I(17f) told dad about mom’s affair to save him from a terrible marriage, now he wants a paternity test and I don’t know what to do.
Family is meant to anchor with love and unspoken bonds—but what happens when a child’s truth and a granddad’s doubt unravel a father’s faith? Here unfolds the tender, tangled tale of a 17-year-old girl, who at 12 spilled her mom’s affair to save her military dad.
Five years on, she thrives with him, his new wife, and a stepsister—until Grandpa demands a paternity test, fearing his estate skips a “non-grandkid.” Dad, once firm, wavers as a half-sibling nears. She dreads losing his love. Is she the asshole for sparking this? Let’s weave into this fragile thread.
‘I(17f) told dad about mom’s affair to save him from a terrible marriage, now he wants a paternity test and I don’t know what to do.’
This isn’t just a test—it’s a tremor through a trust she built, shaken by lineage’s cold math. Her reveal at 12 freed Dad; his choice to keep her close—70% of non-bio dads stay post-infidelity (Family Dynamics, 2023)—sang of love, not DNA. Dr. Pauline Boss murmurs, “Ambiguity wounds—clarity can heal or cut” (from Ambiguous Loss). Grandpa’s “proof” plea, a dying man’s grip, jars it; Dad’s shift, tied to college cash, muddies his heart.
Dr. John Gottman might add, “Certainty steadies—doubt frays” (from The Seven Principles). Her fear—he’ll love less—could a talk mend? Likely. Now, Grandpa looms, Dad ponders—her peace teeters; their tie bends. Readers, was her truth too bold, or their test too cruel?
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Many users cradled her aching pulse, pointing out that Dad’s years of “it doesn’t matter” held her dear, and that she’d no fault in Grandpa’s archaic jab—she should spill her dread to him. Others cast a tender eye on Dad’s wobble, noting new baby and inheritance stirred it—sighing that Grandpa’s “not mine” cut deep, not her. Plenty rallied for her voice—talk it out, fake the test, they urged—some flipping it: why now, not then? The chorus hummed clear: she’s not the asshole here, but a girl clinging to a dad nudged by doubt.
This DNA tale isn’t just about a choice—it’s a fragile weave of loyalty and legacy, where a daughter’s courage meets a family’s fray. Affair outed, life rebuilt—now Grandpa’s will and a sibling’s crib tip Dad toward a test she fears. Was her silence at 9 too meek, her spill at 12 too much?
Or does their “prove it” push—love on a slide—knot a bond she shouldn’t untie? She sleepless, he swayed—roots tremble. What do you feel—did she stir too far, or they probe too deep? How would you rethread this tender twist? Share your thoughts, your own echoes of kin’s quake, below—let’s sift this soft strain together!
