He (42m) is so jealous of our kids and it’s starting to scare me (35f). Is this family and marriage even savable?

In a cozy nursery bathed in soft morning light, a mother holds her six-month-old triplets, their tiny hands clutching her warmth. But the joy of new motherhood is overshadowed by a chilling tension—her husband’s growing jealousy. For the 35-year-old, what should have been a time of family bonding has become a nightmare of doubt and fear, as her 42-year-old husband competes with his own children for her attention, leaving her questioning their future.

After years of longing and expensive fertility treatments, the couple’s dream of parenthood has come true. But her husband’s irritability, aloofness, and flirtatious text messages to another woman have turned their home into a battlefield. His refusal to communicate with their children or consider counseling only added to her fear. Readers are left feeling exhausted and heartbroken, wondering whether the marriage can—or should—be saved.

‘He (42m) is so jealous of our kids and it’s starting to scare me (35f). Is this family and marriage even savable?’

The breakdown of this family reveals a troubling dynamic. “Jealousy of your own child is a warning sign of deeper emotional issues,” says renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. His research highlights how unresolved insecurities can manifest as resentment, especially during major life transitions like parenthood.

The husband’s behavior—competitiveness with the infant, rejection of counseling, and flirting outside the marriage—suggests a struggle with emotional regulation and entitlement. From the wife’s perspective, she is juggling three children while dealing with his negativity, a dynamic that creates isolation. His jealousy about breastfeeding and complaints about family life point to a narcissistic tendency, where his needs overshadow those of the family.

This situation reflects a broader problem: parental adjustment disorder. According to a 2021 study in Frontiers in Psychiatry (frontiersin.org), 10-15% of new parents face significant emotional challenges, which sometimes escalate into harmful behaviors if left untreated. Here, the husband’s aloofness risks emotionally neglecting the children, while his flirtations hint at further infidelity.

“Healthy relationships require mutual sacrifice and communication,” Dr. Gottman advises. For the wife, individual therapy can clarify her options, provide strategies for setting boundaries, or plan an exit. Women’s shelters or legal aid (like TheHotline.org) can provide practical support for leaving safely.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s response has been a spicy mix of empathy and outrage—think of it as a lively virtual coffee shop with heated opinions. Here’s what the community said:

These comments are heartfelt and candid, but do they reflect the whole picture? Or are they just Reddit’s signature mix of drama and tough love?

This mother’s story is a punch in the gut, highlighting the fragility of families when jealousy goes unchecked. Her courage in sharing her fears invites us to reflect on love, parenthood, and self-esteem. Can this marriage be saved, or is her priority to protect her three children and herself? What would you do if you were caught in this emotional storm? Share your thoughts—your perspective may light the way for others.