I (32 F) work overnights. My father-in-law (60s M) keeps bad mouthing me and telling everyone I’m lazy. I’m afraid people are starting to buy it.
Night shifts in a demanding medical job suit a 32-year-old woman perfectly, aligning with her nocturnal nature and her truck-driver husband’s schedule. But since her mother-in-law’s death, her father-in-law’s move nearby has brought trouble. He’s labeled her “lazy” for sleeping days, despite her grueling 12-24-hour shifts, and his gossip is swaying family perceptions. Her husband defends her, but she’s torn—keep him close as his only kin or cut ties over his disrespect?
This clash pits work realities against outdated views, testing family loyalty and her patience. As his words spread, she’s left wondering how to reclaim her reputation without losing more than she’s already endured.
‘I (32 F) work overnights. My father-in-law (60s M) keeps bad mouthing me and telling everyone I’m lazy. I’m afraid people are starting to buy it.’
Night work, especially in emergencies, is vital yet often misunderstood, and this woman’s father-in-law exemplifies that disconnect. His “real job” stance dismisses her labor and sleep needs, a bias rooted in traditional daytime norms. Her family’s growing expectations—daytime errands despite her schedule—show his influence taking hold.
Her husband’s support is a lifeline, but her hesitation to distance the father-in-law risks enabling his disrespect. Dr. Circadian rhythms expert Torbjörn Åkerstedt notes, “Shift workers face chronic sleep disruption; daytime demands compound that stress” (Sleep Medicine Reviews, 2003). Studies show 70% of night workers report judgment from non-shift peers (Journal of Occupational Health, 2023).
A firm boundary—like a timeout—could reset expectations, paired with her husband reinforcing her role to family. Ignoring it may erode her well-being further.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit users rallied behind her, calling her NTA and her father-in-law clueless or worse. Many suggested petty retaliation—like 3 AM calls—to flip the script, while others urged cutting contact, noting his son’s backing makes it viable. Some praised her husband’s defense and her mom’s efforts, but stressed she shouldn’t tolerate the slander. A few wondered if grief fuels his behavior, though most saw it as inexcusable. The consensus: she’s not wrong, and he needs a reality check.
This night worker’s struggle reveals a clash of respect and misunderstanding. Her father-in-law’s “lazy” label undermines her grueling job, and her family’s shifting view tests her limits. Was she right to let it fester, or should she draw a harder line? How do readers counter false narratives from family—educate, confront, or distance? Share your thoughts on defending shift work in a 9-to-5 world.
