I (26M) had a heart attack and no one cared. Not sure what to do now?

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The hospital room was stark, its beeping monitors a grim soundtrack to a 26-year-old’s brush with death. After a heart attack triggered by relentless work and energy drink binges, he lay alone, waiting for friends or family who never showed. The sting of their absence cut deeper than the IV in his arm, leaving him grappling with memory issues and a gnawing sense of betrayal.

This isn’t just a medical scare—it’s a wake-up call about loyalty and self-worth. As he navigates anger and isolation, the Reddit community offers blunt advice and tough questions. We’ll unpack his story, dive into expert insights, and explore why no one showed up when it mattered most. Can he rebuild his circle, or is it time to start fresh? Let’s dive in.

‘I (26M) had a heart attack and no one cared. Not sure what to do now?’

I apologize if this doesn't belong here. Didn't know whether to put this in r/offmychest or not. Figured I'd start here. Back in early December (the 7th or 8th) I had a heart attack, which lead to cardiac arrest. I was really overworked and stressed myself out. I was hardly sleeping or eating, and I was pounding tons of energy drinks.

I know that was stupid. Working so much was also stupid. I’m young and relatively healthy all things considered. I was sort of alone when it happened, and a co-worker found me sometime after I had passed out. While I was in the hospital, no one came to see me. Friends or family. That really hurt, but I was only in the hospital for 4 or 5 days.

A few friends said they would come see me, but never did. One friend even offered to take me to one of my follow up appointments, but blew me off to hang out with her friends. We ended up getting into a huge argument over it and don’t talk anymore. I’ve told most of my friends and family. Excluding my parents (who are biologically required to care) no one really seems to care or be concerned.

I hate saying this cause it sounds super dramatic, but I actually could have died. I’ve been dealing with memory issues ever sense, and my doctor says the longer it goes on the more likely it is to be permanent. I feel like I’m all alone now. I’m angry and upset at everyone, and I don’t know what to do from here? Do I just need to get over it? I’m still dealing with memory issues which are super scary and I feel like I have no one to talk to.

EDIT: I wanna add a little more context around the actual heart attack. Basically, I have a day job (I work IT at my local school district) I was asked/offered to come help my father's company set up a brand new office. I 100% should have said no as it was way to much work on top of my already packed schedule,

but I had just broken up with a girl and needed something to focus on (and it was just a super cool opportunity I didn't wanna pass up). Between my day job and this project I had no free time, was getting like 4 hours of sleep if I was lucky, and just drinking tons of caffeine/energy drinks and not eating.

3ish weeks of this was too much for my body to handle. I'm generally not crazy overworked. I just took on a 2nd job/project that I really shouldn't have. Had I not done that, I'm positive I wouldn't be in this situation. The project was meant to last about 2 months, maybe less.

A heart attack at 26 is a brutal wake-up call, but the real shock here is the silence from friends and family. This young man’s overwork and neglect of self-care—four hours of sleep, endless energy drinks—pushed his body to the brink. Yet, the emotional fallout of feeling invisible stings worse, fueling anger and isolation.

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman explains, “Social connection is crucial for recovery; feeling ignored can deepen trauma” (Psychology Today). His lack of visitors mirrors a broader issue: 20% of young adults report chronic loneliness, per a 2023 Cigna study (Cigna Loneliness Report). His friends’ flakiness—promising visits or rides, then bailing—suggests either weak bonds or his own past behavior, as Redditors hint.

Self-reflection is key. He should assess if he’s been a reliable friend or if he’s drawn to unreliable people. Joining meetup groups or hobby clubs can forge new connections. Therapy, like cognitive behavioral therapy, could address his anger and memory fears, per NHS guidelines (NHS Mental Health).

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit didn’t sugarcoat it, dishing out tough love and hard questions about loyalty and self-worth. Here’s a taste of their candid, no-holds-barred takes:

[Reddit User] − This incident showed you where your friends and their loyalties actually are. The only solution is to remain positive, remember that there are selfless friends to be made and go find them. Life is too short to keep toxic people in your life that dont have your best interest in mind. Use this event to have a new lease on life, don't take anything for granted, ask girls out, send that risky text. You might not get a second chance.

DeepSouthDude − I have a tough question for you. Did your family and friends ignore you because they are all jerks? Or because you've treated them badly leading up to this time?. Be honest. I find it difficult to believe that no one, not one family member, friend, acquaintance, or coworker, would visit you. Unless you were The Grinch.

ldc2626 − You might not want to hear it and you may not even admit it, but when things are this bad and everyone ignores you in a near death situation - you have to evaluate yourself. Either every friend you have is a jerk or you're the jerk. Either every family you have is an a**hole or you're the a**hole. Its shocking that even your family ignores you; unless something terrible happened between you and them, that normally isn't the case.

ottoneurseolo − I am sorry to see this. The only thing now is that you know who is loyal to you and who isn't. Remove all the people who aren't loyal to you. Find some new friends by trying some meetup groups.. I wish you the best.

sectorfour − Either you have a s**t personality and they don’t like you, or you pick flakey people to hang around with. What do you think it is?

