I (24F) blacked out and slept with a C-suite executive (51M) at work and I have no idea how to proceed. I’ve never done anything like this

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A night of work drinks spirals into a fog of regret for a young woman who wakes up with no memory of sleeping with a C-suite executive twice her age. At 24, she’s the youngest in a boozy, male-dominated workplace, now wrestling with shame and a million questions about a night she can’t recall. His call to keep it secret—for his wife’s sake—only deepens her confusion about what happened and how to face him again.

This Reddit tale dives into a murky mix of consent, power dynamics, and workplace pressure. Was she wrong to seek answers, or is the real issue the executive’s role in this mess? Let’s unravel this story of lost memories and tough choices.

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‘I (24F) blacked out and slept with a C-suite executive (51M) at work and I have no idea how to proceed. I’ve never done anything like this’

I work in a bit of a boys club environment where everyone goes out after big meetings and gets trashed. I’m the youngest by a long shot and was hired because I wrote an influential paper that got a lot of traction. Everyone else is married or divorced. I have NEVER slept with a coworker, and this is the first “one night stand” I’ve had in 4-5 years. I’m not this person.

I haven’t spoken much or spent much time around this guy, but he’s a c suite executive at my work. We went out and I don’t even remember talking much to him. I talked to another friend of mine. The next day I asked my coworker (48M, friendly) how it was and said the last thing I remember is sitting and talking with you and he said yeah it was obvious you got too drunk and you were kinda quiet and ready to go home.

We all went back to the hotel and you sort of disappeared after that. I have NO RECOLLECTION of coming back to the hotel, NO RECOLLECTION of talking to this guy at the bars- only before trying to get to know him a bit. I don’t know if I initiated it, but that would be out of character.

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He’s got a wife and kids. I was wearing a shirt that is difficult to unbutton sober, but I woke up in my own bed with it off. It seems like based on text records that this occurred maybe 3am or so. The next day c suite executive calls me and says I left something in his room. He says be sure that I don’t text him about this call him tell him how good it was or anything because he can’t ruin his relationship with his wife.

He said this all has to be kept a secret. He said he will discreetly give me back my item the next time we see eachother later this month. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO???? Part of me wants to ask him what happened. I’m dying to know- I can’t stop thinking about it. How did I get to his room? How did I get back to mine? Who initiated? Did I fall asleep? Was I active or did I just lay there? Did he finish? Where? I have so many questions….

I understand that this could be a**ault, but I don’t really want to move forward with HR etc because what if I initiated it? I don’t want to ruin his life and I don’t want to ruin my reputation. I don’t want anyone else to know. What if he hates me after this and seeks to ruin me or doesn’t see me as worth anything professionally?

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I think it will be easy to keep this quiet and sweep it under the rug, but I don’t know how to interact with him. Is it a bad idea to ask him what happened and all those other questions? I am mostly just embarrassed and sad that I don’t know what happened but I don’t feel violated.

If anything, taken advantage of due to the fact that he’s over twice my age, has more $ and power than I ever will, and clearly wasn’t as drunk as I was. But it doesn’t feel like this was some evil thing he did on purpose. I know I wouldn’t have made that choice sober, but there’s no evidence of violence or force so it’s impossible to say what happened.

Legally in my country I know this is a**ault/illegal. I was trying to get to know him a bit at the meeting way before the drinking- since we have never spoken and he is influential in our industry so maybe he mistook it as flirting. I just don’t know how to minimize the impact of this event on my life. I don’t know how to interact with him moving forward, I don’t know if I should pretend it never happened or ask for more info from him or tell him I was upset by this…..

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Edit: c suite executive is like the heads of the company. CEO CFO etc. google it for more info

UPDATE: Hotel said they can not give me CCTV without a subpoena. Please don’t just tell me I fucked up by drinking. I know I did. Don’t beat a dead horse. I usually don’t drink at work and everyone else does and this time I think it was a combination of a bit of peer pressure and the fact that I’m going through a lot in my personal life. I will never drink at work again. I’m an i**ot, I get it.

EDIT: I am nearly certain I was not drugged but I’ll get a test. I drank a lot…. I just don’t know how to interact with him moving forward any advice on that would be appreciated.

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Waking up with no memory of a sexual encounter with a much older, more powerful colleague is a red flag waving in a storm. The woman’s blackout, coupled with the executive’s insistence on secrecy, points to a troubling power imbalance, if not outright assault. Her hesitation to report stems from shame and fear of professional fallout, but his awareness of her intoxication raises serious ethical and legal questions about consent. In many jurisdictions, inability to consent due to intoxication constitutes assault.

A 2021 study in Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that 1 in 4 workplace sexual assaults involve alcohol, often exploited by higher-ranking individuals leveraging authority. This aligns with the executive’s behavior, especially his preemptive warning against texting, which suggests manipulation to control the narrative.

Dr. Thema Bryant, a trauma expert, notes, “Survivors of ambiguous encounters often grapple with self-blame, but clarity comes from prioritizing safety and truth.” Bryant’s insight urges the woman to seek medical tests (for drugs, STDs, pregnancy) and document details, as Reddit advised. A therapist specializing in trauma can help process her emotions without judgment.

