My (24f) boyfriend (31m) got trashed at a wedding where I was the MOH, embarrassed me and himself, proceeded to lie about some things too.

In the glow of a wedding’s fairy lights, a 24-year-old woman stands poised as maid of honor, her heart full for her best friend’s big day. But her 31-year-old boyfriend, armed with complaints and a knack for tardiness, turns joy into mortification. Showing up late, pounding beers, and cheering like he’s at a rock concert, he caps the night with a flimsy lie to ditch early. Her Reddit confession spills the humiliation, painting a scene of love tested by disrespect.

This isn’t just a bad date; it’s a wake-up call about respect and reliability. Her story, raw and relatable, captures the sting of a partner’s disregard at a milestone moment. As she weighs breaking up, readers feel her frustration, rooting for a resolution that honors her worth. It’s a tale of red flags waving, with a spark of hope for brighter days.

‘My (24f) boyfriend (31m) got trashed at a wedding where I was the MOH, embarrassed me and himself, proceeded to lie about some things too.’

About a year and a half ago my best friend became engaged to her now husband. I was asked to be the maid of honor and was extremely happy to do so. Over the past year I helped her with whatever needed to be done. Throughout all of this I talked to my boyfriend about it.

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He knew how happy I was for her, he knew that I had a big part in the wedding, he knew my parents would be attending the wedding, he knew everything that I knew about the wedding. He knew the day & time, and what would be expected of him and when he needed to show up.

FWIW, I didn't talk his ear off about the wedding. I would only really talk about it if I had gone, for example, dress shopping or something with my friend. However, last week (a couple days before the wedding) he started to act kinda weird about it.

He said something along the lines of 'I know you don't want to be involved in the wedding, it will be over soon. And then you can forget all about it and everything will be normal again.' I've been nothing but happy and excited for my friend and this wedding.

But, he continued to act like I wasn't having fun and tried to convince me that I hated every minute of helping my friend plan her wedding. Last week he continued talking about the wedding like it was something awful and stupid.

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He treated it as annoying chore we had to do, he complained about having to go. He even asked me after the rehearsal dinner if he could just not go to the wedding at all - keep in mind I had already RSVP'ed for both of us, my parents were expecting him, he just dropped that on me as we were going to bed before the wedding day.

He also never expressed his congratulations towards the bride or groom at any point. The day of the wedding was this past Saturday. I told my boyfriend what time he needed to show up. Lately he has been notoriously late for everything, like several hours late to anything he's invited to - he's always been late, but it's been getting ridiculous.

A lot of times he's late because he is hanging out with one his friends smoking weed and playing video games, and he ends up losing track of time. I didn't want him to be late to my best friend's wedding, so I basically told him he needed to be there 3 hours earlier than what was necessary (I told him he needed to be there at 1pm, when in reality he needed to be there before 4:30pm, he showed up around 4:30pm).

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He got there right as cocktail hour started and got drunk, I was told by someone else that he was pounding back the beers as soon as the bartender started to serve alcohol. Then he sat with my parents, and told my mom 'if I didn't come to this thing OP would have killed me.'

Once the bride and groom were announced Mr & Mrs X, my boyfriend loudly cheered and loudly clapped as everyone else did a normal clap. It wasn't a very big wedding so it was weird and awkward when he did this. It stood out a lot and obvious that he was already inebriated. Multiple people looked over at him in a 'wtf' way. I felt awful and embarrassed when this happened.

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After all the photos were taken he found me and told me that his work called and that he needed to go in ASAP. Before the wedding he assured me that he had taken the day off and that his work (he's a bartender) knew he would be at a wedding that day. I knew he was lying to me, but I didn't care at that point.

He left (ubered) to supposedly go to work. When I finally got home around 2am he told me that it turned out that work didn't actually need him and he 'forgot' the name of the venue so he couldn't uber back to it, and that his phone was acting weird and couldn't get a text message to be sent to me.

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He told me how he really wanted to come back to the reception but he just couldn't make it happen. Obviously those were all lies. I feel like his behavior was just a**orrent. I'm so pissed off at him right now, I'm looking at him in a new negative light and I can't stop thinking about how awful he was throughout this whole wedding event.

