My (25F) husband (27M) wants me to lose more weight before we try to get pregnant. How do I move forward?

In a cozy home filled with dreams of parenthood, a 25-year-old woman’s heart sinks as her husband sets a surprising condition for their baby plans. Having already shed 25 pounds to reach a healthy 130, she’s ready to try for a child. But he insists she hit 120 pounds first, claiming it’s about attraction. His words, though kind, sting, casting a shadow over their loving marriage.

This isn’t just about a number on a scale; it’s a clash of expectations, self-worth, and trust. Her efforts—daily workouts, a balanced diet—aren’t enough, and the goalpost keeps moving. As she grapples with her desire for a baby and fear of disappointing her husband, readers will feel the weight of her dilemma. Get ready for a story of love tested by control and the search for mutual respect.

‘My (25F) husband (27M) wants me to lose more weight before we try to get pregnant. How do I move forward?’

This weight-focused standoff reveals a troubling dynamic in an otherwise loving marriage. The husband’s fixation on his wife reaching 120 pounds before pregnancy isn’t about health—she’s already at a healthy BMI. Dr. Susan Pease Banitt, a therapist specializing in relationships, says, “When partners impose arbitrary physical standards, it often reflects control rather than care” (source). His shifting goalposts (from 155 to 130, now 120) suggest a deeper issue, possibly about his own insecurities or ideals.

Body image pressures in relationships are real—a 2019 study in Body Image found 62% of women feel judged by partners for their weight (source). The wife’s history of constructive talks shows her willingness to compromise, but his insistence risks eroding her self-esteem, especially as pregnancy and postpartum changes loom. Her fear of disappointing him echoes your past experience with friends’ criticism over clothing choices, where you balanced others’ expectations with personal values.

Dr. Banitt advises, “Set boundaries and prioritize mutual goals.” The wife could say, “I’m healthy and ready to start our family. Can we focus on our shared dream instead of my weight?” Couples therapy could help unpack his motives and rebuild trust.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out fiery takes and tough love. From calling out manipulation to urging therapy, here’s what the community had to say:

Reddit’s got a point, but is it the full picture? One thing’s certain: a husband’s love shouldn’t come with a scale.

This story of a wife caught between baby dreams and her husband’s weight demands reminds us that love should lift, not limit. Her healthy efforts deserve celebration, not conditions, and open dialogue could realign their goals. Have you ever faced a partner’s unexpected demands? How did you navigate love and personal boundaries? Drop your stories below and let’s unpack this together!