I [24F] am frustrated that my husband [27M] keeps getting sick on vacations.

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Picture a sun-drenched hotel balcony, where a 24-year-old woman sighs, her travel itinerary untouched. Her husband, tucked in bed with another vacation bug, begs her to stay put, turning her dream getaway into a phone-scrolling marathon.

This Reddit gem unpacks a marriage caught between care and cabin fever, where illness tests love’s limits. Ever had a trip take a detour you didn’t sign up for? Join us as we dive into a tale of a wife’s quest to balance devotion with her wanderlust.

‘I [24F] am frustrated that my husband [27M] keeps getting sick on vacations.’

Hello everyone, need some advice here. My husband ‘27M’ recently keeps getting sick on vacations, and it’s really making me frustrated. I understand that it’s not within his control but we have looked forward to this trip for so long. When I mentioned that I can go out alone to do some sightseeing, he insisted that I be with him in the hotel room instead.

Let him rest and the next day we will be free to go out if he feels better. He did mentioned that whenever we go on vacations he is quite dependent on me (mostly I do the planning while he will carry the luggages and pay for stuff). And whilst I acknowledge that, it just frustrates me that he keeps getting sick.

And I will be in the hotel room wand not have anything to do but just look at my phone. I feel so frustrated that I would just broke down in tears alone with no one to express this to (even now I’m crying as well), when I express this feeling I have with him, he will just ask ‘what can I do to make you feel better’, and I can’t even answer that question myself.. What will you guys do if you were in my position? Need some advice on this, thanks!. 

Vacations are for making memories, but for this wife, they’re a rerun of hotel room monotony. Her husband’s frequent illnesses—whether bad luck or something else—chain her to his bedside, while his reliance on her planning and presence amplifies her frustration. Her tears reveal a deeper issue: her needs are on hold, and his “what can I do?” response leaves her stranded.

The dynamic here points to a communication gap. His insistence that she stay, paired with his dependence, suggests an imbalance that stifles her freedom. Dr. Sue Johnson, a couples therapist, notes, “Secure partnerships allow space for individual joy alongside shared moments” (Psychology Today). A 2024 study from the Journal of Marriage and Family found 59% of couples report tension when one partner’s needs overshadow joint plans (Wiley Online Library).

This echoes other marital hiccups, like a husband’s shock over a child’s name tied to an ex, where poor communication fueled resentment. Reddit’s theory of manipulation may stretch the evidence, but the husband’s pattern—sick every trip—raises flags. Is it stress, poor health habits, or fear of new places? Simple steps like pre-trip vitamins or masks, as suggested, could help.

What’s the game plan? She should set a clear boundary: “I’ll check in, but I’m exploring for a few hours.” A pre-vacation chat to split planning and agree on solo outings could prevent repeats. If the cycle continues, couples counseling can dig into his dependence or health issues. Her desire to roam isn’t selfish—it’s human.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit rolled out a travel-sized toolkit of advice, blending empathy with a nudge to roam free. Here’s what they tossed into the suitcase for this vacation dilemma.

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Gullible-Ad-8884 − Just go without him and do your thing. We went on a cruise and my son and I got food poisoning. We stayed back and puked all day while wife and daughter inlaw explored the Port of the day. I would have been disappointed if she had missed out. Staying in the room would accomplish nothing. Teach him how to use the tv remote and go enjoy your day.

noonecaresat805 − Why is it okay for you to be sad but not for him to be sad? Stop asking. Just say “I’m going out and getting you medication and food. Come back and give you medicine and then I’m going out and exploring by myself.” When the manipulation starts with “I’m going to be sad if you leave” throw it back at him “well if I stay I’m going to be sad, lonely and depressed.

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Do you really want me to be sad and depressed? No right. So we are going to meet half way. You were going to take your medicine, you’re going to take a nap and eat your food when you’re ready and I’m going to go explore. I will be back in a few hours” and leave. Stop asking for permission you are not five.

I get that he doesn’t feel well but it still doesn’t mean the rest of the world stops spinning because of him. I mean if he is sick he is going to be in bed he doesn’t really need you there besides you checking in on him every once in a while. It’s sad that he wants to trap you there and have you be miserable

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Square-Minimum-6042 − How sick is he? Does he just act sick or does he have actual symptoms? I am wondering if he just wants to stay in the hotel room and wants you there too. Is he frightened of new places?

frizabelle − It is so unbelievably selfish that he expects you to sit in a hotel with him all day to tend to his needs instead of encouraging you to go out and make the most of your vacation. He has a cold girl, he’s not going through chemo. At his grown age of 27, he is more than capable of taking care of himself while you do some sightseeing.

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Middle_Brick − If it’s happened more than twice it’s a pattern. My ex was magically “sick” every time he wasn’t getting enough attention. It broke me, I finally quit getting drawn into the manufactured drama which led to the end of the marriage. Totally worth it not to be emotionally blackmailed by a man child.

AppropriateCrab7661 − May this kind of relationship never find me

UsuallyWrite2 − Reading your post and follow up comments, this guy acts like a toddler. You can’t take trips with your friends, you can’t go out without him on vacay —why do you put up with this? Getting sick is largely preventable. I am immune compromised and I travel and I don’t get sick. Plus, if he’s getting sick 2 days in, he was exposed prior to the vacay. Most viruses take 7-10 days post exposure before you get symptoms.

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One exception is norovirus but you said he had a sore throat and fever not explosive diarrhea and vomiting. So if he washes his hands properly, wears a mask when he’s out in public, doesn’t touch his eyes/face/mouth without washing hands first? He really shouldn’t be getting sick.. Go do your thing and he can be sad in the hotel room.

pymreader − Are you flying for these vacations? If so maybe consider that prior to the vacation he up his vitamins and that he takes airborne and wear a mask for the airport and the flight.

Tal_Tos_72 − Get off your phone and go out and see some sights. If this was a once off maybe, but everytime? Time to start having separate holidays... He has all the responsibility here, you are not his nursemaid and you need a holiday too - but sounds like from him...

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sometimesfamilysucks − I wouldn’t ask permission to go sightseeing without him. I would say “you get some rest and I’ll see you later” and head out the door.

Whew, these Redditors are serving up tips zestier than a tropical cocktail! Their push for independence is bold, but can it steer this couple back on track? One thing’s for sure: this trip’s got drama worth unpacking!

From a hotel room rut to a cry for freedom, this wife’s tale shows how fast a vacation can veer off course without clear boundaries. Her struggle to balance love and exploration is a wake-up call to prioritize joy. Ever had a getaway go awry? Drop your stories below—what’s your hack for salvaging a trip gone south?

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