I know some people act weird about weddings sometimes, but this takes the f**king cake. Is there any coming back from this? I feel like I'm always going to be pissed off about what happened. I don't know if I can forgive him. I've thought about ending it with him because of this. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not.

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I don't think he has any intentions on apologizing. We haven't talked about the wedding that much since this past Saturday. He doesn't think he's done anything wrong. What do I do? Am I crazy to think his actions are god awful?. **EDIT:**

**I did not expect this to blow up like it did. I was wanting to create a throwaway account so my post wouldn't be that noticeable. Oh well, my boyfriend uses reddit but I don't think he goes to the relationship subreddits at all.**

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**Anyway, I've tried most of the comments here and I've been thinking about what you all have said. It's basically confirmed that I need to end things with him. I actually tried to end things with him a couple of hours ago. He doesn't seem to be accepting the breakup. He started to apologize to me about what happened and how he'll try to be better.**

**I'm currently at a friend's house for the night. I brought some things with me that should last a couple of days.** **But I'm really not sure what else to do. Both of our names are on the lease, and he's still at the apartment for all I know.**

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**Thank you for all the help. Reading through the comments basically told me everything I already knew and confirmed for me that I need to d**p his ass. I'll try to post an update in a couple of days.**. **As of now he doesn't seem to want to leave the apartment, so we'll see what happens.**

A partner’s disrespect can dim even the brightest moments, and this woman’s wedding ordeal is a glaring example. As maid of honor, she poured her heart into her friend’s day, only for her boyfriend to tarnish it with tardiness, drunken antics, and lies about work. His pre-wedding grumbling and attempt to skip the event reveal a deeper disregard for her priorities, culminating in public embarrassment and a refusal to own his actions.

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This reflects a broader issue: immaturity in relationships, especially from older partners. A 2023 study found 30% of couples face conflicts over one partner’s lack of accountability, often tied to poor communication or selfishness. His behavior—late arrivals, weed-fueled delays, and manipulative lies—signals a lack of respect, not just for the wedding but for her. At 31, his refusal to grow up is a red flag.

Relationship therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Respect is the cornerstone of love—without it, trust erodes.” His insight highlights her boyfriend’s failure to value her role or feelings, pushing her toward a breakup. Reddit’s push to end it aligns with this, as his late apologies seem more like damage control than genuine change. Her move to a friend’s house shows strength, but the shared lease complicates her exit.

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She should consult a lawyer or landlord to navigate the lease, ensuring a clean break. Therapy could help her process the betrayal and rebuild confidence in setting boundaries. Surrounding herself with supportive friends, like the one hosting her, will ease the transition. Her story underscores that love shouldn’t mean tolerating disrespect—it’s a call to choose partners who lift, not sink, life’s big moments.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit storms in with a collective eye-roll, tearing into the boyfriend’s childish antics. They slam his drunken behavior, loud cheering, and blatant lies as disrespectful, especially at 31, when maturity should kick in.

Many call him a “man-child,” urging her to dump him for someone who values her. Some suspect he sabotaged the wedding out of fear of commitment, while others applaud her for leaving. These takes buzz with outrage and support, though untangling a shared lease demands practical steps.

[Reddit User] − Girl, he sounds like a toddler. You’re a girlfriend not a mother, why are you putting up with this?

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i-Ake − What is he benefit of staying with this guy? He sounds awful. I was really surprised to see that he is *my age* and not also in his early 20s. My boyfriend hates weddings and big parties and a lot of traditions, lol, but he just lets me know. He has GAD so I get it.

We have agreements about which ones are mandatory and which he can skip. He doesn't pull weird manipulations like this. I don't think I could be with someone who jerked me around and lied like that... and he is 31 years old!! That is too old for this s**t, IMO.

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How do you guys even communicate? Mutual affection and respect? My advice is to cut your losses. It will hurt, but I bet you will feel relieved after a while of not having this anchor around your neck. Find someone worth it.

