My bestfriend [25/f]cheated on her boyfriend with our boss[40/M], now I’m on a work trip with his wife. I want to tell her. What would you do?

Picture a bustling airport terminal, suitcases rolling, and two coworkers chatting over coffee, unaware of the storm brewing beneath their small talk. One woman, new to her job, carries a heavy secret: her best friend slept with their former boss, whose wife is now her travel companion. The wife’s warm stories of her husband clash with his cruel words from the past, painting him as a cheater and a liar. Caught in a web of loyalty and guilt, the coworker wrestles with a burning urge to spill the truth.

This messy tale of infidelity and workplace ties unfolds with high stakes—risking drama, friendships, and even a job. It’s a classic moral tug-of-war, where silence feels like betrayal, but speaking up could unravel everything. The story pulls readers into a whirlwind of emotions, where trust hangs by a thread and secrets threaten to spill.

‘My bestfriend [25/f]cheated on her boyfriend with our boss[40/M], now I’m on a work trip with his wife. I want to tell her. What would you do?’

My best friend and I used to work at the same place and while we were there, she cheated on her boyfriend of 5years with our mutual boss. She didn’t tell me this until after I quit. Now, I work with his wife at a different company and we’re on a work trip together.

While I worked at the company, he constantly talked s**t about her and how much they weren’t a good fit. Now that I’m spending time with her, she speaks highly of him and how she loves him, leading me to believe she doesn’t know he’s a piece of s**t.

I can’t risk causing drama at work and losing my job, but I want to tell her anonymously. I hate that she doesn’t know who her husband really is. I’ve told my friend she needs to fess up, but she won’t. I feel like I’m awkwardly caught in the middle and have no idea what to do. Would you tell her?

Infidelity is a gut-punch, and this woman’s dilemma highlights the ripple effects of betrayal. Dr. Shirley Glass, a noted psychologist, wrote, “Secrecy is the glue that holds affairs together”.

The coworker’s urge to tell the wife stems from empathy, but her hesitation reflects the real fear of workplace fallout. Her friend’s refusal to confess and the boss’s disparaging remarks about his wife reveal a tangle of disloyalty and deceit.

The coworker’s loyalty to her friend clashes with her sense of justice for the wife, who seems oblivious to her husband’s character. Infidelity affects countless relationships—studies suggest 20% of men cheat, per the Institute for Family Studies. This situation mirrors a broader issue: the bystander’s burden in exposing betrayal. Dr. Glass advises discretion but emphasizes that protecting someone’s health and dignity often outweighs silence.

An anonymous tip, like an email, could inform the wife without direct confrontation, preserving the coworker’s job. Dropping a friend who justifies cheating might also shield her from future guilt by association. Navigating this requires balancing empathy with self-preservation, a tightrope walk in any workplace drama.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit users rallied with fiery opinions, uniting in their disdain for cheaters and their enablers. The consensus urged the coworker to inform the wife, ideally anonymously, to protect her health and dignity while avoiding workplace drama.

Many condemned the best friend’s actions, suggesting the coworker distance herself from someone who shows such disregard for others. Some emphasized the boyfriend’s right to know, while others warned of potential job risks, reflecting the tricky balance of morality and practicality.

dLimit1763 − Send an anonymous email so she doesn't hate you for telling her.

pepper701 − I was cheated on. People knew, no one told me.. Please tell her! We deserve to know who we are with. Your friend’s boyfriend also deserves to know!

WrastleGuy − Your best friend is a POS, I would tell her bf and the wife and then kick that girl out of your life.

seaxvereign − 1. Tell the wife. 2. Tell the boyfriend. 3. Jettison the 'best friend'. 4. Be prepared to find a new job **Edit:** To add, if I was in a relationship with you and I found out that your best friend is a cheater, I would d**p you immediately. Staying friends with this girl will cause you to become guilty by association.

Time-Demand4140 − Personally? I would tell her. I am a girls girl through and through, and I see no reason to protect homewreckers or cheaters.

D_Jayestar − I'm confused. You were okay not telling your best friend's significant other, but now it's all good to tell your ex boss's wife!?

AlphaIota − Tell her anonymously. And lose the best friend.

WritPositWrit − Do not tell her unless you can prove it. Because that’s the first thing I would ask for if a new coworker I barely know came up with this story.

clearheaded01 − OP.... Tell her... she doesnt deserve this - and you dont want to be complicit in this!!. If YOU were the one with a cheating spouse - what would you want??. Tell her. And tell 'bestfriend's BF...

Nikkita8223 − Yes you should tell her. If you are concerned about the risk of being fired, do so anonymously. Create a different email and send it to her. Given that her husband has been talking s**t about her, and your friend and him work at the same place, chances are high that others at the company at least suspect an affair.

She needs to know, for her own health and wellbeing. Who knows how many others he has banged, and what diseases he can be giving her. Also, I’d drop that friend. I could never be friends with someone who knowingly was an affair partner. It shows a lack of respect and empathy for others. It also makes them untrustworthy.

This sticky situation lays bare the cost of secrets—broken trust, strained friendships, and workplace tension. The coworker’s instinct to protect the wife clashes with the risks of speaking out, a dilemma that resonates with anyone who’s held a tough truth.

Whether through an anonymous note or a hard look at her friendship, her next step demands courage. Share your experiences below—how would you handle being caught in this kind of moral crossfire?

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