My ex and I broke up and his mom is asking me for security deposit? 22F and 20M.
Their three-year love story ended with a lease—and a $1,750 security deposit—hanging in the balance. He’d promised she could keep it all, but as move-out day loomed, he demanded $750, and his mother escalated with threats to charge for past sleepovers and car rides. Caught between fairness and fury, she stood her ground, sparking a Reddit firestorm. Was she right to fight for the deposit, or should she have let it go? This tale of post-breakup drama dives into the messy clash of love, money, and family meddling, leaving readers to pick a side.
Her story, raw and relatable, unfolds with lessons on boundaries and standing up to pressure. Reddit’s candid takes and expert insights reveal why this fight was about more than just money—it’s about respect and closure in love’s aftermath.
‘my ex and i broke up and his mom is asking me for security deposit? 22F and 20M.’
Breakups are messy, but this Reddit user’s saga shows how money and family can make them messier. Her ex’s last-minute demand for part of the security deposit, after leaving her to clean their shared apartment, feels like a betrayal—especially with his mother’s threats piling on. The dispute isn’t just about $1,750; it’s about fairness and boundaries after love fades.
She invested 20 hours of labor, skipped work, and carried the emotional load of the breakup, while he contributed little. His initial text offering her the full deposit contrasts sharply with his later demand for $750, suggesting either opportunism or pressure from his mother. The mother’s threats to charge for past sleepovers or car rides are baseless—legally and morally—yet they amplify the OP’s stress. This clash reflects a common post-breakup power struggle, where money becomes a proxy for unresolved emotions.
Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Money disputes after a breakup often mask deeper issues of control or resentment” (Psychology Today, 2018). The ex’s mother’s involvement escalates this, turning a couple’s issue into a family feud. Her threats lack legal weight—verbal invitations to stay or occasional rides don’t create a contract—but they weaponize guilt to manipulate. A 2020 study by the American Psychological Association found that financial conflicts post-breakup often stem from perceived inequities, like one partner shouldering more responsibility, as the OP did here.
The OP’s compromise (80/20 split) shows pragmatism, prioritizing peace over principle, but it doesn’t erase the lesson: clear communication and written agreements prevent such chaos. For others, documenting promises (like the ex’s text) and setting firm boundaries with meddling family members are key. Consulting a lawyer or mediator can clarify rights in lease disputes, ensuring fair outcomes without emotional blackmail.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit brought the heat, serving up a mix of sass and solidarity. Here’s what the community had to say:
These spicy takes cut through the drama, but do they see the full picture or just cheer for the underdog? One thing’s sure: Reddit’s got her back, and they’re not here for the ex’s nonsense.
This breakup battle over a security deposit reveals the real cost of love gone sour—time, effort, and emotional energy. The OP’s stand against her ex and his mom’s threats sparks a bigger question: when do you fight for what’s fair, and when do you walk away? Have you ever faced a post-breakup money dispute or family meddling? Share your stories—what would you do in her shoes? Let’s unpack this drama and find the line between justice and letting go.
