My fiancés (m32) ex wife reached out to me (f24) to tell me that they divorced because he hit her. Who do I believe?

In a whirlwind of engagement joy, one woman’s world tilted when her fiancé’s ex-wife slid into her DMs with a chilling claim: their marriage ended because he punched her. A dated photo of a bruised face followed, shaking the trust she’d built over three years with a man who’s never shown violence. His heated denial, paired with evidence of an amicable divorce, only deepened her confusion. Now, she’s caught between love and doubt, staring down a life-altering choice.

This Reddit story hooks readers with a gut-wrenching dilemma, blending the thrill of new love with the shadow of a dark accusation. It’s a tale that resonates with anyone who’s faced whispers of a partner’s past, sparking questions about truth and safety. As she wrestles with who to believe, we’re pulled into a maze of trust and betrayal.

‘My fiancés (m32) ex wife reached out to me (f24) to tell me that they divorced because he hit her. Who do I believe?’

An ex-wife’s claim of past abuse is a bombshell that demands careful navigation. The woman’s turmoil is understandable—her fiancé’s denial clashes with a disturbing photo, leaving her questioning a man she’s never seen act violently. His anger when confronted, while possibly defensive, raises concerns, especially given the ex-wife’s evidence and lack of clear motive to lie.

This situation underscores a broader issue: hidden abuse in relationships. A 2023 study by the National Domestic Violence Hotline found 1 in 4 women experience intimate partner violence, often unreported due to shame or fear (source: thehotline.org). The ex-wife’s continued contact with her ex could reflect complex trauma bonds, not disbelief in her own story. Domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That?, notes, “Abusers often appear charming until stress or commitment triggers control tactics, like violence” (source: lundybancroft.com).

Bancroft’s insight suggests the fiancé’s clean record with his fiancée doesn’t negate the possibility of past abuse, especially given the age gap and power dynamics when he pursued her at 21. His dismissal of the photo as fake, without curiosity about why the ex-wife would lie, is concerning. The ex-wife’s warning, timed with the engagement, likely stems from a protective instinct, not malice.

Advice: Meet the ex-wife in person, if safe, to assess her sincerity and ask about their relationship’s context. Observe your fiancé for controlling behaviors, like dismissing your concerns or isolating you. Consider couples counseling to discuss trust openly, and read Bancroft’s book for insight on abuse patterns. For readers, trust your instincts when red flags arise—discussing past relationships early can reveal critical truths. Prioritize safety and clarity before tying the knot.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s commenters brought a mix of sharp warnings and cautious advice, from urging the woman to trust the ex-wife’s evidence to questioning the fiancé’s angry reaction. Their takes blend empathy with stark reality checks. Here’s what the community had to say:

These Reddit opinions are a wake-up call, but do they unravel the truth? Or are they just amplifying the drama of a murky past? One thing’s clear: the internet leans toward caution, urging her to dig deeper.

This story of a shocking allegation and a desperate search for truth highlights the stakes of trust in love. The woman’s dilemma—balancing her fiancé’s denials against his ex-wife’s warning—mirrors the fear of betting on the wrong heart. Whether it’s a lie or a hidden past, it’s a chance to prioritize safety. How do you handle a partner’s disputed history? What would you do with a warning like this? Share your experiences or advice—let’s navigate this maze of doubt and keep the conversation going!