My mom threatened to call CPS on me and my wife when the baby isn’t born yet?

A family gathering around a crackling campfire can sometimes reveal more than shared memories—it can expose underlying tensions and unspoken resentments. In this case, a simple comment from a mother escalates into a painful warning that echoes through the couple’s new chapter of life. The ambiance shifts from warmth to uncertainty in mere moments.

The couple’s anticipation for their baby is overshadowed by a harsh threat that questions their competence and care. With deep scars from past experiences and fears of repeating history, they find themselves caught between familial love and the need for respect. Their emotional journey now hinges on whether reconciliation is possible through an apology.

‘My mom threatened to call CPS on me and my wife when the baby isn’t born yet?’

I 20 M and my wife 25 F are preparing to have a baby. At my previous house I had a roommate who was a horder and the house was constantly trashed because of her habits however I have since moved with my wife to our own place this is important to the story. A few weeks ago my wife and I were at a a camping trip with my mom, grandma, grandpa, step dad, step sisters and my brother.

During our camping trip we were gathered around the fire and my mom said to me and my wife she would call CPS on us if our house was a mess like at our old house with my roomate, I found this odd because I feel I am no more messy than your avrage person. I clean my plates after I eat and I pick things up after I am done useing them so that my room/ house doesn't get messy and I mop sweep and vacuum once a week on either Sunday or Saturday.

Me and my wife left the trip mad because my mom said she would call CPS on us when we haven't even had a chance to see or hold our baby yet. She implied I don't have a clean house, in addition to that my wife has first hand experience with CPS as she grew up in and out of foster care.

Me and my wife decided to give her the silent treatment and cut contact with her as this is not the first time she pulled something like this. The last thing we said to her is we don't want to speak with her until she apologizes to me and my wife for her remarks, and she refuses to apologize to us. Earlier today she reached out to my wife and texted her that she wants to apologize at a bon fire at her house. I'm skeptical but I don't know how to precede. Reddit AITAH?

Letting your partner meet your family can feel like a monumental step in any relationship—an event laden with hope, vulnerability, and at times, unexpected conflict. In this case, the tension arises from a comment that goes far beyond a simple critique of tidiness. The couple’s anxiety over their new future is amplified by past traumas and familial patterns that blur the lines between concern and control. This miscommunication underscores the delicate balance in blending personal history with future aspirations.

The OP’s situation highlights a clash between different perceptions of cleanliness, responsibility, and familial duty. Their determination to protect their new life is understandable given the painful experiences related to foster care and past domestic chaos. What might have been intended as a cautionary remark instead feels invasive and punitive. This discord reflects a broader societal challenge: how to maintain family connections when past wounds influence present expectations.

In examining this dynamic further, consider the words of renowned expert Dr. Gabor Maté, who states, “Boundaries are essential to protect both the individual and the family unit, especially when past wounds run deep.” This insight echoes the couple’s need for clear, respectful limits. The expert’s perspective, drawn from years of studying family behavior and trauma, reminds us that concern must be coupled with understanding, not delivered as a threat. (For more on his perspective, visit Dr. Gabor Maté’s official site.)

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid, humorous, and downright blunt. These reactions, though diverse, reflect the raw emotions stirred up by the situation and pose the question: do these opinions truly capture the complexity of real family dynamics?

Pretend_Wealth_9818 − Why does it need to be at a bonfire at her house?! That sounds like a set up to me. But my family really sucks so I always have my hackles up.

KeyHovercraft2637 − Keep all records of every single thing your mom texts, voicemails and a journal of conversations. I’d even suggest recording all conversations with her from now on. If she’s already thinking of CPS then she is planning on trying for custody. Pls tread very carefully. I’d honestly consider NC to LC.

Have your ducks in a row and she will be charged with filing a false report or whatever your area deems it. They will investigate but they also get bogus claims often by vindictive people. Congratulations on your new little one!

[Reddit User] − Dont let your mom see te baby, you may Call CPS about your situation with your mom, so they now have a file about fake calls from her.

Head_Photograph9572 − NTA. If she was really apologetic, she would come to you to do it! She's just going to

SoCalThrowAway7 − How long were you dating before getting married?

Sudden-Pomegranate95 − NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!. I repeat NO. This is a downright n**ty THREAT and you need to cut ties for a long, long time immediately. Allowing your mom contact with your baby will give her the opportunity to establish a relationship meaning she could claim for grandparents rights at the least.

If she hasn’t met your baby she can not make false claims. Don’t tell her anything, not about the baby being born, not when you’re home absolutely NOTHING. Your mom has gone to the most absolutely outrageous and nuclear option she could possibly do and your sweet baby isn’t even here yet.

Please, please don’t give this n**ty woman any more ammunition and get a paper trail of her behaviour. Tell the hospital under no circumstances is your mother allowed to visit or be told any information. If she attempts to contact you ignore her and report immediately. She is now a danger to you and your family.

pseudofakeaccount − She has a right to be concerned. There's a HUGE difference between a naturally messy house and living with an actual hoarder. Not sure of your circumstances, but point is you willing lived in trash. Yeah she could have been a mature adult about the situation and had a conversation, but her concerns were still valid.

ComfortableJunket440 − Ehh idk. She didn’t say she’d called CPS on you though, she said IF your house looked like it did before THEN she would call CPS. That’s not a threat or even calling you messy now. To me it sounds like a reference to a past situation. Assuming you and your wife are clean people then you should let it roll off like a duck or even respond with “I would hope you would!” ….

Because if you really don’t fall into that category, it shouldn’t bother you. If you were a contributor to the hoarding and that’s something you struggle with, then take it seriously and fix it. Put it this way: if your hoarder roommate found out they were having a baby and you know what their house looked like, would YOU call CPS if they hadn’t cleaned and sanitized and changed their ways by the time the baby came? I would hope you would.

What she said could have been said with more tact, I’m sure, but the way you’ve written this out at least doesn’t sound like she’s saying she’s coming for your baby if you forget to dust.

sfrancisch5842 − Anyone besides me get the ick at the age difference?

cheeseballgag − Info: does your mother know that the hoarding situation was your roommate's issue? Have you had an actual conversation with her about that living situation and what it was like for you? You're NTA but frankly I don't necessarily think your mom is either. I was raised in a home with a hoarder and I can't even get into the mental damage it does to a kid to be in that kind of living situation.

It's genuinely traumatic. It fucks you up into adulthood. Your mom is looking at this from the child's perspective. She was harsh and this should have been a conversation rather than a threat, but your child's well being was her priority. If she doesn't know all the details of your previous living situation then she had a realistic concern. . Go to her house and actually talk to her about this. 

In conclusion, this story is a poignant reminder of how even well-intentioned remarks can inflict deep-seated wounds when personal histories are at play. The delicate balance between familial care and personal boundaries leaves many pondering the best path forward in maintaining respect without sacrificing safety. What would you do if you found yourself caught between love, obligation, and protecting your future family? Share your thoughts and experiences below—we invite an open discussion.

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