How do I (28F) not hold a grudge against my in-laws (67M & 61F) for selling the house we rent from them while 8 months pregnant?

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In a quiet rural doublewide, where new flooring gleams from a pregnant couple’s labor of love, a bombshell landed heavier than the summer heat. Just weeks from welcoming their first child, the 28-year-old woman and her medical-student husband learned their in-laws are selling the home they’ve rented at a bargain for years. With a $700,000 deal sealed and a 90-day move-out notice looming, the timing feels like a betrayal, piling stress onto an already full plate.

This Reddit tale weaves a tapestry of family ties, financial choices, and emotional grit. It’s not just about a house sale—it’s about navigating love and loyalty when trust wobbles. As the woman fights to keep resentment at bay, her story draws readers into a heartfelt struggle to find grace amid chaos.

‘How do I (28F) not hold a grudge against my in-laws (67M & 61F) for selling the house we rent from them while 8 months pregnant?’

Because of the state of the home, and because my husband is in medical school, we've been extremely fortunate to be charged very low rent for this home. The first year we paid $400 a month in rent while I worked on home-improvements (ripping out blue carpet, installing new flooring, putting in sprinkler systems, building a deck, tiling/redoing kitchen cabinets and countertops).

We agreed to raise the rent to $500 in 2022 because they had to replace the air-conditioning unit after it died. We've made many improvements to this home, in-part because we could afford to due to the low rent. As a side-note: My income fully supports our family while my husband is in medical school.

He takes out student loans for his tuition and gas money, and I pay for our car-insurance, car loans, rent, groceries, etc. My husband is currently finishing up his third year of medical school and will be taking his COMLEX Level 2 this July. We will be relocating summer of 2025 to whatever residency program he's accepted into.

Because we will most likely be moving states away from family in 2025, we decided that we wanted to try for a kid while being local to our familial support. This will be the first grandchild for both sides of our families. She's due at the end of May.

Situation: My FIL recently found a buyer who was interested in the property we live on (16 acres, 80s double-wide and mother-in-law suite) who has accepted his price of 700K. We were told yesterday that they will be working on writing up a contract in the next week.

Per our states laws, we have a 90-days from written notice to move. My husband and I are planning to relocate to my hometown two hours away from our current location so that I can spend quality time with my dad and siblings and have the support of my friend group before we move for residency.

However, I can't help but feel really upset about this whole situation and am having a hard time wanting to continue a relationship with my in-laws. I don't want to feel entitled--especially because we've been the beneficiaries of extremely low-rent over the past few years, regardless of the effort we've put into improving this house.

I don't think I would feel as personally affronted if this was a normal landlord/tenant relationship. Instead, I feel like my in-laws are choosing profit over a good relationship with my husband, myself, and our child. We've been extremely vocal about our timeline and quite frankly, the stress of 1) giving birth and becoming a new mom 2) having to move and

3) my husband's Level 2 exam all happening within the same 3 months is extremely overwhelming. I don't want to be petty or vindictive, but I'm having such a hard time not reacting emotionally.. How do I deal with this situation with grace, without harming a relationship with my in-laws?

This home-sale saga reveals a clash of priorities cloaked in family ties. The woman, juggling pregnancy and financial burdens, feels blindsided by her in-laws’ decision to sell, seeing it as profit over kinship.

The in-laws, seizing a lucrative offer, likely view it as a pragmatic move, especially after subsidizing low rent. The lack of early communication stings most, fraying trust at a vulnerable time.

Family financial dynamics often spark tension. Research shows over 50% of families face conflicts over money-related decisions, particularly when expectations differ. The in-laws’ choice, while legally sound, overlooked the couple’s immediate needs, amplifying stress.

Family therapist Dr. Virginia Satir once noted, “Clear communication strengthens family bonds.” The woman could express her hurt calmly, perhaps saying, “We felt caught off guard and need more open dialogue.” Moving forward, setting boundaries and focusing on her growing family’s needs will help. Grace comes from acknowledging their past support while prioritizing her peace.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s take on this drama blends empathy with tough love. The community validates the woman’s frustration, calling the in-laws’ timing insensitive, especially given her pregnancy and her husband’s exams.

Many fault the lack of warning, seeing it as a breach of family trust. Others urge perspective, noting the in-laws’ financial constraints and the couple’s low-rent benefits, suggesting distance and time will ease the sting.

Rosemarysage5 − This is a learning experience. If you find yourself receiving something very cheap, realize that there’s always a cost. Not having a lease means that this could have happened at any time. You should have insisted on a written lease with them AND you should have saved all of your extra money instead of spending it to renovate a place you didn’t own.

Not only have you learned that you have to put yourselves first, you’ve also learned who your in laws are. Don’t hold a grudge, but also don’t allow them to be intimately involved with your life plans, your housing or your future. Never put your fate into someone else’s hands.

mayisatt − Some people really win the lottery with parents and inlaws. Sometimes it’s a whole lot of grey. My in-laws helped us out; gave us a (small) downpayment for a dumpy duplex that we all lived in while my husband fixed it up. That turned into us covering *every* expense other than groceries and gas.

Until it ended when we moved! It might have been fine if any interest was shown into our young family at the time (reciprocity?) but there was absolutely none. I had a really hard time not being bitter. Now, it’s been a few years of distance. I agree with others in that you just treat them as warm strangers.

