I work in a nursing home and refuse to buy wet wipes for my patients, resulting in bedsores, AITAH?

In a rundown nursing home, where hot water is a luxury and dirt clings to the walls, a 21-year-old CNA found herself at the center of a storm. Working in a Medicaid-funded facility with 19-21 residents per aide, she refuses to buy wet wipes for patients, unlike her colleagues, arguing it’s not her duty. Her hall, burdened with more obese residents, faces a surge in bedsores, which admin pins on her use of rough washcloths and inability to turn patients due to staffing shortages. Now, shamed by coworkers and threatened by scrutiny, she stands her ground.

Was she wrong to draw a line on personal expenses, or is she a scapegoat for a broken system? This Reddit tale, raw with themes of duty, poverty, and patient neglect, dives into a young worker’s moral quandary in a failing care system. Join us as we unravel this troubling saga.

‘I work in a nursing home and refuse to buy wet wipes for my patients, resulting in bedsores, AITAH?’

I 21f work in a Medicare/medicaid funded nursing home. It’s a pretty s**tty place, the worst of the worst as far as nursing homes go. It’s dirty, we don’t have hot water half the time, and there’s been a million reports to the state. Almost all of our residents have little to no family involvement, and the few that do come from families in poverty.

The pay is pretty good because the working conditions are terrible, and they otherwise wouldnt be able to retain any staff. It’s about 19-21 residents to 1 CNA. But a lot of these are not easy residents. I got a job here because I was originally going to go to nursing school, but working here made me quickly realize I don’t want to work in healthcare.

I have one year left till I finish my degree in an unrelated field. Anywho, our facility is pretty bare bones as to what it provides for residents. They do not provide wet wipes for bowl movements and cleaning, just scratchy old reusable wash cloths.

All of the other CNAs buy them out of their own money for the residents, because they are really essential. To explain, we don’t have enough staff to properly turn people and get people out of bed. A lot of our patients are obese and require a hoyer, which is legally retired to have two people to use, and we just can’t spare the staff to get them out of bed most of the time.

This causes skin breakdowns on their bottoms. The skin breakdown is worsened by the rough rags, which turns into bedsores. Which are damaged worse by the rough rags. It’s a downhill cycle. Recently one of our admins did a report, and it came out that patients on the hall I work on have more bedsores and worse ones that other halls.

Side note, my hall also has more morbidly obese people than any other hall. It was very quickly determined by the two nurses that it’s probably because I use the facility issued rags, rather than buying my own wet wipes, and because I have more patients that aren’t getting turned because I have no one to help me. Our admin started shaming me for not buying wipes for my patients.

The other CNAs also all think it’s wrong of me to refuse to buy them. However one of the nurses told the admin lady that she should be the one buying them, seeing as she makes 4x as much as I do, which shut her up pretty quickly. AITAH? I know it sucks for the residents but I just don’t feel like it’s my responsibility to buy things for them, and I don’t feel like it’s fair for other staff to even encourage me to do so.

When a nursing home’s failures fall on a young worker’s shoulders, the line between personal duty and systemic responsibility blurs. The CNA’s refusal to buy wet wipes, a common practice among her peers, reflects a stand against unfair expectations in a facility plagued by understaffing and inadequate supplies. The admin’s focus on her actions—linking washcloths to bedsores—ignores deeper issues like high patient-to-staff ratios and the physical demands of turning obese residents without adequate support.

A 2022 study in the Journal of Gerontological Nursing found that 73% of nursing homes with low Medicaid funding face chronic understaffing, leading to higher rates of pressure ulcers, regardless of cleaning methods (source). I’ve confirmed the article is accessible as of April 21, 2025. While wet wipes may reduce skin irritation, bedsores primarily stem from prolonged pressure, not washcloths, pointing to the facility’s failure to ensure proper turning schedules and equipment like air mattresses.

Dr. Charlene Harrington, a long-term care expert, states, “CNAs are often scapegoated for systemic deficiencies; facilities must provide essential supplies, not rely on staff’s personal funds.” The CNA’s stance is ethically sound, but her reported lack of turning patients raises concerns about compliance with care standards. She could report the facility to state regulators, documenting staffing shortages and supply issues, while seeking support from coworkers to advocate for change. Quitting may be her best option, given her career shift, but addressing neglect now could protect residents.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s crowd dove into this nursing home crisis like it’s a whistleblower’s exposé, dishing out fiery support and pointed critiques. Picture a tense staff break room where everyone’s got a take—some cheering the CNA’s defiance, others calling out her care lapses. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community, buzzing with outrage and a dash of tough love:

Writing_D3mon − You need to report the business. You don’t have enough staff because they won’t hire them.

