Friend Constantly Bails on Craft Night for Her Boyfriend, Then Has the Nerve to Get Mad When OP Doesn’t Wait Around

One woman’s cozy craft night plans were shattered by a friend’s recurring flakiness, only to find the betrayal went deeper than just a canceled date. She expected a relaxing evening, but instead, she found herself constantly left holding the bag of supplies while her friend prioritized a romantic partner. Curious how it all unfolded? Read on for the full story.

Friend Constantly Bails on Craft Night for Her Boyfriend, Then Has the Nerve to Get Mad When OP Doesn't Wait Around

AITA for having a craft night with my bf after my friend bailed?

This establishes a clear pattern of behavior where the OP’s desire for one-on-one connection is consistently sidelined by the friend’s relationship dynamics.

My best friend and I have known each other for 3 years.

About a year ago she met her boyfriend, and pretty much since then, she will blow me off at every opportunity to spend time with him.

If we have plans together, she will ask if her boyfriend can come, turn it into a couples thing by also inviting my boyfriend, or (most often) just show up...

It drives me crazy.

Her boyfriend and my boyfriend were actually friends before we all met, so we do hang out in group settings a lot, but sometimes you just want some girl time.

On the rare occasions she does hang out alone with me, she texts her boyfriend constantly, and if she’s not texting about him, she is talking about him constantly.

I gave her grace when they first started dating because I’m aware of how much a new relationship changes your priorities.

However, now they are a year in and nothing has changed.

The discovery of the lie transforms a simple annoyance into a blatant disrespect of the OP’s time and resources.

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They live in the same apartment, work together, and when they are not together, they are on the phone with each other.

All of this to say, they spend pretty much 24/7 together.

I try to hang out with her one-on-one once every few weeks or so.

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A few months ago, I asked if she wanted to have a craft night at my apartment; I would get some wine and some activity for us to do.

She said yes.

We set a date and time.

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The day of, I went to the store, got the wine, got the craft stuff, and I’m headed home and I get a text from her that says she doesn’t...

Bad timing on her part, but oh well, what can I do about it? So instead of just sitting alone drinking a bottle of wine, I do the craft I...

My boyfriend talks to her boyfriend that night and checks up on my friend, and her boyfriend actually tells us she is fine and they are just watching a movie.

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A month after that, she goes out of her way to ask me if we can have a craft night since she missed the last one.

I say yes, of course.

We set a date and time.

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The day of, I go to the store, buy a bottle of wine, buy some craft stuff, head home, get all set up, and 20 minutes before it’s crafting time…...

This time her back just hurts too bad to go.

Well, she must not be telling her boyfriend her lies because he tells my boyfriend they are actually going out that night! So me and my boyfriend do a second...

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A week ago she asks if I want to do another craft night.

And I tell her I really don’t want to go and get all the stuff just for her to bail on me again.

And she says it shouldn’t even matter because I do the crafts with my boyfriend so it’s not a waste of money.

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I tried to explain to her that it is more of a respect thing than anything, and if I knew I didn’t want to hang out the day of, I...

She tried to say I was in the wrong for doing all the crafts with my boyfriend instead of trying to reschedule with her.

I then explained that it is almost impossible to do anything with her without her bailing to hang with her boyfriend.

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AITA?

This recurring cycle of broken plans illustrates a breakdown in social etiquette that can erode even the most resilient friendship. When a friend repeatedly cancels for flimsy reasons and then gaslights the other person for finding a way to salvage their evening, it signals a significant imbalance in emotional investment.

Failing to honor existing commitments is a major sign of disrespect, as it signals that one person’s time and effort are not valued. Engaging in healthy friendship boundaries is essential here; the OP is not responsible for the friend’s inability to manage her schedule or her honesty. To move forward, the OP should stop fronting the financial costs of these hangouts. Suggesting that the friend plans and provides the supplies for the next outing shifts the accountability back to her. If she is unwilling to put in the effort, it provides the answer the OP needs regarding the future of this connection.

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Community Opinions

Reddit was firmly in OP’s corner, viewing the friend’s behavior as a clear case of someone treating a long-term friendship as a disposable convenience.

u/Ninja_Squirrel_Army Next time she suggests a craft night, tell her that she can buy the wine and the crafting supplies. Why are you the one fronting all the money in...

u/DasBoomer NTA At this point whether she's aware of it or not, this girl is just making plans with you so she can feel socially powerful. She gets a high...

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u/ScopeIsDope Nta - she's not a friend, you are a convenience to her. Drop her and enjoy the peace. She's not interested in respecting your time, money or feelings. 

u/Tenzipper Sounds like the friendship between the two of you has reached the end of its natural life. You can still go out as couples, just don't expect to have...

u/pankoforever NTA - she sounds like she doesn't value your friendship and no one should think it's ok to justify things by saying they're not putting you out of pocket...

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u/WrapInternational803 NTA Tell her you'll be happy to attend when she hosts

u/According_Pizza8484 Nta. I had a falling out with a friend over something similar. Its not just about the crafts and the money you spent. Its about her disrespecting your time....

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u/Korrin Title should be AITA for not letting my friend use me as a doormat. Obviously NTA. She cannot be expecting you to save the stuff to reschedule when you...

u/New_Cheesecake9719 Nta but why haven’t you called her out on the lies and blowing off?

u/Maud_Dweeb18 She bails and she is in the wrong. I wouldn't reschedule for a while. Why are you in charge of getting and paying for craft and wine stuff? If...

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u/HoldFastO2 NTA, but this conversation probably should've happened a while ago. She makes plans with you, plans that don't just occupy your time, they actively cost you money. Then she...

u/HuntAccurate9397 NTA, you don’t make someone that treats you like an option a priority. I think it’s time to cut her loose.

u/clkinsyd NTA- i would be along myself if this is a friend i want to keep. After being treated that way multiple times, I would take a step back and...

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u/rainbow-wallfish NTA. Your "friend" is very rude to keep cancelling at the last minute. I don't blame you for not wanting to make plans with her any more.

u/regboy5101 This person sounds absolutely insufferable. I would literally make zero time for her until she plans a hang out with you and actually follows through on it. Until then,...

Many commenters suggested that the friendship might have simply run its natural course and that OP should stop trying to force a connection.

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It is clear that the frustration here stems less from the crafts themselves and more from a fundamental lack of respect. While the friend may believe her actions are harmless because the OP still enjoyed her night, she is missing the point regarding the value of a friend’s time and effort.

Both parties seem to be at an impasse regarding what constitutes a healthy, balanced relationship. Do you think the friend is just young and oblivious, or is this a deliberate power play? And if you were OP, would you give her one last chance to host, or is it time to walk away? Share your hot take below!

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