My 26M husband wants a divorce but wants to stay with me, 26F. We’ve been married 6 years and have a 4yr old son. Thoughts or advice?
Six years of marriage, a 4-year-old son, and a two-year separation define the turbulent journey of a 26-year-old woman and her 26-year-old military husband. After relentless fights and his initial push for divorce, she moved back to her parents’ home, grappling with mental health struggles.
Reconciliation efforts brought them closer, but his latest proposal—divorce yet stay together for “love” and financial protection—leaves her reeling. Suspecting manipulation and haunted by his possible infidelity, she chooses to file for divorce. Shared on Reddit, her story of heartbreak and resolve unveils a mother’s fight for clarity and self-worth.
‘My 26M husband wants a divorce but wants to stay with me, 26F. We’ve been married 6 years and have a 4yr old son. Thoughts or advice?’
Marriage should foster security, but this woman’s story exposes how manipulation can masquerade as love. Her husband’s suggestion to divorce yet remain together, citing financial protection and custody assurances, raises red flags, especially given their history of conflict and his possible emotional infidelity. Her decision to file for divorce reflects a reclaiming of agency after years of emotional turmoil.
Trust issues often persist in volatile relationships. A 2021 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 45% of couples with a history of separation struggle with trust, particularly when one partner prioritizes self-interest. Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Proposals that mix commitment with detachment often serve one partner’s agenda, not mutual love”. His insistence on divorce to safeguard assets and ensure custody suggests strategic positioning, not genuine care.
Her trust issues and paranoia, while challenging, stem from legitimate betrayals—his failure to support their son, emotional distance, and suspected cheating. His claim that divorce will “prove” his love contradicts the emotional security she craves. Her shift from fighting for full custody to agreeing on shared time shows growth, but his mixed signals risk destabilizing their co-parenting future.
To move forward, she should consult a divorce lawyer to secure fair child support and custody terms, prioritizing her son’s stability. Therapy can help her heal from manipulation and rebuild confidence, especially given her mental health struggles. Setting firm boundaries with her husband—limiting contact to co-parenting—will reduce confusion. Her choice to prioritize herself and her son signals strength, but legal and emotional support will be key to sustaining it.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the woman’s decision to file for divorce, viewing her husband’s proposal as manipulative and self-serving. Commenters criticized his attempt to dodge financial responsibilities while keeping her emotionally tethered, pointing to his military status and past failure to support their son as evidence of financial abuse.
Many urged her to secure a strong lawyer to protect her and her son’s rights, emphasizing that his “stay together” plan likely masks intentions to pursue other relationships without legal consequences. The consensus celebrated her resolve to move on, affirming that she and her son deserve a healthier future.
This tale of a mother choosing divorce over her husband’s manipulative divorce-and-stay plan reveals the cost of broken trust in a fractured marriage. Her strength in prioritizing her son and herself shines through years of pain and confusion.
The Reddit chorus cheers her liberation, urging a clean break. Have you faced a partner whose words and actions clashed, muddying love’s path? Share your stories below and let’s explore the journey to clarity and healing!
