Husband goes on vacation with mom and leaves two kids at home…?

Picture a frazzled mom juggling a high-stakes job, two energetic toddlers, and a mental health battle, all while her husband sips cocktails on a sun-drenched island with his mom. The sting of abandonment cuts deep as she scrolls through bedtime FaceTime glimpses of their shared hotel room—complete with a single king bed. This isn’t a soap opera plot; it’s the real-life drama of a Reddit user seeking validation for her hurt.

Her story sparks a firestorm of opinions, pulling us into the messy heart of family loyalty and personal boundaries. Her frustration simmers with every diaper change and work deadline, amplified by the tropical backdrop of her husband’s getaway. Readers can’t help but feel her exhaustion and question the fairness of it all. Is she wrong to feel betrayed, or is this a glaring red flag in their marriage? Let’s dive into her story, the Reddit reactions, and what experts say about navigating such emotionally charged dilemmas.

‘Husband goes on vacation with mom and leaves two kids at home…’

UPDATE: I didn’t realize this post would get so many responses. Here are some answers to questions I’ve seen. 1. I mentioned the higher earner because I was trying to reiterate that I have an extremely stressful job and there’s pressure surrounding performing well at work due to being the higher earner and needing the income..

2. I’ve seen his mom on FT multiple times 3. I mentioned sharing the bed because of choosing to do so just to get a better view. It’s important to note that they already had an ocean view.. 4. The trip was split down the middle. He does work and contribute to our finances.

5. I wrote this post because I genuinely just wanted to see what the feedback would be. I know my friends and family will always side with me. 6. My mental health issues have been pretty significant the last couple months. I mentioned that because I think that should have been enough to put me first and not go.

7. Sorry that I upset so many people by this post! This is the first time I’ve ever posted on here and likely the last! Am I wrong for being upset? My husband is on a full week long vacation with his Mom on a tropical island- known for honeymooning.

I am at home with a two year old and a four year old with a very high stress job. I am currently the higher earner in the family by a lot. His response when I told him I didn’t want him to go on the trip was that I could come too. Who is going to take care of our children? His answer was my parents as if it’s that simple.

They already watch them every day while we are at work so it would be a lot to ask. I’m currently going through a lot with my mental health and started seeing a therapist. This has added to the reasons why it’s a very challenging time for him to up and go on a vacation.

Being in survival mode while your significant other is on vacation is not easy. The first night of the vacation my son was FaceTiming his dad to say goodnight. He asked for a tour of the hotel room. As he’s showing the room I notice there is one king bed.

He said they were told they could get an upgrade with a better view but it was a king bed instead of two doubles. I immediately was so bothered. It already feels like they are on a honeymoon and now they are sharing a bed? I need advice to know if I’m crazy for being upset or is this unhealthy behavior?

This husband’s tropical escape with his mom while his wife drowns in stress is a marital misstep that screams miscommunication. The OP’s feelings of abandonment are valid, especially given her mental health struggles and primary breadwinner role. The shared bed detail, while eyebrow-raising, might be less about impropriety and more about poor judgment, but it fuels her sense of betrayal.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, which I call ‘sliding door’ moments” (source: Gottman Institute). Here, the husband’s choice to prioritize his vacation over his wife’s needs slammed that door shut. His dismissal of her concerns—suggesting her parents handle the kids—shows a lack of empathy, deepening the rift.

This situation reflects broader issues of emotional labor imbalance, particularly for working mothers. A 2021 Pew Research study found 60% of mothers feel overwhelmed by household and parenting duties compared to 39% of fathers (source: Pew Research). The OP’s burnout is a textbook case, exacerbated by her husband’s absence.

For solutions, open communication is key. The OP should express her feelings using “I” statements, like “I feel overwhelmed when left alone with the kids.” Couples therapy could help them renegotiate responsibilities. She might also consider a short break for self-care, as suggested by Reddit, to recharge.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit community unleashed a wave of reactions, blending fiery indignation with practical advice and a dash of humor. Many slammed the husband’s decision to vacation with his mom as a betrayal, especially given the OP’s mental health struggles and primary breadwinner role, with some urging divorce or a Politicians were quick to label it “abandonment.” Others suggested the OP take a solo getaway to reclaim her sanity.

