My (36M) Fiance (34F) left on a work trip which turned out to be a romantic vacation with a fling. She has not yet returned and doesn’t know that I know. Steps to take?

When a man’s fiancée claimed a “work trip,” he never imagined it was a romantic escape with another man, 2,000 miles away in a luxury hotel. Now, with five days before her return, he’s plotting a silent exit from their shared apartment, aiming to leave her infidelity behind in an empty home. Planning to take their dog and avoid confrontation, he faces logistical and emotional hurdles, from lease agreements to heartbreak.

This Reddit tale grips readers with the raw pain of betrayal and the resolve to reclaim control. It’s a stark look at love shattered by deceit, resonating with those blindsided by a partner’s lies. As he prepares to ghost her, the story probes the logistics of leaving and the strength to walk away. Join us in unpacking his next steps and the fallout of her affair.

‘My (36M) Fiance (34F) left on a work trip which turned out to be a romantic vacation with a fling. She has not yet returned and doesn’t know that I know. Steps to take?’

My fiance left on a “work trip” 3 days ago. It turns out that this supposed work trip was actually a romantic getaway with a fling she has had for God knows how long. They are 2000 miles away in a different country and staying at a luxury hotel together. She has absolutely no idea that I know and we have been communicating as if everything is normal.

I had a weird feeling something was going on recently and she made some mistakes in hiding her infidelity. I just found out 2 days ago. I have 5 days before she returns home and I plan on keeping calm until she returns to an empty house. I have another place that I can easily move to and we currently rent an apartment together.

Aside from giving notice with the management at my building that I will be leaving what other steps should be taken? We have a dog as well that we bought together, can I take him away with me legally or will that cause issues for me?

I don’t even know what else I am forgetting to think about here as my mind is going a mile a minute but any additional advice would be much appreciated. I really don’t know if I can have a conversation with her when she gets home. I want to just disappear.

The man’s plan to leave his cheating fiancée without confrontation reflects a protective instinct to shield his mental health from further trauma. Discovering her affair—masked as a work trip—shattered trust, and his choice to ghost her prioritizes emotional survival over closure. Moving out, securing finances, and considering the dog’s custody are practical steps, but legal and emotional nuances demand attention.

Infidelity often triggers profound grief, with 60% of betrayed partners reporting symptoms akin to PTSD, per a 2023 Psychology Today study (source: psychologytoday.com). Dr. Virginia Gilbert, a betrayal trauma expert, advises, “Radical acceptance of the betrayal, clear boundaries, and professional support are key to healing”. His plan to vanish aligns with this, but risks linger—unaddressed emotions or legal oversights could haunt him.

Legal Steps: Consult a family law attorney to understand your rights regarding the lease and dog. In most U.S. states, pets are property, and ownership hinges on adoption papers or primary caregiving evidence (source: divorcenet.com). If co-signed, notify the landlord in writing to exit the lease, or you may remain liable for rent. Separate joint accounts immediately—remove your funds to a personal account and cancel shared credit cards to prevent financial sabotage (source: gavel.io). Document the apartment’s condition with timestamped photos to avoid disputes.

Emotional Advice: Seek a therapist to process betrayal trauma—ghosting avoids conflict but may delay healing. Inform close friends or family for support, but avoid public shaming to prevent legal backlash. Change all passwords and monitor credit for security.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s commenters urged swift, strategic action, blending practical tips with emotional support. From securing finances to warning against confrontation, their advice was fierce and varied. Here’s what the community had to say:

Economy_Rutabaga9450 − When you move out, document all of her property that you have left in the apartment and the condition of the entire apartment so you can prove it is in good order.. Separate all finances and cancel credit cards. Lock down your credit (talk to bank).. Cancel joint subscriptions.. Change ALL your passwords on EVERYTHING (just in case).. Car leases? Phone plans?. Keep copies of all documentation of affair (just in case).

Kooky_Swimmer2521 − Whatever you do don’t confront her when she gets home. If she is crazy enough to pull something like this expect that she will gaslight you like no tomorrow and only make this situation harder. The best step would be to not give her that closure she’s going to desire. Im sorry you are dealing with this.

[Reddit User] − You can take the dog with you as long as you are listed as a co-owner. The only way she would be able to reclaim the dog is if she takes you to court.....or finds a way to dog-nap him/her. You need to get proactive, not reactive. Remember, the person who tells their side of the story last is usually facing an uphill battle trying to get people to believe the truth.

Tell the people who matter to you, friends and family. You need to let them know BEFORE she starts making up a story of breaking up with you because you were abusive/controlling/....or even tells people you were the one who cheated. I've lost count of stories when somebody gets cheated on and the cheater tells their side first......and the victim has a terrible time getting people to believe him of the real reason of the breakup.

In some cases, the victim never gets believed. Related to this, you need to also let your HR at your work know that your fiancee cheated and you want to give them a heads up if she causes any issues with false accusations. Believe it or not, this is common for a spurned ex, even an ex that was a cheater.

Get cameras inside and outside of your new home. If you need it quickly, you can even get nanny cams from a common retail store for the inside of the home.. GET LIFE360 ON YOUR PHONE. This is a tracking app. It shows where you were, how long you've been there, etc. If your ex goes crazy and makes a SA claim against you(which isn't uncommon) the app can help establish an alibi.

Dear_Parsnip_6802 − Take photos of the way you leave the place with time stamps. Separate all bank accounts. Get you name off any combined bills.

squirlysquirel − Def agree with group message including her Say you have discovered the cheating and will not stay in the relationship. Say you have moved and left the apartment for her so she is not homeless.

Say you will not be going ba k or seeing her again...needless to say the wedding is off..  Name the affair partner if you can, gives her less chance to deny. Include a photo of evidence if you can but be careful...no revnege porn or anything similar.. Good luck, sorry she was so awful to you.

NexStarMedia − I LOVE the idea of just disappearing and ghosting her!

Grouchy-Attention-52 − In terms of ownership of the dog, whoever signed the adoption papers has a stronger case. Does she make good money? If she is unable to pay for rent, assuming you are on the lease, you are liable for that as well

SupermarketOk9538 − Don't confront her at home.. Also reveal her cheating to her family and matual friends.. UpdateMw

[Reddit User] − Just leave a note on the counter that says, 'I know.'. That's enough.. Updateme

pumalumaisheretosay − Separate your financials. If you have joint accounts you need to address those. Talk to a lawyer. Take the dog since she is in another country and it needs care and let your attorney tell you how to proceed.

These Reddit voices push for decisive moves, but do they balance heart and head? Or are they fueling a clean break at all costs? One thing’s clear: the internet backs his plan to vanish, urging vigilance to protect his peace and their dog.

This story of a man plotting to ghost his cheating fiancée lays bare the wreckage of infidelity. With five days to execute his exit, he’s reclaiming his life, dog in tow, while dodging a painful showdown. It challenges us to weigh silence against closure. How would you handle a partner’s betrayal? What steps ensure a clean break? Share your advice, experiences, or insights—let’s honor his resolve and fuel the conversation for those navigating love’s ruins, seeking strength to move on with dignity.

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