AITA for going on vacation a month before my daughter’s due date?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A tropical island getaway sounded like paradise, but for one mother, it became a storm of regret and family fallout. With her 22-year-old daughter Amara facing a high-risk pregnancy and a possible early delivery, the mother chose to join her husband and son on a vacation, leaving Amara behind despite her pleas to stay. When a hurricane stranded them and Amara went into labor, the mother missed the birth, sparking anger from Amara and her sister Katie, who stepped in to help.

This Reddit tale dives into the heart-wrenching clash of family duty and personal plans, where a hurricane wasn’t the only force tearing bonds apart. Amara’s accusation that her mother prioritized a vacation over her safety cuts deep, leaving the mother defensive yet questioning. Was her trip a selfish escape, or an unforeseeable misstep? Let’s unpack this saga of birth, betrayal, and stormy consequences.

‘AITA for going on vacation a month before my daughter’s due date?’

My daughter “Amara” (22F) recently had her first child. I missed the birth and a lot of drama has gone down since. Amara had a difficult pregnancy pretty much from the beginning. Around the 28 week mark, the doctor said she may be able to make it to 40 weeks, but there’s a chance she could deliver early.

We (myself, husband, eldest daughter “Katie” (25F), Amara and son) all had a trip planned to an island around the time Amara would be 36 weeks pregnant. When the doctor told us she may not make it to 40 weeks, Amara chose to stay home as to not risk going into labor on the island.

A little backstory: the father of Amara’s baby isn’t in the picture. She’s doing this alone. The plan was for me to be in the delivery room to support her. She asked me to please stay home from the trip. I said I’d go, but come home if anything changed. Katie decided to stay home with her. My husband and our son headed off on our trip.

Well, then the hurricane hit and all ferries were suspended. That same day, Amara went into labor. We were stuck, no way of getting back to her. Katie was by Amara’s side as she gave birth. There were further complications but thankfully both she and baby are okay!

I got home a few days later and got to meet my granddaughter. Amara barely looked at me. The original plan was for me to stay at her place for a couple of weeks to help her adjust but she told me not to bother. She said she asked me not to go for this very reason, saying she really needed me and I put a vacation above her.

Katie is now staying with her and is also pissed at me, saying Amara was so scared and could’ve died. I pointed out I tried to come back and couldn’t have predicted the hurricane. They both said I still chose to go and even if I had rushed back on a ferry, I’d still likely have missed it. AITA?

Choosing a vacation over a daughter’s high-risk pregnancy isn’t just a scheduling error—it’s a breach of maternal support that carries lasting consequences. Amara’s explicit request for her mother to stay, given her precarious pregnancy and lack of a partner, underscored her need for emotional and physical presence. The mother’s decision to go, despite knowing the risks of early labor and hurricane season, prioritized personal leisure over family duty. Family therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Support during major life events like childbirth builds trust; absence can fracture it” . The hurricane may have been unpredictable, but the choice to leave during a critical time was not, making the mother’s defense ring hollow.

This reflects a broader issue: balancing personal desires with family obligations. A 2023 study found 40% of parents struggle to prioritize adult children’s needs during significant milestones, often leading to resentment . Amara’s complications during labor, coupled with her fear and Katie’s accusations of endangerment, highlight the stakes of the mother’s absence. The decision to travel during peak hurricane season, without evacuating as the storm approached, compounded the risk. Even if she had rushed back, as she argued, the likelihood of missing the birth was high, validating Amara’s plea to stay home in the first place.

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Dr. Gottman advises, “Rebuilding trust after a relational misstep requires accountability and active repair.” The mother should offer a heartfelt apology to Amara, acknowledging her pain and the poor judgment of leaving, and ask how she can support her now. Rescheduling the trip, as Redditors suggested, was a viable option she overlooked. For readers, prioritizing family during critical moments means weighing risks carefully—empathy and presence trump personal plans. The mother should also engage Katie to understand her perspective and work to mend both relationships through consistent, supportive actions.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, slamming the mother’s choice with a mix of disbelief and weather forecasts, while rallying behind Amara’s pain. Here’s the unfiltered take from the crowd:

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McflyThrowaway01 − YTA You knew Ian was coming and arrived 5 days before it hit. You did prioritize the vacation, it wasn't 3 months before, just mere weeks before the due date. You didn't even evacuate as it got closer for your own safety or to ensure you would be there for the birth.

Of course the frickin ferries were suspended when the hurricane hit. I cant believe that is the excuse you are using. In all honesty you knew the hurricane was coming, you knew there was a risk of being stuck and you didn't care.

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devlin94 − YTA. Why on Earth would you plan to take your daughter to an island, during hurricane season, when she is in her 9th month? What is wrong with you?

urban_accountant − YTA 'I can't predict the hurricane' guess you can't watch the weather news either telling you a week ahead it's coming.

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Moon96Moon − You daughter could have died and even knowing that you chose to go to an island in hurricane season when she needed you and you already had agreed to be with her, if there's something you have is the audacity to believe you're n t a 😂😂😂 WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY ARE!! YTA!!

[Reddit User] − When the doctor told us she may not make it to 40 weeks, Amara chose to stay home as to not risk going into labor on the island. [...] She asked me to please stay home from the trip.. Then she went into labor and you missed her birth.

She said she asked me not to go for this very reason, saying she really needed me and I put a vacation above her.. And it's all true. You did put a vacation over her as you went to the trip knowing your daughter would deliver early just like her doctor said.. YTA

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[Reddit User] − YTA. Birth only happens once, you can usually postpone a vacation and reschedule it for another time. You did prioritize the vacation over your daughter. You knew she wanted you there she even specifically asked you not go and for whatever reason you thought it would be ok to still leave. No, there was no way to predict the hurricane would hit where you were, but you also could have thought about what you were being asked over what you wanted.

[Reddit User] − INFO: Why couldn't you reschedule the trip?

miaomy − YTA. You went to the islands peak hurricane season, even though you knew your daughter had a solid chance of going into labor early. She needed you and you chose vacay with your husband over her.

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FabulousOrdinary2 − You probably should have rescheduled the vacation when you learned she’d be 36 weeks pregnant and needed you to be there with her. You really should have rescheduled when you found out she was high risk and might deliver early.

You absolutely should have rescheduled or canceled when you learned there was a hurricane coming. And you definitely should have left the island once you realized you might be trapped there when the hurricane hit. Your daughter was scared and could have died. She needed you and you weren’t there because of your own poor planning. YTA

Appropriate_Data8981 − You literally commented that you could’ve rescheduled but chose not too, YTA

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These Redditors called out the mother’s priorities, but are they too harsh, or is this a clear case of misplaced values? Their fiery takes spark a debate on family duty and hurricane-season hubris.

This story exposes the fallout when personal plans overshadow family needs. The mother’s vacation wasn’t just poorly timed—it was a choice that left her daughter feeling abandoned during a terrifying birth. It’s a reminder that family milestones demand presence over paradise, especially when risks loom large. Have you ever faced a tough call between family duty and personal plans? Share your experiences—what would you do when a loved one needs you most?

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