Sudowudoku − He's 31 and acting like this? Trying to manipulate your feelings about your best friend's wedding where you're the MOH? Not wanting to go? Showing up late? Being drunk and disorderly? Leaving early with a pretty lame excuse?

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Then he's not even going to apologize and actively thinks he's in the right (not even embarrassed of his own behavior? Holy s**t, why are you even with him in the first place? How could you even remotely think you were over reacting? Do you really want to be with someone who thinks it's ok to act this way at an important formal event?

Just my opinion but even if event wasn't important to him, as your BF, YOU should be important to him, and he should act accordingly. The way he acted is really telling of what he thinks about you, and about relationships in general

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TheVillianousFondler − Daily stoner here. Letting pot get in the way of your everyday life because you'd rather burn with your buddies than act like an adult is atrocious behavior. I was more responsible than him when I was 19 and smoking $80+ worth of the stuff a week.

I had two jobs and went to college full time and this 30 year old child can't even show up to a wedding where is gf is the maid of honor without being 3 and a half hours later than you told him. F**k the wedding, what he did there was bad enough, but the daily behavior of his that you've described tells me that you're hitching your wagon to the wrong horse

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Bmouk − He purposely did this because he's afraid now you will be expecting a ring. Sounds like one of my husband's fraternity brothers. Was dating a girl for 10 years (long than my husband and I at the time) when she leaned over at our wedding to ask when that would be them.

He told her he didn't know or not for a while and she broke up with him that day. Everyone still talks about it in our friends group, which this couple was not a part of. We will be married for five years this June and she is now married to someone else and pregnant while he is still alone and miserable. Be like that girl and know your worth.

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Miss_Mandy_Martian − Honestly, I’d think you were crazy for *staying* with him after this. He clearly doesn’t have any respect for you, showing up late and drunk is bad enough, but blatantly lying to your face? Na, d**p that loser. He either thinks you’re stupid and you believe him, or he has so little regard for you that he doesn’t care you know he’s lying to you. Either way, he’s trashy as f**k.

beefqueen17 − Wow. He sounds like a complete joke. I would be so beyond pissed off if my s/o did this. It already sucks that you had to basically beg him to go to this wedding when in reality he should have just been respectful and followed through without complaining.

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His behavior at the actual wedding is so immature and disrespectful that I would honestly be surprised if you could continue dating him after this. He doesn't think he did anything wrong? That's a problem. D**p this loser.

Brooklyn_Bunny − Why would you want to continue dating a man child like this? HE’S IN HIS 30’s GIRL!!! his bread is baked - he’s not gonna change. He is a liar, selfish, disrespectful, and IRRESPONSIBLE with terrible manners. This guy is a loser and he’s only going to hold you back.

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SmallSacrifice − How long have you been dating? Have you two discussed marriage? His behavior was horrendous...I don't know if I would forgive it. My guess is that he saw you all happy about the wedding, doesn't want to commit, got scared you would now expect a proposal, and deliberately sabotaged everything because he is a giant, immature d**che canoe.

HandBananasRevenge − He knew how important this wedding was to you, and then proceeded to behave like a boorish lout, and then made up an excuse for leaving early. This is embarrassing behavior at any age, but from a 31 year old, that's just unacceptable.

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You said he arrives late for everything, which shows a clear lack of respect for others' time. Sounds like he's selfish and is unwilling to do things that don't revolve around him.. You are not crazy to think his actions are godawful, because they are.

This woman’s story is a vivid reminder that love should never excuse disrespect. Her boyfriend’s drunken wedding fiasco, from tardy arrival to lying exit, exposed his disregard for her and her best friend’s milestone. Reddit cheers her attempt to break up, a bold step toward self-respect, even as the shared lease looms. Her night at a friend’s house marks a fresh start, fueled by clarity and courage.

Ever had a partner embarrass you at a big moment? Maybe their immaturity clashed with your priorities, or a lie unraveled their true colors. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, not reckless antics. Share your experiences below—what’s the worst partner faux pas you’ve faced, and how did you reclaim your peace?

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