My (36F) husband (36M) caught lying about seeing another girl; do I end this before he does?

After a whirlwind romance that brought her husband from London to a quiet American suburb, a 36-year-old woman thought their marriage was adjusting to its new rhythm. But months of his late-night WhatsApp chats, emotional distance, and zero intimacy raised red flags. Her worst fears confirmed when a Venmo payment labeled “Damsel in Distress” exposed his lies about another woman, followed by his admission of plans to visit her in Denver.

This isn’t just a tale of infidelity; it’s a raw journey of betrayal and empowerment. The woman, now grappling with his hollow pleas to “fix things,” faces a pivotal choice: stay in a marriage stripped of trust or reclaim her future. Her Reddit post, updated with a gut-wrenching confrontation, captures the pain and strength of standing at love’s crossroads.

‘My (36F) husband (36M) caught lying about seeing another girl; do I end this before he does?’

The husband’s lies—hiding a connection with another woman and planning a Denver trip—aren’t just breaches of trust; they’re a calculated betrayal that leaves his wife questioning her worth. His admission of meeting this woman years ago, while married, and his defensive “Am I not allowed to get on with people?” reveal a chilling ease with deceit. Her resolve to consult lawyers shows a spark of self-preservation amid heartbreak.

This scenario exposes a harsh reality: infidelity often thrives on denial and manipulation. His claim to want to “fix things” while refusing to cancel the trip suggests he’s keeping her as a fallback. Dr. Shirley Glass, a renowned infidelity expert, wrote, “Deceptions, even small ones, erode the foundation of intimacy”. His actions prioritize his desires over their vows, a red flag for deeper issues.

Infidelity affects 20-40% of marriages, with men more likely to maintain secret emotional connections, per a 2023 study (Journal of Marriage and Family). His struggle to adjust to suburban life may fuel his behavior, but it doesn’t justify lying. Her empathy for his transition stops short of excusing betrayal, a boundary she’s right to draw.

She should prioritize herself—gathering evidence, consulting lawyers, and seeking therapy to process the trauma. Glass advises, “Rebuilding trust requires full transparency, which he’s not offering.” Ending contact with the other woman and canceling the trip would be bare minimum steps, but his track record suggests little commitment. Taking control now empowers her to shape her future, whether alone or not.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit brought the fire, with users dishing out blunt truths and rallying cries. From urging her to “lawyer up” to calling out her husband’s backup-plan vibes, the comments are a mix of tough love and sharp wit. Check out the community’s hot takes below—candid, fierce, and unapologetic.

But do these Reddit verdicts cut through the mess, or are they just breakup battle cries? One thing’s sure: the crowd smells a rat and isn’t shy about it.

This woman’s story is a stark reminder that trust, once broken, demands more than empty promises to mend. Her husband’s lies and half-hearted pleas leave her at a crossroads, but her steps toward legal advice signal strength. Whether she walks away or demands real change, her worth isn’t tied to his choices. How would you handle a partner’s betrayal? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep the conversation real!