My (29F) Husband (30M) is no longer attracted to me so I don’t want him in the delivery room anymore.

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

A few weeks from welcoming their first child, a 29-year-old woman and her husband, Andrew, face a shattering moment. Once a supportive partner, he confesses he’s no longer attracted to her, citing her pregnancy weight gain and shift to a sedentary lifestyle.

Devastated, she rethinks her plan to have him in the delivery room, fearing his presence during her vulnerable moment could deepen their rift. Shared on Reddit, her story unveils a raw clash of love, body image, and fairness, tugging at the heart of their growing family.

‘My (29F) Husband (30M) is no longer attracted to me so I don’t want him in the delivery room anymore.’

Throwaway account because my friends and family know my main. My husband Andrew and I are expecting our first child in just a few weeks. It was an unexpected pregnancy but we’re both excited and welcome this new chapter in our lives. We’ve discussed it prior that he would be present in the room with me as my support person.

Some context He has always been very sweet and caring. It took a little bit of communication and adapting to each others needs, but he’s now very very supportive and always makes sure my needs are met.

I was more than happy with him being in the delivery room with me during what I’d consider one of the scariest times of my life and wanted him to experience seeing his daughter take her first breath. This was before our conversation last night.

My husband and I have been on a bit of a decline in terms of our s** life. It used to be good when we first started dating, and I thought we were s**ually compatible, however, within the last year, it has done a 180. At first, he blamed it on stress, then finances, then his health, and I believed it all of it.

I recommended things we could do to improve that or ways I could help lighten his load, but he assured me, he’d work on it himself. It never got better - in fact, it kept declining. We had another talk last night about this as I told him I was starting to feel like we were friends more than lovers and that’s when he confessed - he was no longer attracted to me.

It had to do partly with me gaining a bit of weight during the pregnancy, but mostly due to my lifestyle changes. When we first started dating, I had a lot more free time to take care of my body and weight. I was 5 4”and 115lbs. Curvy in all the right places and would get constant attention from men when I was single.

We moved in shortly after dating, and I guess my priorities had changed, because now I had to work full-time 9-5, sometimes weekends, picked up a side gig and also did 90% of the cooking and cleaning at home.

I had no time to prioritize the gym or working out and gained 10lbs since moving in and 30lbs since becoming pregnant (which I expect to lose most of after giving birth). Through all the tears last night during our conversation

I told him I would work on prioritizing my health and the gym again, and would make time to take care of my appearance so he was happy. However, when I mentioned that I didn’t want his view of me to change even more, so I think it’s best if he wasn’t in the room with me as I gave birth, he was extremely upset and disappointed.

I told him giving birth wasn’t a spectator sport and I wanted him there initially because I felt supported by him and comfortable with him seeing me at my most vulnerable - crying, screaming, projectile shitting lol.

Now that I know he’s no longer attracted to me, I’m willing to work on that, but I don’t think him seeing me in that way would help our s**ual relationship at all. Should I suck it up and let him in the delivery room even though I think it would affect how he views me?

EDIT TO ADD: For those wondering why I work so much if my husband earns as much as he does.. My workload is just very heavy that sometimes I will need to work on the weekends to meet deadlines. I’m not choosing to work extra shifts to make ends meet.

My side gig is a personal project of mine that, although doesn’t bring in much, is full filing to me and I would like to one day grow it into a full time opportunity. For now though, I have to put in a few hours here and there, but it does add up.

EDIT TO ADD AGAIN: I want to clarify that the main issue isn’t just the numbers on the scale, but the lifestyle change. When we met, I was very active (going to the gym, sports, eating very healthy etc) and that was a turn on for him.

The issue is now that I don’t have much time for those things, he doesn’t find me attractive anymore because I live a pretty sedentary lifestyle. I don’t have the energy or time to put towards prioritizing my health and wellness like I used to which led to the weight gain and it was a bit of a wake up call for me.

I’m making these changes for me and the baby as well, not just for my husbands, but seeing all these comments regarding the household divide has me second guessing what fair contributions to our household looks like. 

I’ll be sitting down and speaking with him about redividing our tasks so it’s fair to the both of us and we each have time to spend on ourselves. :) Him being in the delivery room will be dependent on how that conversation goes as well but I’ll be prioritizing my comfort above all during the birth!!. Thanks for your advice, everyone!

Pregnancy is transformative, but this woman’s story reveals how a partner’s shallow perspective can fracture trust. Her husband’s admission that he’s unattracted due to her weight gain and lifestyle changes—while she juggles work, a side gig, and most household chores—ignores her sacrifices. Her decision to reconsider his delivery room presence reflects a need to protect her emotional safety during a vulnerable moment.

Shifting attraction in relationships isn’t uncommon. A 2021 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 30% of couples experience attraction challenges during pregnancy, often tied to unrealistic expectations. Dr. Sue Johnson, a couples therapist, notes, “Love requires seeing your partner’s efforts, not just their appearance” . His focus on her body over her contributions dismisses this principle.

