My (17F) boyfriend (22M) said he will end our relationship if I don’t go to the same uni as him.

In a whirlwind of university acceptance letters, a 17-year-old woman stands at a crossroads, her heart racing with excitement and unease. Her dream school, prestigious and perfectly located, beckons with promise—until her 22-year-old boyfriend drops a bombshell: attend his university or lose him. His jealousy-fueled ultimatum threatens to dim her bright future, but in a flash of courage, she chooses herself, shattering his control and stepping boldly into her own story.

This tale of defiance and self-discovery sparkles with youthful resolve, inviting readers to cheer for a teen who refuses to let love derail her dreams. It’s a vibrant reminder that sometimes, the hardest goodbyes pave the way for the grandest hellos. As her journey unfolds, we’re left wondering: what does it take to prioritize your own path over someone else’s fears?

‘My (17F) boyfriend (22M) said he will end our relationship if I don’t go to the same uni as him.’

University offers here came out today and I got my second preference which is a different university to the one my bf is currently in. We are interested in studying the same course so we would be in some of the same classes if I go to the same university. However, his university isn’t convenient to get to for me and reputation isn’t as good as the one I got offered.

His reasoning is that he worries that I will meet other guys at another university, and wants to be with me. I do love him very much and see somewhat a chance of us being together for a long time so I don’t want to risk that.. What should I do?? Thanks. Edit: I’ve broken up with him and am ready to live my live under my control.

The boyfriend’s ultimatum—choose his university or the relationship ends—reeks of insecurity, waving a red flag over this young woman’s future. Love doesn’t demand control; it nurtures growth. “When someone uses ultimatums, it’s often about power, not partnership,” says Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, in a HuffPost article. The OP’s decision to break up was a masterclass in self-respect.

The boyfriend’s fear of her meeting other men betrays a lack of trust, compounded by their age gap, which can amplify power imbalances. A 2022 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships notes that controlling behaviors in relationships often stem from insecurity, particularly in young adult men. The OP’s choice sidesteps a cycle of manipulation.

This story reflects a broader issue: young women navigating relationships while pursuing education. The OP’s courage aligns with Dr. Orbuch’s advice to prioritize personal goals over possessive partners. For others facing similar pressures, setting firm boundaries and seeking supportive mentors can reinforce self-worth. Counseling, like that offered by university wellness centers, can also help process such breakups.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit squad roared with applause for this teen’s bold move, tossing out quips and wisdom like confetti. From fiery calls to ditch the guy to thoughtful warnings about red flags, these comments are a lively mix of sass and support. Dive in for the vibe!

sugamonkey − Go to the better uni. Never f**k up your education or career prospects for a guy. If you two are meant to be it will work out fine.

anirroq − Thank you everyone for your responses! I never expected so many. An update: I have broken up with him and have completed the first few steps to accepting the offer I was given!!!. Edit: Omg wow thank you for silver and gold!

[Reddit User] − 😂😂😂😂 I'm here two hours after the original post and she already broke up with him.. Good on her though

lifeishardasshit − You are 17 yrs. old... Tell him to f**k off...... Go to the University that you want to go to. He's jealous and insecure.. Much trouble on the horizon if you stay with this guy.

OrangeJews4u − Why is no one pointing out your age? Isn't it weird that you're dating a 22 year old? As a guy myself I am almost certain that he's taking advantage of you because you're younger than him and you probably think 'wow having an older boyfriend is so cool'. It's not, just break up and go to the other uni

WildlifePolicyChick − Your education is far more important than this one guy. And if he really cared about you, he would say the same thing. You got into a good school! And it's convenient! He should be HAPPY for you. Instead, he's threatening to break up. Why? Because he's afraid you'll meet other guys. So it's all about him and his insecurity?

What is he going to do if you do go to the same uni - control who you meet or who you see? NOPE. Please see this as the red flag it is. If it was me, I'd take his ultimatum, break up, and take my Bad Self to my excellent uni and start my awesome life - on MY terms.. Good luck.

Mdschilling94 − TBH it sounds like an ultimatum. And if you let him win this ultimatum, you will have more of these down the line. I'm not sure how long you have been with each other, but it doesn't sound like love from his end. If he is not trying to understand its inconvenient for you,

and you have a better opportunity at the more reputable college, then do yourself a favor and let him know you love him but you aren't going to be living under a thumb. You need freedom as much as anyone. You can't be letting him dictate your life just because he is insecure. That's just not fair and a relationship is a two way street.

duchess_of_fire − Don't decide such an important thing based on a boy. It doesn't matter the reasons he gives you. You need to do what's best for you. Based on his age, shouldn't he be done with school soon? What happens once he graduates? Is he not going to look for a job somewhere?

fallflier − Yeah f**k him lol

tomtallgrass − It is extremely selfish for him to demand you to give up an important opportunity to quell his own insecurities. You don’t want to be in a longer term relationship with someone who will try and control you that. Please go to the school you want to. He’s not worth it.

But do these Reddit cheers hold the key to real-world wisdom? Let’s unpack the hype and see what’s cooking in this tale of independence.

This story lights up the power of choosing yourself, as a young woman swaps a controlling relationship for the open road of her academic dreams. Her courage is a beacon for anyone facing pressure to shrink their ambitions. Have you ever had to defy someone’s expectations to chase your goals? Drop your stories or advice below—let’s celebrate the spark of standing tall and owning your future!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *