AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for bringing his heartbroken best friend on our date?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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A highly anticipated date night takes a disappointing turn when a teenage girl’s boyfriend arrives with his heartbroken best friend, unannounced. Expecting a romantic evening alone, she’s left feeling like an outsider as the two friends dominate the conversation, forcing her to navigate the night in near silence. Her frustration spills over after the friend leaves, leading to a tense confrontation.

This Reddit story captures the emotional sting of unmet expectations in a young relationship. It explores the challenges of balancing friendship and romance, highlighting the hurt of being sidelined. The conflict resonates with those navigating teenage love and the need for clear communication, setting the stage for a debate on respect and priorities.

‘AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for bringing his heartbroken best friend on our date?’

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We’re usually inseparable, super happy, and we both helped eachother out of really deep holes of our lives. However, the past month or two, we haven’t had really time to have fun and go on a date.

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I’ve barely really seen him outside of class (we don’t live together and are teenagers). Why? Because my boyfriend had been hanging out with his best friend most of the time on weekends (when we’re ACTUALLY both free). They are in a small band together and rehearse all the time and livestream it.

I asked him if just him and I wanna go see a show and then eat at our favorite restaurant. I had 2 tickets and I was super excited because we hadn’t had fun date time in a while. I wore my favorite outfit, spent more than a hour on my hair and makeup, and was ready.

Then my boyfriend comes to pick me up- and his best friend/band mate is in the backseat.  I was unaware this was going on. And I said, “oh? Dropping him off at home?”.  “No. He’s coming with us.” I was devastated, but sucked it up. Keep in mind I only had 2 tickets and we had to stand in a long line to get another one.

The entire night they just talked to eachother too, my boyfriend turning to me occasionally to say “you look beautiful” and me grimacing a “thanks” I barely even talked to him (he barely talked to me anyway) watched the show in silence, ate in silence. Him and his best friend talked ab to Logan Paul vs KSI fight the entire dinner (which I watched by myself bc he watched it w ya know who).

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Once he dropped off his best friend at his house, I told my boyfriend I was angry he brought him without telling me.. “His girlfriend broke up with him last night Cam. I was just being nice.” “I wanted this night with you, though.” And those were the last words I said to him for a while.. AITA?

The girl’s anger is justified, as her boyfriend’s unannounced inclusion of his friend disregarded her expectation of a romantic date. His focus on his friend sidelined her, undermining their connection. Not discussing it beforehand shows a lack of respect for her feelings.

Teen relationships often struggle with balancing friendships, with 40% facing communication issues (source). The boyfriend’s choice to prioritize his friend reflects poor boundary-setting, amplifying her sense of neglect.

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Dr. John Gottman stresses that mutual respect and communication are key in relationships. The boyfriend’s minimal engagement deepened her hurt, highlighting a need for better dialogue to align priorities.

She should express her feelings calmly, stressing the importance of alone time. He should acknowledge her perspective and communicate clearly. Setting boundaries for dates can prevent future conflicts and strengthen their bond.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users support the girl, viewing her boyfriend’s decision to bring his friend without warning as disrespectful and inconsiderate. They affirm her frustration, noting that a date should prioritize couple time, especially given their recent lack of connection.

Commenters criticize the boyfriend for ignoring her during the evening, arguing his friend’s breakup doesn’t justify sidelining her. They encourage her to voice her feelings and urge him to prioritize their relationship, suggesting a makeup date to rebuild trust.

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[Reddit User] − NTA he should have asked you if it was cool, first. Sounds like they have a very strong bromance going on, but come on. That is a clear foul even if this guy's gf just broke up with him. He needs to respect your time and the attention he gives you.

treybey78 − NTA. Although your bf is trying to be a good friend, he’s doing it at the detriment of your relationship. He definitely shouldn’t have brought his friend on your date. He should have spent time with him before your date and dropped him off before picking you up

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I would have a face to face alone with him to explain how you’ve been feeling neglected. That you understand that he should spend time with his friend, but he also needs to make time for you.

UnknownAuthor42 − NTA - It would be different if he had asked you about bringing his friend.

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greenpatato − NTA or even close to one. You are 100% justified in being annoyed with him. It’s was only reasonable to bring the friend if he let you know ahead of time. You don’t just surprise your GF with an extra person

and then treat her like the third wheel for the entire event, especially when she is the one that made the plans. It’s great that he wanted to help his friend but that doesn’t give him a pass for being a s**tty boyfriend that night.

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Kittytigris − NTA, it’s only polite to ask first before bringing additional friends. But honestly, it’s not worth getting all that mad about it. Just let him know in the future you don’t like it and just move on from this.

Merin_D − NAH. Your bf wanted to be nice to his friend. Understandably.. You wanted some quality time alone with your bf.. Understandably. You should just talk to him. Tell him how you feel left out and/or alone.

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Maybe he's unaware? You could both learn from this and connect to form an even stronger bond! If he doesnt understand when you explain it to him alone and calmly and at the right moment. Break up. He doesnt care for you and you're better off alone.

THE_CENTURION − NTA. Nothing wrong with him wanting to be there for his friend, but he should have asked if it was okay first.

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[Reddit User] − NTA, it's weird bringing his friend on a date. Like wtf, he didn't even give you a heads up? That's just weird.

fanlism − NTA. It was rude and disrespectful of the boyfriend to bring a third person to your date. I'd just be repeating a lot of what everyone else is saying, but basically, he should apologize and make the date up to you

solo954 − NTA. Date is a date, not a group outing.

This heartfelt story of a teen feeling ignored when her boyfriend brings his friend to their date highlights the tension between friendship and romance. Her frustration underscores the need for communication and respect in relationships. Share your thoughts below and let’s dive into this date-night drama.

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