My (37M) ex-wife (30F) is about to be homeless and has asked to live with me and my son.

Three years after a messy divorce, a single dad thought he’d closed the chapter on his ex-wife’s chaos—until she called with a bombshell request. Picture a 37-year-old man, juggling full custody of his young son, finally finding his footing after a storm of false allegations and betrayal. Then, out of the blue, his ex-wife, fresh off another divorce and teetering on homelessness, asks to crash at his place “just for a few weeks” to chase her YouTube dreams.

Her plea, laced with questionable beliefs and a history of volatility, lands like a grenade in his hard-won peace. This Reddit saga, charged with emotional stakes, dives into the tug-of-war between compassion and self-preservation, pulling readers into a drama where a father’s love for his son faces off against a risky reunion.

‘My (37M) ex-wife (30F) is about to be homeless and has asked to live with me and my son.’

Update: I officially declined. I feel... lighter. Like wow that's a ton of responsibility I don't have to have. I know a lot of you were like 'wow why would you even consider this, you're insane!?' Yes, I am a recovering codependent, and I have a very difficult time setting boundaries and saying no.

I feel strange even saying no. But also, I feel much better. Mad with power, even. Anyway - she did not respond, but she did leave me on read. Thanks for the energy, guys. I appreciate you all.

Edit: getting a resounding \*absolutely not\*, which... makes me feel a bit better, honestly. I mean. I was leaning that way. But I also know that I am deep in the forest, and having an outsider's perspective really helps. Thanks, guys. I am going to to go through and answer any questions I see, in an hour or so.. \----------------------------------------

Well, buckle up, friends, because my life's fever dream is about to get weird. I will be as brief as possible, but I am still trying to figure out what to do here, which is why I am posting. Also, to preface, I am leaning towards no, but I wanted to see if I was missing anything. And - this is wild.. ====== Backstory =======

A brief backstory: 3 years ago, during COVID, my ex-wife, 'Petunia,' cheated on me. We have one young son and have been married for seven years. I tried to work things out, but her mom convinced her she cheated because she was unhappy with me.

It was a very high-conflict divorce, and at first, I made a few bad decisions (trust - letting her have access to our joint bank account). I had a ton of false police allegations against me and CPS calls, so I put everything up to a camera. I walked with a bodycam outdoors. I was utterly self-monitored to avoid allegations.

A week after I put up the cameras, I caught her and her family breaking into my house. Legally speaking, she did not get arrested because we were still married, but it does look bad in court. However, I took my lawyer's advice and the custody my state gives fathers.

Fortunately for me, she fell in love with someone in a European country and handed away most of the rights to my son. Most - as in, I got full custody, but she retained legal custody (i.e., she could pull him out of school or get his medical records, etc.).

My lawyer said this protected me if we went back to court because she would probably win that before, and I would look bad. One year later she is getting divorced a second time and moving in with our mutual friend. The divorce happened about a month ago, and during this time, she has not attempted to visit my son.

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Side note here my lawyer advised me to play it cool, don't antagonize, don't withhold our son. Also, he told me to buy a house (I am in a position to now) and set down roots to make it harder to take him away from me.

Again, our divorce was a high conflict, and I was terrified she would try and take him from me. I am more than willing to allow her to see her son, and I want to do 'The right thing' and let my son grow up happy. Honestly - that's all I care about. Her history says she is highly volatile, and I am concerned.. ======== Current Problem - Here's where I need advice ==========

**I don't want to bury the lede here, so the crux is that she wants to move in for a few weeks until her YouTube career takes off. I am not insane, so I do not have any confidence in said career. I also question her mental health (for reasons listed below). Reddit, wut do?**

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Our mutual friends (a couple with three children) grew tired of Petunia and for a good reason. They assumed she would do the usual thing: get a job and get back up on her feet. They also work very hard and sometimes struggle to get by, so working 10 hours a day to come home to someone doing absolutely nothing is very discouraging.

They gave her a deadline to get out, or they would involve legal matters. That deadline is in a few days. So Petunia has decided to call me and ask if she could live with me for a few weeks. Petunia joined some new-age religion. There is a lot of detail to share here, but I want to leave the tangent manageable.

Instead, I will link you over to The Aetherius Society. She denies it by name, but line-by-line, that's what she believes in. I am religious, so I am careful not to make fun of other religions. It would not be sincere of me to do so.

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But it started with a tarot reading, which led to going onto TikTok, and she believes that she is a Starseed and an ancient alien who came to spread light to the world. It seems like a mix of Paganism, Buddhism, and other spiritual things mashed into one.

I am trying not to rant about reincarnations and talking with aliens here, so I've deleted many paragraphs of the issues I take with it. She thinks she is a chosen being, risen above the masses, and of course, that plays strongly into the ego. Everyone internally wants to feel like they are unique, and believing you are of some royal bloodline feeds into that.

