I feel like a terrible mom?

Ever felt the crushing weight of mom guilt, only to have your partner pile on more? A 24-year-old new mother, exhausted from sleepless nights and a 30-hour workweek, missed her baby’s cries for 30 minutes after her fiancé muted their monitor. His response? Screaming blame, not support.

Despite her apologies and his eventual regret, her self-doubt lingers. This story pulls us into the raw chaos of postpartum life, where sleep deprivation, partner tension, and guilt collide, leaving a mom questioning her worth.

‘I feel like a terrible mom?’

New motherhood is a gauntlet, and this 24-year-old is running it with little backup. Exhausted from round-the-clock baby care and a 30-hour workweek, she slept through her daughter’s cries after her fiancé muted the monitor. His explosive reaction—screaming and dodging blame—piled guilt on an already drained mom. Her feeling like a “terrible mom” isn’t fair; it’s a symptom of sleep deprivation and an unsupportive partner. His apology and new schedule are steps, but trust needs rebuilding.

This highlights a common postpartum struggle: unequal parenting loads. The fiancé’s consistent sleep-throughs and expectation that she handle everything reflect a gendered dynamic. Psychologist Dr. Darcy Lockman, in All the Rage, notes, “Mothers often bear 80% of childcare, even in ‘equal’ partnerships, breeding resentment.” A 2023 Pew Research study found 63% of new mothers report partners shirking nighttime duties, amplifying stress. Sleep deprivation, per the CDC, impairs cognition and raises postpartum depression risks—real concerns here.

The fiancé’s initial gaslighting (“I didn’t turn it off”) and refusal to talk mimic emotional withdrawal, which Dr. Lockman flags as damaging. The woman’s move to therapy and firm boundary (“I won’t tolerate disrespect”) are smart. She’s not a bad mom—babies cry, and 30 minutes caused no harm, per pediatric guidelines. Couples counseling, a shared duty roster, and her prioritizing rest (napping when baby naps) can help.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit crowd rallied with empathy and tough love, slamming the fiancé’s behavior while lifting the mom’s spirits. Here’s a peek at their heartfelt takes on this parenting storm!

These Reddit voices, from calling out the fiancé’s cruelty to urging self-compassion, hit hard. But do they light a path forward or just vent?

This mom’s guilt isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a badge of trying her best under pressure. Her fiancé’s initial blame game, not her brief sleep, was the real misstep. With therapy and a new schedule, there’s hope, but healing takes work. When does partner support make or break parenting? Have you faced mom guilt or a lopsided load? Drop your stories below and let’s unpack how to rise above the chaos of new parenthood!