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She should avoid private contact with him to protect herself legally and emotionally, focusing on professional boundaries. Consulting a lawyer discreetly could clarify her options without immediate HR involvement.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, offering a mix of outrage, empathy, and urgent advice. Was this a consensual mistake or a predatory act? Here’s what the community threw into the mix:

Dry-Elderberry-2809 − Just writing to share that a similar thing happened to me after a work holiday party. Same age as you. All our executives flew in from out of town and we had a very boozy, bougie party. I was somewhat flattered into joining a table of these C Levels who just fed me drinks.

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I thought it was just a meeting of the minds & they were interested in getting to know me bc of my stellar performance at work! As I was browning out and someone put his hand on me knee I all the sudden realized the vibe. I discreetly called an uber and Irish goodbyed the creepy jerks.

And then I had to work with them for two more years. And I was so embarrassed. The feeling you get from waking up the next day and not remembering how things went down…oh it’s BRUTAL. I called a few friends and found out basically my reputation became compromised and other people at the company were talking s**t about me. It sucked.

I ultimately completely resolved myself of the situation. I was a young girl at my first job and these were career businessmen with families, like you mentioned. They knew they were taking advantage of 1) alcohol 2) power imbalance to be coercive. You know who would never treat a young girl like that? My dad who is the operations director of a huge company.

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He would never be trying to cozy up to the young pretty girls who work for him, period. So, it was this guy who was in the wrong, not you. And how will this play out going forward? You will need to forgive yourself and ultimately ignore him. Hold your head up high. And if ANYONE has cause to be embarrassed, it’s him.. Sending love girl!

BriefHorror − Go to the hospital ask to test for the date r d**g

Prestigious_Try_5411 − Is there any way request the security footage of the hotel around the time you came back? This whole situation is really bizzarre and not your fault. I don‘t want to scare you, but if this guy roofied you, you don‘t even know if it was just him and he‘s only acting this way (calling you and telling you this story) to make everything seem more normal. I wish you all the best, I‘m sorry this is happening

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swigbar − DO NOT send friendly texts back to the c level. He’s going to use it as proof that you had a good time

batikfins − A 50 year old man in a leadership position knows exactly what he’s doing when he makes a move on a blackout drunk junior colleague. You’re feeling a lot of different things right now, it’s overwhelming and confusing, but you need to move to protect yourself and your interests.

It’s going to take a long time to process and understand what’s happened. This isn’t something you’re going to resolve right now, this week, this month. But there are a few steps you need to take. Write down exactly what you remember - dates, names, who was there, what they said, when he called you, what he said in the call. Write it out by hand or send it in an email to yourself.

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Depending on when this happened, go to the hospital and see if they can check you for signs of a**ault. If it was more than a week ago, get them to check you for STDs and pregnancy. If you have a trusted friend you can talk to about this, talk to them. If you can schedule an emergency therapy session, or you have a family doctor you can talk to, make an appointment. I’m sorry this happened, you didn’t deserve it.

Iammine4420 − Call the hotel and ask for the footage of you going to your then his room. I think that footage might prove to be informative and revealing.. You don’t seem to realize that you were assaulted and incapable of consent.

Alternative_Cat1310 − What I wish people would understand that if someone assaulted you and you report it and their life is ruined. They ruined their life, not you. You don’t feel violated because you don’t remember. Trust me as time goes on the trauma of it all will hit you. You are in shock. Please go and ask for a blood test to see if there’s anything still in your system.

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This is super serious and this could be something this person does regularly. If it’s not unheard of to have C Suite executives taking advantage of lower ranked employees. If we don’t start holding perpetrators accountable, they will know just how easy it is to get away with s**ual a**ault.

I’m an advocate and I see perpetrators get away with things every day and it makes me so angry. Self victims, both men and women need to start not just speaking up but yelling at the top of their lungs to change the system and hold perpetrators accountable.

mzkittay − your friend said it was obvious you over-drank so why did this guy sleep with you at all? and in your brief convo he tells you don't text 'to tell him how good it was' ?? he is trying to distract you from asking wtf happened. I'm sorry this is very sketchy and wrong

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Low_Engineering8921 − I wasn't going to tell you that you drank too much. I'm going to tell you that this was almost definitely a**ault. Just because you have no evidence of a**ault, doesn't mean it wasn't. At best, you were too drunk to actively consent. At worst, you were drugged. You need to take the morning after pill immediately and get tested. If you have no memory of this, then you have no idea if he used protection.

Pale_Cantaloupe_1445 − I know it’s easier to blame urself but this doesn’t sound right at all to me. Get checked out for safety

These Reddit reactions are raw, but do they guide her toward clarity or deepen the fog?

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This woman’s blackout nightmare underscores the dangers lurking in workplace drinking cultures and power imbalances. Her quest for answers—stifled by shame and the executive’s secrecy—demands courage to prioritize her safety and truth. Whether assault or a drunken misstep, the path forward lies in medical checks, documentation, and professional distance. Have you faced a workplace situation that left you questioning your choices? What would you do in her shoes? Drop your insights in the comments and let’s keep this critical conversation alive!

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