My (23f) fiance (30m) broke up with me over text because I got an oil change.

A routine oil change turned into a relationship apocalypse for a 23-year-old woman. Expecting a joyful weekend with her fiancé after he returned from months away, she was blindsided when he accused her of cheating with his mechanic friend who serviced her truck. His furious calls, threats to toss her belongings, and blocking her on social media erupted into a breakup, leaving her stranded five hours away at work.

This story is a heart-wrenching plunge into betrayal, mental health struggles, and a relationship’s unraveling, pulling us into the chaos of a love lost to paranoia and rage. As she navigates his erratic behavior and Reddit’s stark warnings, we’re left wondering: was this a tragic misunderstanding, or a dodged bullet? Let’s unpack this fiery fallout.

‘My (23f) fiance (30m) broke up with me over text because I got an oil change.’

My fiancé broke up with me over text because I got an oil change, he has blocked me on everything! Advice? My (23f) fiance (31m) broke up with me over text because I got an oil change and has ghosted me. Me and my fiancé have been together for almost 8 years. Living together for 5 of them.

The past year we both took jobs out of town during the week to be more financially secure. He’s supposed to come home every week but instead stays at work for months on end. My truck was well over due for an oil change (like 4K km over due, I know bad) so I literally had to get an oil change that weekend so I could drive to work on the Monday.

His best friend is a mechanic and helps him work on stuff all the time so I asked his friend if he could do it for me, and he did it no problem didn’t charge me. I dropped off my truck at his shop and walked over to my moms down the road to wait then picked up my truck afterwards.

A couple hours after I got home after the oil change my fiance calls me to let me know he’s on his way home (surprise! He doesn’t communicate with me at all) for the weekend. I was thinking oh perfect now he won’t have to do my oil change when he gets home from his 14hr drive.

I saved him some work and that I could spend more time with him. Thought I did a good thing. Oh boy was I wrong. Well I left for work on Monday evening and everything was great! We had a great weekend together, went for breakfast that morning he helped me build signs for our wedding and expressed how excited he was for it.

We’re supposed to get married June 8th. Yesterday everything went up in flames. He calls me at work absolutely ragging calling me every name in the book. Was saying how dare you cheat on me with my best friend. I was completely lost like wtf I never did nor would I never cheat on him.

I literally just got my oil changed on my truck that’s it. He continues to call me repeatedly to yell me. Says we’re over and that there’s no coming back from this. Blocked me on Facebook and Snapchat. Changed his relationship status to single and deleted every photo of me off facebook like I never existed.

He has unblocked me in the middle of the night multiple times to say “ f you “ then blocks me again. I explained to him that I never cheated nor would I ever. I talked to his friend and he said he just told him about the oil change and he was fine when he left his place yesterday.

I’m so lost and confused on what to do! I’m currently 5hrs away from home at my job I don’t know if I should leave now and deal with this or give him a couple days to cool off and realize his mistake. He said that he took all my stuff out of the house ( don’t know how that’s possible as literally everything is mine but the tv and mattress including the fridge and washer and dryer, heaters ect) and put in in the front yard.

I don’t know if he actually did or is all talk, has also threatened to hurt my 2 cats to. He does have some mental health issues so that may be contributing to all of this.. Any advice would be appreciated! I can’t believe I lost an 8 year relationship because I got an oil change. If I would’ve known I would’ve just let it go for another week and gotten him to do it.

When a partner’s reaction to a mundane task like an oil change spirals into accusations and threats, it’s like a warning light flashing on a dashboard. This woman’s fiancé’s explosive behavior—fueled by unfounded cheating allegations and compounded by mental health issues—points to deep-seated issues that shattered their relationship.

His actions, from verbal abuse to threatening her cats, align with emotional manipulation, exacerbated by his untreated mental health struggles. Dr. John Townsend, a psychologist specializing in relationships, notes, “Unmanaged mental health crises can amplify irrational jealousy and control tactics, eroding trust” (Boundaries). The age gap at the relationship’s start—she was 16, he was 23—raises grooming concerns, as Reddit highlighted, suggesting a power imbalance that may have persisted.

This scenario reflects broader patterns of relationship volatility. A 2023 study from the Journal of Clinical Psychology found that 30% of breakups involve untreated mental health issues, often manifesting as paranoia or aggression (Wiley). His recent breakdown at work, including a near-fatal incident, underscores the severity of his condition.

Dr. Townsend advises maintaining distance while he seeks treatment, recommending she secure her belongings and pets with police assistance, as suggested by WomensLaw.org. Therapy, accessible via Psychology Today, can help her process the trauma and rebuild confidence. Given the relationship’s history and his volatility, separation appears wise, allowing her to prioritize safety and independence over reconciliation hopes.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit squad swooped in like a jury delivering a verdict, blending outrage with stark warnings and a touch of dark humor. Here’s the unfiltered pulse from the crowd, crackling with concern.

Poots_in_boots − I highly doubt this is the first time he’s exploded like this over something so ridiculous. Homeboy was 23 going after a 15 year old 🤢. It might hurt now but it’s probably for the best.

[Reddit User] − It sounds like he has been cheating and is using this as an excuse

lecorbeauamelasse − I can’t believe I lost an 8 year relationship because I got an oil change. If I would’ve known I would’ve just let it go for another week and gotten him to do it. Uh. You didn't lose the relationship because you got an oil change, you lost it because your ex is batshit insane,

and you should be grateful you found out now instead of after the wedding - though I suspect you already knew to some extent and were walking on eggshells to keep the peace. Also, you've been with this guy since you were 15 or 16 and he was 22 or 23, he's a f**king creep who preyed on a teenager and you're well rid of him.

Please head back to your home town ASAP, stop in at your local police station and get an escort to your house. If this guy has thrown your stuff out or harmed your animals he needs to be arrested.

chace_thibodeaux − I can’t believe I lost an 8 year relationship because I got an oil change. 8 years?. And you're 23 now?. And he's either 30 or 31 now?

Old-Willingness3622 − I think he cheated and now blaming you

flappysnapper − Ok, I know that you have been with him for 8 years, and I understand change is hard and all that s**t, but ask yourself….. “do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this crazy abusive a**hole?”

DplusLplusKplusM − You're either leaving out the part where he's always been crazy and you've just tolerated it, or this guy's having some kind of psychotic break. If you know his family, which you should if you were planning to marry him, you might let them know you think he needs some help.

But in terms of a June wedding, wow, you've dodged a bullet here. Once he's under control and stabilized he may reach out to try to make amends. But right now you obviously can't be around someone like this because he could be physically dangerous.

Physical_Stress_5683 − In going to make a guess: He was cheating when he was away and found an excuse to make the break up your fault. Also, were you 15 and him 22 when you started dating? Him leaving and blocking you might be a blessing.

Celmeno − You got groomed as a child and are now being abused (at least it's not physically). Run as far as you can from him.

VinnyTonyBones − You dodged a bullet not marrying him. Probably end up on dateline.

Redditors branded her fiancé’s behavior as abusive and “creepy,” pointing to the age gap and his mental instability as dealbreakers. Their calls to run resonate, but do they oversimplify her emotional loss, or nail the urgency? One thing’s clear: this oil change saga has sparked a fierce debate.

This woman’s world flipped when an oil change triggered her fiancé’s rage, unraveling an eight-year relationship marred by his mental health struggles and troubling behavior. His threats and ghosting, now softened by counseling, leave her wisely separated, but the scars linger. Reddit’s cheering her escape, but heartbreak’s never clean-cut. Have you ever faced a partner’s irrational outburst that changed everything? What would you do in her shoes? Drop your thoughts and let’s keep the convo rolling.

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