Melkly − I was here with you until you excused 2 peoples care for you as 'biological'. Biology stopped playing a part in their choice to love you long ago. There is no polite way to say this. You come off as condescending saying a parents love is 1. Natural 2. Owed to you. Neither of true. Love is a choice, and there are plenty of parents who don't love or even care for their child.

You have a privilege you refuse to see. If you call a parents love a biological reaction. And your friends don't show when you get seriously ill, maybe take a deep look in how you treat others. Cause if no one wants to be by your bed side, it is a reflection of how you treat them..

It must have been terrifying to go through a heart attack all alone. But if you take your parents love for granted, I cant help but wonder what else you took for granted and who else. Everyone here is right. They are all telling you something by bailing and not showing up. But what that message is, only you know because only you have the full story.

[Reddit User] − Sorry to hear this. You probably do need to do a life eval on who you surround yourself with. Keep in mind that you are not responsible for others actions and they are not responsible for yours. I speak for myself that if one of my friends was in the hospital I would be there in a heartbeat and cooking them food for their freezer for their recovery.

If you don’t feel as though you’re taken care of, take responsibility for yourself and reach out to others in hobbies and interests that you are interested in. Take care of yourself and know that there ARE others who care for friends. It might just take some trial and error to find them. Also, life lesson to take care of others, be the friend that you want to have.

robeph − I've spent a lot of time in hospitals. I understand how you feel. It feels like you've been ignored, left all alone in a serious moment where you could really use some people there having your back. I hate waking up in the ER, transferred to a bed, calling some friends to ask if they'd come by. Some do say they will, no one showed up, not once, a few times, 5 or 6 hospitalizations.

But sometimes they do. What I find is that they don't realize the seriousness of how I feel when I am there. Visiting a hospital is also stressful. I know I was under a lot of stress, they should do it no matter how much a pain in the ass it is. But they didn't. It wasn't until my buddy was in the hospital after a surgery I realized how easy it is to say, maybe tomorrow when I have less s**t going on, maybe later tonight after I work.

maybe on friday before I go out with some friends, s**t he's been in their almost 2 weeks, I need to go now. It is easy to put it off, the parking, the cost of parking, walking through a hospital with draw similar looking doors, the sound of people who likely won't make it a few more weeks, some who will go home, watching the forlorn looks on people passing you after leaving the room of their loved ones.

Really shouldn't make excuses, but I can. I have been on both sides of the this. A lot. Don't hold this particular one against your friends too much. Unless they've given you another reason and this is a last straw, this particular case is one I've learned we have to give a pass one.

throwawayRA017 − It may be time to do an inventory of yourself, of the kind of people you attract into your life and surround yourself with. Look at how you want to be treated. Not how you are treated, not how you think you deserve to be treated, just how you *want* to be treated. Now start treating people that way and surround yourself with people who return that kind of treatment. Don't settle for s**tty friends, and don't settle for being a s**tty friend. Life is too short for that.

Edit: and do it because it's right, not because of what you want from others. I say this because I reached a dark place and thought 'no one is here for me' but I hadn't been there for them, so why would they be? I had been harsh, neglected my friendships, judged their decisions, turned down to many invites to hang out, made things about myself instead of being a supportive friend.

I had s**tty friendships with good people because it's what I was giving them. This might not be the case for you, but there's some reason that no one was there. Maybe you're kind and giving but don't find yourself worthy of good friends. Maybe you're a d**k. Who knows, but it's something to figure out. I hope whatever it is, you grow to be a loving person with high self worth and are end up surroundedby wonderful people. Good luck.

lonelygoldfishh − I am so sorry you had to go through this but listen, you had a heart attack in December amd that means you REALLY need to take good care of yourself ; don't stress out, don't overthink, don't worry much even though it's really hard. Just know if they do not care, you should not expect anything from them. I hope you find someone who cares about you and love you unconditionally.

These Reddit opinions swing from brutal honesty to cautious empathy, but do they miss the mark on his pain? Hospitals are daunting, sure, but ghosting a friend in crisis? That’s a choice.

This young man’s heart attack laid bare more than health risks—it exposed a circle that vanished when he needed them most. As he wrestles with memory issues and resentment, the path forward hinges on self-care, new connections, and maybe a hard look in the mirror. Should he forgive his flaky friends or seek a tribe that shows up? Share your thoughts—what would you do if no one cared when you were down?

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