CakeZealousideal1820 − Tell him make sure when he gets back he stays with his mother. You're the breadwinner and main caretaker for the children why are you married to him?

CnslrNachos − I mean, sharing a bed with his mom may be totally weird or not at all, but abandoning you to go on a week long vacation without you all seems like an instant divorce from me! Seriously wtf??? I don’t even go to the grocery store solo anymore.

I grab a kid and throw them in the car with me so that my wife isn’t stuck solo parenting with two while I’m trying to figure out where the milk we like is.  A whole GD week??? And your MIL thinks it okay for him to abandon you like this??? Runnnnnn

Substantial-Spare501 − Talk to a lawyer and a therapist.

Sea-Ad9057 − Time to do the same thing leave him take care of the kids for a week make sure she isn't available to help him. Nta

Suziannie − Was his Mom visible on the FaceTime call? I’d be thinking he’s not with his Mom is she wasn’t visible on that call.

Signal-Ad2674 − I hate to point out the obvious, but he is not your significant other. He is your insignificant other. He’s absconded his duty of care to the family and not recognised his obligations to your health or kids well being.

I’d be seeking more than validation this trip is wrong. Its an incident in a broken relationship where the power dynamic sits with him, but accountability sits with you for earning, welfare and housekeeping.. You’re a voluntary slave. Just leave.

LittlestEcho − Like, I'm all for a parent to go away for a weekend where theyre not mom/ dad or honey. My mom used to go on those once or twice a year as did my dad. Mom went for a weekend or two someplace fun with a friend. Dad went up to our Cabin to hunt with his dad.

Sometimes folks need to have independence and not in their permanent roles as spouse and parent. However. Yeah. The sharing a bed thing isnt that big a deal to me unless hes shown emotional i**est with his mom or enmeshment in the past.

What bothers me is that you clearly *need* a vacation. It's not a matter of

For your mental health, you need to call in sick. Just for a few days. Take the kids to your parents as usual, go home and rest. You may not be able to take a vacation right this second, but you need to implement a tiny bit of self care. Don't clean the house. Dont do any chores.

Go to bed and sleep for a few extra hours. Soak in a bath. Watch your shows and just mentally recharge. Pick up the kids. Then Keep them home for a few days from your parents so they're getting a break too. Plan fun activities. You can clean once they're in bed for the night.

Dont gotta be for the whole week. Just 3 or 4 days. Then plan a OP cation. No husband. No kids. Just a weekend away doing whatever the f**k you want. You can plan a family vacation later if need be. Just go exist.

Pleasant-Koala147 − Call a lawyer now and have the divorce papers ready for him when he comes back. He’s clearly in an emotionally incestuous (at the very least) relationship with his mother and you and your children will never be more important.

Cut the cord now before he drags yourself and your children through years of hurt.. Also, please tell me your higher earning job isn’t paying for his romantic getaway with his mother.

Dear_Parsnip_6802 − Start planning for your week away alone to have a well deserved break. He can watch the kids for a week.

Successful_Chain1728 − NTA. I would start seriously looking into getting an attorney. It is clear that he was going to abandon you with the kids and has no regard for the stress you are in as the majority bread winner.

The fact that he went to a honeymoon spot and was now sharing a bed is icky and strange, there is something that is off about that. Please just take your kids and run, i know it will be hard but at least you will not have to wonder about your husband and MIL

This Reddit saga leaves us pondering the delicate dance of marriage, family ties, and personal needs. The OP’s hurt underscores a universal truth: relationships thrive on mutual support, not tropical escapes that leave one partner in the lurch.

What would you do if you were juggling kids and stress while your spouse vacationed without a care? Share your thoughts, experiences, or advice below—let’s keep this conversation going!

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