever knows and doesn’t say anything will be apart of the betrayal when this all inevitably comes out.

These hot takes from Reddit are juicy, but do they cut to the core of reality? Is it always better to spill the tea, or can some secrets stay buried for love’s sake?

This tale of hidden betrayal leaves us pondering the cost of silence versus the chaos of truth. The sister stands at a crossroads, with her boyfriend’s heart and her own conscience hanging in the balance. Should she protect her sister’s secret or save a man from a marriage built on lies? What would you do if you were caught in this family drama? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s unpack this together!

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