My (33 M) fiancée (29 F) left 6 weeks ago with a goodbye note. Out of nowhere, she wants to fix things, how would you handle this?

Picture a quiet apartment, the kind where dreams of a shared future once hung like cherished photos on the wall. For one 33-year-old man, that home became a hollow shell when his fiancée of eight years vanished, leaving only a note to mark the end of their love. He’d spent years grinding to build a career for them, only to find her gone when he crossed the finish line. Heartbroken, he wept on the cold floor, wondering where it all went wrong.

Now, six weeks later, she’s back, promising love and counseling, claiming she was just lonely. But her late-night calls with “friends” and the sting of her silent departure linger like unwelcome guests. With his family shouting “run!” and his heart whispering “try,” he’s caught in a tug-of-war. Can trust be rebuilt on such shaky ground, or is this a sequel better left unwritten?

‘My (33 M) fiancée (29 F) left 6 weeks ago with a goodbye note. Out of nowhere, she wants to fix things, how would you handle this?’

I was with my fiancée for the last 8 years, engaged for 1. All of my friends and family disliked her. However, she was with me when I had nothing and was nothing. She was the love of my life and although she had flaws, she was perfect for me. I loved her so much but hated living paycheck to paycheck. I wanted a home, a family, a career.

I wanted to be a provider. I decided to change our lives. I spent the last 5 years building and creating a career that could sustain our future forever. But in doing so, I was there less for her. I was under a lot of pressure constantly and just begged her to hang on. I asked her to trust me. The plan was to get married and start our new lives in January.

But it took too long for her. She began talking to more and more male friends. Sometimes staying up late and talking to them on the phone while I slept. She became physically and emotionally distant. I tried to fix things but the harder I tried the further she pulled away. Things kept getting worse until one day I came home to an empty apartment.

She had packed her things, moved money into a separate account, and left me with a goodbye note. I sat on the living room floor and cried that night. And for several nights was absolutely crushed. It was very dark for the first few weeks. The last 5 years of my life all seemed to have been for nothing. I was trying to build a future for US, not for me.

Now it felt as though I was crossing the finish line alone. If I had known this path would cause me lose her in the process, I never would have pursued it. About a week ago she reached out to me and we talked about everything. She said she still loved me and wanted to make things work but just could not be alone anymore.

She claims that nothing ever happened with any of the guys she’d talk to and that they were truly just friends. She says she didn’t have anyone to talk to and was just lonely and miserable. She felt alone in her relationship. She wants to do couples counseling and see if we can make things work. All of my friends and family, who never liked her, claim it’s because of her constant dishonesty.

They say she is not an honest person and are basically telling me to run and never look back. Despite all of the pain she’s caused me, I still love and care for her so much. I tried to fix things many times but she never reciprocated any of my attempts. In fact, when I was at the peak of genuinely trying to be the best man for her that I could, she left me without saying a word.

The day she left, she told me she loved me and to have a good day. As soon as I left, she immediately began packing her things. I just didn’t understand how she could run away like that without saying anything. After 8 years, I don’t even get a face-to-face goodbye? It just felt like the ultimate betrayal. How could someone that loves me, cause me so much pain?

I just don’t understand why try to fix things now, after causing me so much pain? I’m worried about trust and loyalty. How can I ever know if I won’t come home to an empty house again? I just don’t know what’s true and what’s not true anymore. It seems like she has been lying for a while, which is why so many of the people in my life didn’t like her.

They’ve since told me some of the lies she’s told them. Now I wonder, was she lying to me too? Every part of me wants to do counseling and pour everything into making this work. I want her back, I want our old lives back. I will finally have the time to be there again. But everyone is telling me you’re an i**ot!. Has anyone been in this situation before? I genuinely don’t know what to do.

EDIT: Thank you for all of the comments. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you know something feels wrong. I felt that a few times these last few months. Deep down I knew she was unfaithful. I also knew she would never admit it. I’ve always told my friends I have three things that matter to me: respect, honesty, and integrity.

You can get along with anyone if you’re respectful, honest, and carry yourself with integrity. My ex essentially s**t on all my core values. To take her back would be going against everything I stand for. You all confirmed what I knew I had to do but was hoping to get talked out of. Thank you all for giving me the affirmation I needed to GTFO.

Love can feel like a battlefield when trust takes a hit. This man’s story lays bare the cost of ambition and the fragility of connection. Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned relationship therapist, observes, “Betrayal isn’t just about infidelity; it’s about breaking the emotional contract of a relationship” (Esther Perel’s Blog). Here, the fiancée’s departure without a word shattered that contract, leaving the man grappling with doubt.

Her growing distance and late-night chats with others suggest emotional disengagement, a red flag in long-term relationships. Research shows that emotional neglect can erode trust as much as physical infidelity (Psychology Today). The fiancée’s claim of loneliness is valid, but her choice to flee rather than communicate points to deeper issues.

The skepticism from friends and family reflects a pattern of perceived dishonesty, a concern echoed in studies linking trust to relationship longevity. Dr. Perel advises rebuilding through “radical honesty” and accountability, not just apologies. Couples counseling could help, but only if both commit fully.

For the man, prioritizing self-respect is key. Exploring therapy to heal his wounds and setting clear boundaries could guide his decision.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s got no chill when it comes to this drama! The community dished out tough love and sharp insights, with a side of snark. Here’s the scoop:

gringaellie − The grass wasn't greener. You're her backup plan.

potenttechnicality − Listen to your friends and family. She's cruel and she's a liar. The other guys wouldn't put up with her b**lshit. So she's back hoping you'll let her continue to use you.. Tell her that she's done too much damage to repair and wish her luck with her next victim.

clearheaded01 − I just don’t understand why try to fix things now, after causing me so much pain?. The guy she left you for was a dud.. OP.. even IF you accept she hasnt been cheating (she has!) youre correct: you will never know what she will do next time she feels restless. Dont do it to yourself you will regret it forever. She will never be a safe partner for you.

forest1000 − Be no one’s second choice. There’s someone better than her for you.

LumpyOrganization450 − She claims that nothing ever happened with any of the guys she’d talk to and that they were truly just friends.. What?!. She says she didn’t have anyone to talk to and was just lonely and miserable. So she struck out finding a new/better sucker to leach off of.. Listen to your friends and family.

nuggets256 − Are your friends and family correct that she's dishonest? I would be very skeptical about her story that she did nothing with any of the guys she was talking to in those six weeks. If she was willing to test the boundaries of your relationship why would she suddenly stop when she left you? I would hesitate to get back with her for the reasons you're aware of, trust is hard to build and harder to rebuild. How would you ever be sure she wouldn't repeat leaving you?

ConIncognito − If all of your friends and family don’t like your partner they’re seeing something that you don’t and you should listen to them. She wants to come back because it didn’t work out with the new guy. Once she finds another new guy she’ll be gone again. Block her and get your locks changed asap.

WildlyUninteresting − This who situation happened from your fear of being alone. Not from a good choice in choosing her. Even now. You don’t own working hard for yourself to build a life for yourself but it’s still fixating that it must be for her. Your family knew from the start she was a bad choice. Let yourself be single for several months and stop talking to her.. Start over dating others. You now have more to offer that you felt you lacked before.

cassowary32 − Do not let her back in. It sounds like you dodged a bullet when she left of her own volition. Whatever plans she had fell through. Yes, she's lying to you too. Please listen to your family and friends. It's not a virtue to hang on to a bad relationship because of 'love'.

[Reddit User] − Let her go. Grieve what was. And move on. You have a new career, more financial freedom, and a fresh start to look forward to. Bettering yourself is never a waste. When everyone else around you can see the red flags except you, it is because you are not in a confident, mentally stable place.

You exhibit a lot of signs of unhealthy dependence. There was a unanimous agreement that this person sucked. Yes, focusing on your career took a toll on your relationship, but she also treated you like crap and is now blaming *you* for her actions.

'You weren't there for me, so I pursued other guys, lied about a ton of stuff, and dumped you in the most cowardly way possible'. She is only coming back because she's realized being an almost 30 year old woman on the dating scene is not fun. She might never meet someone else who tolerates her bullsh*t lying.

And now that you have the means to get a better job, she maybe regrets letting go of her meal ticket. Do not get back together with this woman, get angry. Hold your head high, go get a great job, reconnect with your friends and family, get some hobbies, and find a partner who actually respects you.

These hot takes are spicy, but do they nail the truth? Or are Redditors just tossing shade from the sidelines?

This man’s saga is a stark reminder that love doesn’t always play fair. His fiancée’s exit left scars, and her return feels like a plot twist nobody asked for. With a new career and a fresh start in his pocket, he’s at a crossroads: dive back into love’s deep end or keep swimming solo? Trust is hard-won and easily lost—can they rebuild it? What would you do if love came knocking after breaking your heart? Drop your thoughts below!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *