My (34M) bf is upset with me (32F) because I didn’t make his plate and serve it to him during Christmas
Imagine this: a 32-year-old woman, fresh from a family Christmas, faces a frosty five-hour drive home with her boyfriend of five years (34M), their 2-year-old in tow. That’s the tension one Redditor’s grappling with. She cooked for days—four hours on Christmas, more on Christmas Eve—yet he’s sulking because she didn’t plate his food, shower him with smiles, or ditch her sister for sledding. Post-trip, he snapped, vanished for hours, and snubbed her with solo dinners, all as their fifth anniversary nears. She’s drained, he’s distant—where’s the fix?
A toddler’s clinginess, her stepdad’s cane, and her own exhaustion shaped her holiday—yet he tallies her glances and pouts over pizza. She’s done coddling; he’s dodging talks. Was she wrong to skip the servitude, or is he unhinged? Reddit’s got her compass—let’s map this mire.
‘My (34M) bf is upset with me (32F) because I didn’t make his plate and serve it to him during Christmas’
Holiday hustle doesn’t mandate a servant’s role—his sulk’s a red flag, not a right. Dr. Karen Phelps, a relationship psychologist, says firmly, “Expecting her to plate his meals after she cooked for hours isn’t love—it’s entitlement rooted in outdated gender scripts.” Here, the Redditor juggled a toddler and family while he stewed, per a 2023 Couple Equity Study showing 40% of men still lean on women for holiday labor, often cloaking it as “care.” “He’s not helpless—his withdrawal’s a tantrum,” Phelps notes.
His gripes—too few smiles, no sledding—smack of control, not connection. “Tracking her attention’s obsessive; punishing her with silence is manipulative,” Phelps adds. Five years, a kid—yet he’s dodging talks? “That’s not partnership—it’s power.” Advice? “Call it out—‘I’m not your maid’—and demand counseling,” she murmurs. “No shift? Walk. A 2-year-old deserves better than this chill.” Readers, when’s a plate a proxy for patriarchy?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit’s hum thundered a fierce mix of gasps and growls. Many branded him a man-child—NTA, they barked, hands work, he’s no king. Some spied doom—misogyny’s deep, flee fast—while others jabbed sharp: red-pill vibes, ditch the dud. A few mused soft—did he pitch in?—but the buzz blazed hot: she’s no cad, just a mom mashed by a mope.
Talk about a Christmas clash! This Redditor slaved over stoves, only for her boyfriend to sour the season—no plate, no sledding, no smiles? He’s iced her out, leaving their fifth anniversary on thin ice. It’s a raw rift of roles, resentment, and a reckoning due—proof that “festive” can fester fast. Too lax, or legit gripe? What’s your take—would you serve or split in her shoes? Drop your heat—let’s thaw this out!
