My dad wants me to forgive my brothers wife because she’s FaMily AIW?

A cozy café hummed as Emma savored her latte, her heart lifted by her newfound half-brother, Allen. Their bond was instant, a missing piece found after 27 years. But Allen’s fiancée, Sally, cast a shadow with her jealous edge, threatening to unravel this joy. Emma’s Reddit tale spills a saga of betrayal and defiance, leaving readers hooked. Can family survive such calculated cruelty?

Sally’s actions at Emma’s sister’s wedding sparked outrage, and her father’s plea to forgive for “family” tests Emma’s resolve. This clash of loyalty and boundaries begs the question: when does family stop being family? Let’s dive in.

‘My dad wants me to forgive my brothers wife because she’s FaMily AIW?’

When I was 27 my sister and I discovered we have a half brother from my dad. Let's call him Allen. We were absolutely over the moon and couldn't wait to meet him! We finally met Allen and we all developed a very close relationship almost immediately. He was the missing piece we didn't even know we were missing.

Him, my sister and I got together frequently for about a year and got really close. Well, Allen came as a package deal with his pregnant fiancee. Let's call her Sally. Sally gave me red flags since the beginning. Idk what it was about her but she seemed...a little off. Me and my brother weren't able to have one on one conversations around her because she would accuse him of having

Which clearly was an issue in their relationship but im his sister for Christ's sake. She just displayed a lot of jealousy from the beginning. I wrote it off as her being protective over him, not wanting to dislike her from the jump. I mean, here he is getting close to a family that wasn't around his whole life. I can see being protective.

But she showed her personality soon after. So a year later, my sisters wedding was coming up. The wedding was in Chicago, so we knew everyone couldn't be there but she asked my brother if their daughter could be in the wedding and my BIL wanted him as a groomsmen. Allen was so excited and said yes to both. His daughter was the be the flower girl, dresses bought and everything. Allen also went to bachelor's party.

THEN the fiancee strikes. She purposly planned their daughters birthday party the SAME day as the wedding. My brother protested and said,

I mean, how manipulative! And he sadly agreed! He told my sister neither one of them were in the wedding anymore and they weren't even coming to the wedding at all. My sister was so hurt. My sister told him we would celebrate his daughters birthday at the wedding and the fiancee said no.

After that decision was made, the fiancee struck again. My step-moms father was dying. I mean really on his death. But my step mom said her goodbyes to him before flying up to my sisters wedding. She made peace with that decision. The fiancee HAD THE NERVE, to message my step mom and say,

Me and my brother exchanged words after that. I was so livid at his fiancee. He told me it was non of my business. But I'm the only one who would say anything. My step mom didn't want to risk not seeing their daughter anymore and my sister was too hurt to say anything. At the end of the day, we all had a falling out.

Two years later, me and my brother start talking again. His (still) fiancee is trying to add me back on FB and talk to me but I won't budge. She did apologize to my sister for her actions. But to me, I can't forgive that manipulative and mean behavior. My dad said I need to because that's FaMily. But the way she acted and what she did, is not family to me.. AIW?

Family dynamics can be a tightrope walk, especially when new members join the fold. Emma’s clash with Sally highlights a classic case of boundary violations and manipulation. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and clear boundaries” (gottman). Sally’s scheduling of her daughter’s birthday on the wedding day and her cruel message to Emma’s stepmother suggest a need for control, possibly rooted in insecurity over Allen’s new family ties.

From Emma’s perspective, Sally’s actions weren’t just inconvenient—they were a deliberate jab at her sister’s joy. Sally’s jealousy, as some Redditors suggest, may stem from her own stalled engagement, watching Allen’s sister wed while she remains a fiancée. This doesn’t excuse her behavior but explains the spite. Meanwhile, Allen’s compliance raises questions about his role in enabling Sally’s tactics, complicating Emma’s trust.

Broadening the lens, manipulation in families isn’t rare. A 2020 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 15% of family conflicts involve manipulative behaviors, often tied to power dynamics (apa). Sally’s actions fit this pattern, using emotional guilt to sway Allen. For Emma, forgiving Sally risks inviting more toxicity, especially without genuine change.

Dr. Gottman advises setting firm boundaries and communicating needs clearly. Emma could maintain distance while leaving room for Allen to rebuild trust, perhaps through open dialogue about Sally’s impact.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back, and their takes are as spicy as a Chicago deep-dish pizza. From calling Sally a “snake” to praising Emma’s backbone, the community rallied behind her. Here’s a peek at their candid, sometimes hilarious, opinions.

DogFacedManboy − You went 27 years without these people in your life, you’ll be just fine going the next 27+ years without them. NTA

[Reddit User] − DH's SIL was similar. Knowing their father was dying, and asking to see his sons one more time, SIL decided BIL would not be forgiving his dad before she forgave hers. Two days after we visited, FIL died. BIL asked us WHY we didn't tell him what was going on, we pointed out we had told his mom and his wife. They never passed the message along.

SnooWords4839 − You are not wrong; you are holding your boundary and dad can stay out of it.. I'm kind of glad he hasn't married her yet!

atbubbly − You are not wrong. It seems to me her issue is jealousy over your sister being married and her being the eternal fiancé. Think about it, she has a child with your brother but they are still not married and then she has to watch his half sister he’s known a year get married. She did it out of spite, but to spite him.

The step mother going while her father was on his deathbed shattered her b**lshit justification about the birthday party for their daughter on the same day, so she lashed out. She feels sorry now and is doing damage control because she knows she fucked up and made the likelihood of her walk to the altar with your brother slim to none.

Now she is trying to get back in your good graces to say to him “see, your family is good with me now! We can get married!” She’s not a good person and just trying to play an end game. You holding out is messing up her plan. Continue to protect your brother and hold the boundary!

Expensive_Pain_5987 − You’re not wrong. Boundaries are important in healthy relationships. Just because someone is “family” doesn’t mean they can walk all over your boundaries. I would keep this person at a distance.

Aggressive_Rice5167 − I mean the brother must be seeing the red flags too and maybe can’t admit to it yet or why is she still his fiancée?

AstronautNo920 − You are not wrong hope he never marries her

Fun_Concentrate_7844 − All that family talk is bs. Treat people the same as they treat you. Blood or not.

StateofMind70 − Make up so what? She can s**ew you over again? No way. Keep your distance- she's a snake waiting...

ShelbiLee − Not wrong. Tell Dad if family is so important how come she gets to be rude, petty, and cruel without any consequences? How come you were 27 before you found out you had a half brother? Dad kept him hidden all those years? If so he set the example on how to treat FaMily didn't he.

But are these Reddit roasts the full picture, or is there more to Sally’s story? One thing’s clear: the internet loves a good boundary standoff.

Emma’s saga leaves us pondering the weight of “family” versus the cost of forgiveness. Sally’s apology to Emma’s sister might signal regret, but Emma’s wariness feels earned. Blood doesn’t always mean bond, and sometimes holding a grudge is holding your ground. What would you do if a family member’s actions crossed a line? Drop your thoughts below—have you ever faced a Sally in your life, or are you team “forgive for family”?

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