Right now, I am legitimately suspecting mental illness. Our mutual friends tell me that they don't recognize her anymore and that she is being secretive and not letting them know what's happening.

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I'm a single dad with 100% custody and zero support from the other parent. My dating life is also not looking up, but I have a promising career, and we get by. I am incredibly fortunate in a lot of ways. I've been getting a ton of therapy for my codependent behaviors, and I don't need this.

She tells me she will be homeless if I don't take her in. She is not speaking with her immediate family because she moved to another country. If I let her in, though, it will seriously affect my mental health.

What the heck do I do? I am leaning towards calling her bluff and letting her figure it out - though it appears she will never get a job. Would the courts hate that? I am very uncomfortable with this position.

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A father’s instinct to protect his son clashes with his ex-wife’s plea for shelter, revealing a tangled web of boundaries and past wounds. This 37-year-old man’s refusal to let his ex-wife move in, despite her looming homelessness, stems from a well-founded fear: her history of false allegations, break-ins, and erratic behavior threatens the stability he’s built. Her new-age beliefs and refusal to work raise red flags about her mental health, complicating an already fraught co-parenting dynamic.

This scenario underscores the broader challenge of navigating high-conflict ex-partners. Unstable co-parents can disrupt a child’s environment, especially when their actions, like hers, prioritize personal pursuits over responsibility. The father’s codependency struggles make his firm “no” a triumph of self-awareness, prioritizing his son’s safety over guilt.

Dr. Randi Gunther, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Setting boundaries with a volatile ex is crucial to protect children from emotional upheaval.” Here, the father’s decision shields his son from potential chaos.

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Consulting his lawyer to safeguard custody and maintaining supervised visits in public spaces are practical steps. Encouraging readers to share their own boundary-setting experiences can spark supportive dialogue.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit community delivered a unanimous verdict: don’t let her move in. They labeled the ex-wife’s request a recipe for disaster, citing her past allegations, break-ins, and current instability as reasons to keep her at arm’s length. Many praised the father’s instinct to protect his son, urging him to consult his lawyer and install cameras for safety.

Others saw her YouTube aspirations and religious shift as signs of deeper issues, reinforcing that her homelessness is her own responsibility, not his. The Reddit crowd’s resounding “no” echoes the father’s gut, blending outrage at the ex-wife’s audacity with practical advice. Their takes cement the need to prioritize his son’s well-being over her precarious situation.

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tuna_fart − You would be an absolute fool to let her live with you. It will also harm your son. Do not make that mistake.

Sarcastic_Troll − I wouldn't let her live with you. You said there were CPS calls and police allegations. Something happened with the joint bank account. Had to film your entire life for your safety. Hell no. This is not a good idea.

Honestly, I'd call your lawyer and advise him/her on what she's trying to do, that you don't want to do it, and see what s/he says to make that a clear no. Get ahead of any threats now.

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[Reddit User] − 'ton of false police allegations against me and CPS calls'. ​. go no further. Do you want to invite this back into your life? You are not responsible for her.

ProfPlumDidIt − If you let her move in, it will seriously impact your SON's mental health, and not in a good way. If she ends up homeless, it will be solely due to her own bad decisions.

If you want, call your attorney and ask them to be sure you aren't screwing yourself over somehow; if you have any evidence of her insane beliefs, keep it. I can't see the court being upset you don't want someone you feel is genuinely mentally ill living with your child, but ask to be sure.

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lonewolf369963 − Don't let her move in or else you will regret it in more than one way (considering all the details that you have shared).. Consult with your lawyer ASAP. Install cameras in and around your home.. Any communication with her should be recorded or through text/ email

Don't let her have free access to your kid, let her supervise visits in public places only. She can't just walk away and get back to start from where she left, it will impact your child negatively.

Duracoog − If you let her in, she may find the perfect opportunity to accuse you of something against her or, more likely your kid, that could get you kicked out of your house by restraining order. Not in any way worth the risk.

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shelluminati − Hell to the no. Sure she’s the mother of your child but you have no obligation to house her, period. It’s not an amicable relationship with someone you still trust to at least be responsible. It’s clear that this would be detrimental to both you and your son’s lives and likely stability. That’s not fair to either of you. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

Loose-Chipmunk7568 − Dude. No. Just no. Why would you even remotely contemplate this after you had to wear a body camera due to the volume and severity of CPS and Police reports she was making? This woman is insane, and the absolute best thing you can do is protect yourself and your son from her unhinged behaviour.

TempleofSpringSnow − NO. She gets what she gets.

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Regular-Bat-4449 − Not your monkey. Not your circus

This story of a father standing firm against his ex-wife’s plea to move in is a testament to the power of boundaries in protecting what matters most. Her chaotic past and uncertain present clashed with his duty to his son, and his choice to say “no” marked a victory over codependency.

As Reddit cheered his resolve, the path forward shines clear: safeguarding his son’s peace comes first. Share your thoughts below—how would you navigate an ex’s risky request?

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