I send pictures. I nod and smile when my MiL says ‘of course if I were closer I’d take the kids’ because that is a blatant lie/lip service (as my lived experience showed) but she is still my husbands mother.. Some people are just selfish and ignorant, and will always be that way.

You know what to expect now. I would say be grateful for the leg up they gave you 2 (I know I am!) and then temper that with the knowledge of how much investment they are actually willing to put into you 2. For a lot of parents it’s just the participation ribbon of “but I did this for you!” and then they ride that into the sunset.. Good luck to you.

Unsolicitedadvice13 − Just give it time. It’s fresh and you’re currently going through it and you begrudge them for knowing your plans but not considering the plans, that’s understandable.

It would be entitled to *demand* to not sell the house but your gut reaction is reasonable. Just focus on you, your husband, and baby right now, and in time you might come to feel it was all for the best to give you more time with your family and friends

BitterYetHopeful − While I am sympathetic for how you are feeling given your life circumstances and the apparent lack of communication from your in-laws, which really was kind of crappy if they didn’t give you a heads up before putting it on the market…. To answer your question:

Take this as a learning experience. You decided to make home improvements on your own, so you cannot hold them accountable for that loss. I do get wanting to make your living space a bit nicer and less run down. Look at it as you having gained lots of DIY experience for your next permanent home!

It is super helpful to be able to gain home maintenance and improvement experience as a future homeowner. And as a bonus, you had a bit nicer environment to live in while you lived there!. As for your in-laws:

Also focus on the positive until your feelings have settled a little. You already see the positives - they helped you and your husband out in a time that you really needed it most. That is super low rent.

Focus on this and walk away a wiser, thankful person instead of letting this grudge take over! Wishing you and your little family all the best! Though life may be chaotic for the next few months, it will eventually settle down and you will have come out stronger!

AdChemical1663 − Timing sucks, but everything lined up for your in-laws. Can they even afford to pass on this offer if they’ve been subsidizing your rent?  Upping the rent on their own kid because of the AC install indicates to me they can’t. 

moontiara16 − I think you’re looking at this all wrong. You paid ~$16,800 in rent over 3 years plus sweat equity which let’s say you value at $20K. In total, you paid ~$37K. I rented a 1br/1ba just outside a small city (population 250K) for 3 years which cost $48K, excluding any utilities like electricity, gas, and internet (probably another $7K).

In my mind, while this is poor timing for you, you’ve made out pretty great in the end! Moreover, their finances are important. How are they going to pay for their retirement? If they can’t, who will cover those expenses? If they waited to sell for your convenience, would you have been able to make up the price difference?

Maybe you and husband will be given some of this money as an inheritance. Heck, maybe some of the money will go into a fund for your child! Take the W for money saved the last few years and spend your energy being excited about your forthcoming baby. Congratulations!

ETA: I was curious about the estimated costs when I lived in a 1br/1ba in Chicago years ago. 3 years of rent and utilities there cost me ~$72K! My relatives paid ~$58K for a duplex rental in a southern Maine suburb but did all the yard maintenance. All that in mind, you still made out like a bandit cost wise.

Friendly_Shelter_625 − I think your feelings are valid. Yes, it’s their right to sell, blah, blah, blah, but they are family and it seems like there could have been more of a warning or discussion. They could have even talked to the buying about him maybe renting to you for a year, depending on what he wants the property for.

However, if the buyer approached them and the offer was good you can’t really fault them for that. I wouldn’t end the relationship over this. It wasn’t a kind thing for them to do but you have to look at it within the scope of the entire relationship. Also, moving two hours a way is already going to limit your interactions with them, so just be thankful for that.

I wouldn’t go out of my way to visit them. Traveling with a baby is hard. Let them come to you and if they don’t, they don’t. Who knows where the residency will put you. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of this. Just live your life and you might end up lower contact due to distance anyway. No need to stir the pot.

Sensitive_Ad6774 − He was offered doubled it's worth. You were moving anyway. Careful how you act. That could be money for you guys to buy your own house where you're moving.

Choice-Intention-926 − How are they not blindsiding them when everything’s a done deal. They knew when they put it on the market that they wanted to sell they could have told them at that time but they didn’t.

They waited until the property was already sold because they wanted to benefit financially from them while they had the property on the market. What they’ve done (the in-laws) is really s**tty. Especially when she’s pregnant! And their son has medical exams! This isn’t the time for added stress.

cassowary32 − $6,000 vs. $700,000. I'm sorry, but I'd boot my mom for that... I would maybe throw some cash her way for the inconvenience but mama, you've got to move. $700,000 at a 5% interest rate gets them $35,000/year.

Heck, I would be upset if my mom passed on $700,000 because I would have to move 6 months ahead of schedule. It's really destabilizing right now, I'm sorry, but given how crazy the real estate market has been, your inlaws probably agonized about the decision.

This tale of a sold home and strained bonds leaves us reflecting on family, forgiveness, and life’s curveballs. The woman’s struggle to let go of resentment underscores a truth: relationships thrive on empathy and honesty, not just shared blood.

Her in-laws’ choice, while practical, shook her trust, but grace may pave the way forward. Share your thoughts below—have you faced a family decision that tested your heart?

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