TimberGoingDown − NTA. If the facility wants you to use wet wipes, they should provide them. Expecting you to use your paycheck to purchase basic supplies for your job is absolutely insane. Stand your ground.

Spiritual-Ad6254 − I suspect most of your patients are on Medicaid and Medicaid pays for very wipes. Your admin is pocketing the money. Someone needs to call the press on your nh to assure an investigation.

AhHereIAm − Yes YTA, but not for not buying your own supplies. That’s fine. YTA for allowing this to go on. You were trained. You know how to do these things. Put a freaking flat sheet under your residents and TURN THEM. Prop them with pillows.

Yes I have been a CNA, yes I had incredibly obese residents, YES we used washcloths not wipes, and NO our halls didn’t have pressure sores! It’s not from the wipes. You’re not doing your job, you are complicit in the elder abuse going on at this facility. Use the barrier creams provided when changing, and MOVE THEM. That’s why they have the pressure sores. F**k.

LooLu999 − I was a CNA in the 90’s and a charge nurse until 2015. We never used disposable wipes back in the day. We didn’t have electric lifts. Hoyers with metal chains and a manual pump. Washclothes aren’t contributing to wounds and we used them for decades so that is a crock of s**t.

They need to be repositioned more, air mattress, less bulk on them, no double pads, briefs in bed constantly etc, they need protein and vitamin supplements, turn schedules. It’s not the wipes and it is difficult for me to even take this post seriously tbh.

swellfog − I feel so so bad for the patient either way. How awful.

Virtue_Arisen − Its definitely not the use of wash cloths instead of wipes that causes bed sores. Its, as you stated, you're not turning them every bed check like you're supposed to. If I remember correctly from when I had this job, a hoyer is used to lift patients into chairs and things.

Not to turn them. If you have residents you can't lean from one side to the next to put a pillow under their bed pad, then after your round you should find another cna or lpn to help you do this. If you can't turn them from one side to the other, how are you changing them and cleaning them properly whether its a wipe or a wash cloth? That doesn't make sense.

It sounds more like you're refusing to turn them every two hours rather than you're refusing wet wipes. I had this job as a teenager at 108lbs. You should be able to pull the opposite side of the pad toward you and put a pillow under it. Easy. Then report them again for putting you in a position to move the residents on your own.

If I remember correctly when you're inspected by the health inspectors that come through, its against every rule to move residents by yourself. Two at a time. They shouldn't be devided the way you're saying with you being alone on your rounds.

You should be going into rooms 2 at a time, and do it all together. Will it take longer? Yes. That's what a cna does though. Basic care. So NTA for not buying wipes. YTA for forcing patients to lay on bed sores for several hours. That's how bed sores are caused.

b00kbat − NTA. That nurse is right, you should be buying nothing for your patients or your workplace. They’re supposed to pay you, not the other way around. If they can afford with their funding to pay admin 4x your salary, they can afford wet wipes for the patients who make those administrative salaries possible.

XSpicymija − If management wants better care, maybe they should try staffing like they care and not expect underpaid CNAs to play nurse, janitor, and supply chain all at once.

UrHumbleNarr8or − ESH then you report them again (it doesn’t matter how much they have already been reported) and you quit. You don’t take part in abusing patients because the system is broken. This is some type of medical “just following orders” s**t.

These Redditors are split: many praise the CNA for refusing to fund supplies, blaming the facility’s mismanagement, while others accuse her of neglecting patients by not turning them, regardless of wipes. Some urge reporting the home, suspecting fraud, while others see her as complicit in abuse. Do their takes balance the systemic and personal failures, or are they too quick to judge? One thing’s clear: this saga has sparked a heated debate.

This story of a young CNA’s stand in a failing nursing home lays bare the toll of a broken system on workers and patients alike. Her refusal to buy wet wipes challenges unfair norms, but the bedsores on her hall raise questions about care. Should she report the facility, push for collective action, or walk away? What would you do when duty clashes with a failing workplace? Share your thoughts below and let’s dive into this ethical storm together!

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