Her workload—full-time job, side gig, and 90% of chores—highlights a broader issue: unequal domestic labor. This imbalance, coupled with his conditional attraction, risks resentment. Her plan to redivide tasks is a step toward fairness, but his willingness to share the load will be telling. The delivery room choice hinges on her comfort, not his entitlement.

Prioritizing her well-being is crucial. Couples therapy could help address his superficial views and their communication gap. She’s wise to focus on her health for herself and the baby, not just to appease him. A supportive birthing environment, whether with a friend or doula, can ensure she feels safe. Her strength in setting boundaries signals a path to reclaiming agency.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit community rallied behind the woman, condemning her husband’s superficiality and lack of support. Many called his attraction loss over normal pregnancy weight gain shallow, arguing that true love embraces a partner’s changes.

Commenters criticized the unequal household divide, noting that his minimal contribution exacerbates her stress and limits her self-care time. The consensus urged her to prioritize her comfort in the delivery room and reevaluate the relationship, emphasizing that his behavior reflects a lack of respect and partnership unfit for parenting.

cotton_tampon − Why are you having a child with someone who only does 10% of the household chores?

mutherofdoggos − A man who “loses attraction” when his *pregnant wife* gains 40lbs never loved her to begin with. I will die on this hill, no one can convince me otherwise.. If his attraction is *that* fickle, he does not love her. A man who lets his pregnant wife do all the cooking and cleaning, while she also works full time, isn’t a man at all. He’s a leech.

Your husband sucks OP. Focus on your health for you, but also focus on if this is the man you really want to spend your life with. Are his selfish, lazy, shallow tendencies really the example you want set for your child? What is your husband going to do to make you comfortable with him witnessing your life threatening medical event?

What is he doing to support you and restore your confidence in his love for you? These comments are wild. He put himself in this situation. He needs to do *something* to get out of it.

toasterchild − There is no way that with normal aging and hormone changes that you will maintain the exact perfect body you had when you met without putting yourself through some very questionable practices. He needs to adjust himself mentally or he needs to stay out of LTRs.

People age and very few will stay perfect forever. We aren't talking about someone gaining 100 or even 50 lbs here this is some seriously fickle s**t, you have valid reasons not to feel safe in this realtionship anymore.

Ok_Earth_2118 − so you gained a normal amount of weight for just regular life and pregnancy and he's no longer attracted to you? ugh i wish you weren't pregnant so you could just leave him. a NORMAL weight gain is what caused all of this ? does he still look like when yall met, has he started balding yet? is HE even a 'healthy' weight?

Why would he need to be in the delivery room seeing you at your most vulnerable, where you actually will look like crap, when he's not even attracted to you while you're carrying his child. get your mom, bestfriend or somebody else you trust to be in the room with you

effusive_emu − Ten pounds is nothing, most men can't even notice such a small weight change. And why the heck are you having to work two jobs and do ninety percent of the housework since living with him?. All that is to say, your feelings are valid and I wouldn't want him in the delivery room either.

Neonatalnerd − I find it so strange the 'question' is whether or not he should be in the delivery room. I hate to say it? But you're on the road to being a single mom. And honestly, you will be better off without him, written by a single mum.

A relationship without a child even, that stresses you financially with overworking yourself - that you can no longer even take care of yourself - is not a relationship you want to be in. I promise you, if you're doing all the cooking and cleaning now; things will NOT change once you've had this child...

He will not help you with your child or parenting, if he can't handle taking care of himself now and expects you to manage everything else. I am sorry to say this, but you need to self reflect here on this entire situation.

You and your child deserve better, and to be happy. Please don't stay in unhappy relationships for the sake of a child. Please please take time for yourself and focus on you and baby - not this man.

ErnestBatchelder − So, wait. Through tears he gratefully nodded *you fat pregnant slob you must work 2 jobs, continue to do the majority of the housework, raise a newborn and get your ass back to the gym*, and you gratefully thought- yes! My prince will love me again.

If your turd of a husband was aghast that through a difficult job schedule and caretaking his every need (90% of the household tasks!!) you failed to remain the same physical shape

Then he should have started lifting some of his dead weight around the house. None of this is going to get better for you after your baby is born. I'm sorry but this sounds like someone with conditional love who wants his bang maid to stay 25 forever.

[Reddit User] − You are carrying his child and he's no longer attracted to you because you've gained a bit of weight? What an ass. You're growing a new human inside your body. I think you have bigger priorities than looking super sexy right now. It sounds like you know what your priorities are and he doesn't.

I understand your logic around not wanting him to find you even less attractive. But if that happens, then this guy is not a keeper, regardless of the fact that he's your baby's father.. Can you get couples therapy ASAP?

Neacha − I hate your husband.

Careless_Welder_4048 − Ewwwww. He sucks. You need to stop mothering him and taking care of him and focus on yourself and the baby.

This tale of a pregnant wife grappling with her husband’s fading attraction lays bare the strain of unfair expectations and unequal burdens. Her resolve to protect her delivery room experience and renegotiate household roles reflects a fierce commitment to self-worth.

As she navigates this pivotal moment, the Reddit chorus cheers her strength. Have you faced a partner’s shifting views during a life-changing time? Share your stories below and let’s explore the balance of love and respect!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *