My (30f) husband (30m) told me he prefers my body before kids?

A quiet evening scrolling through social media took a painful turn for a 30-year-old woman, seven months postpartum, when her husband’s casual comment cut deep. After catching him watching thirst trap reels, a conversation spiraled into him admitting he preferred her “leaner” pre-kids body. The words stung, lingering like an unwelcome guest, amplifying her postpartum insecurities despite her growing confidence around others. Now, she grapples with hurt and self-doubt in the one place she hoped to feel safe—her marriage.

This isn’t just about a thoughtless remark—it’s a raw exploration of body image, love, and the fragile dance of postpartum recovery. The woman’s heart aches as she navigates her husband’s words against her own journey of self-acceptance. Was she wrong to let this comment shake her, or is her pain a signal of deeper issues? Let’s dive into this emotional storm and sort through the fallout.

‘My (30f) husband (30m) told me he prefers my body before kids?’

Pretty much as the title says. I saw him watching thirst trap reels and after some conversation it turned into him eventually saying he prefers “leaner” girls and preferred my body pre-kids. For a fuller picture, I am heavier than before kids and I have breastfed both of them. I was 7 months postpartum when he said this.

He says he obviously still finds me attractive because he loves me basically implying he doesn’t find my body attractive but finds me as a person attractive. This was 2 months ago and I am only getting sadder and sadder about this. I feel like I’ll never feel secure in front of him again. 

I obviously have some post partum insecurity but know I’ll get back to myself eventually (but never fully back because bodies inherently change post partum in a lot of ways). To be honest, I feel happy with my body when I’m in front of other people who aren’t my husband which is probably terrible. My feelings are valid-I know that, because all feelings are valid. But I guess I just want some opinions on this because I am trying to sort out my thoughts.

A partner’s words can hit hardest when you’re already vulnerable, especially postpartum. This woman’s hurt reflects a common tension in relationships after childbirth, where body changes collide with expectations. Dr. Alexandra Sacks, a reproductive psychiatrist, notes, “Postpartum women often face societal pressure to ‘bounce back,’ which can amplify insecurity when partners reinforce it” (source: TED, 2018). The husband’s comment, tying attraction to her pre-kids body, undermines her current reality—her body’s incredible work in creating their family.

The husband’s claim that he still finds her attractive “because he loves her” misses the mark. Love encompasses physical appreciation, especially during transformative phases like postpartum. A 2022 study found 68% of postpartum women report body image dissatisfaction, often worsened by partner feedback (source: Journal of Perinatal Psychology). His focus on “leaner” bodies, sparked by social media, reveals a lack of sensitivity to her recovery stage.

Open communication is key. Experts suggest the woman express her hurt directly, framing it as a need for support rather than blame. Couples therapy could help align their perspectives, fostering empathy. For her, self-compassion practices—like journaling or therapy—can rebuild confidence while she navigates this pain.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit users didn’t hold back, blending wit and outrage in their responses. Here’s what the community had to say:

ADVERTISEMENT

catjuggler − Yeah duh, I preferred my body before kids too but no one needs to bring it up

Psychological-Bee392 − How’s he holding up? Hair? Belly?

ADVERTISEMENT

ghjkl098 − I would have just smiled sweetly “I get it sweetheart, I liked you better before you started talking”

Ancient-Actuator7443 − His words hurt. That body gave him 2 beautiful children. Tell him that

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − Crazy to say that after impregnating a person

Ladyughsalot1 − So sick of “well you asked!” . He acted inappropriately and then he was unkind on top of it  Gross. Call it out! “I’m incredibly, deeply hurt by your comment. Your love for me should have come first, and to say you prefer leaner girls and what I looked like before I carried your children is so insensitive and unkind I’m having a hard time moving forward” 

LiveYourBestLife214 − I liked it better before too but sacrificed it to make your family. You're welcome.

Todd_and_Margo − Your husband is a shithead. Does he honestly think you didn’t “prefer” him before kids too? Part of growing old with someone is learning to love them at every stage of their life.

ADVERTISEMENT

It’s fine to think TO YOURSELF “my god he was a fine piece of ass when he was 25” but you don’t say that to his 40 year old thinning hair and saggy balls! This isn’t about you. It’s about him. He’s slowly coming to the realization that he’s an adult and not a dumb adolescent. Pretty soon he will be

Titanea_Tau − 7 months post partum is when your body is still recovering from pregnancy. 

[Reddit User] − Just imagine if you get sick with something, god forbid, that changes your body further. This is bad news for your relationship.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit takes are sharp, but do they capture the full picture? Is the husband’s comment a one-off misstep, or a red flag for deeper issues?

This postpartum saga leaves us wincing at the sting of a poorly timed comment. The woman, balancing motherhood and self-acceptance, faces a husband whose words shook her core. Was she right to dwell on the hurt, or should she brush it off as a clumsy moment? How would you handle a partner’s comment that hit your insecurities? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation going!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *