Friend (40F) asked for a family photoshoot and did not pay, did not even say thanks. Her birthday is coming up – can I (42F) gift her the photoshoot?
Late one evening, a 42-year-old woman sat quietly, replaying the family photoshoot she’d arranged for her friend. Her partner, a skilled photographer, had spent two hours capturing perfect moments in a field of blooming flowers, even editing the photos afterward—work worth $350. But her friend didn’t pay or even say thank you, leaving her feeling hurt and undervalued. With the friend’s birthday approaching, she’s torn about whether to “gift” the photoshoot or set a firm boundary.
The silence stings more than she expected, especially since she’s already pitching in for the birthday cake and meal. Her Reddit post reveals the quiet pain of giving generously only to be overlooked, a feeling many know too well. As she weighs her next move, her story pulls us into the delicate balance of friendship and respect. What do you do when a friend takes your kindness for granted?
‘Friend (40F) asked for a family photoshoot and did not pay, did not even say thanks. Her birthday is coming up – can I (42F) gift her the photoshoot?’
When a friend accepts a $350 photoshoot without a thank-you, it’s more than a faux pas—it’s a breach of mutual respect. This woman and her partner went above and beyond, scouting a flower-filled location and editing photos, only to be met with silence. Her impulse to “gift” the shoot for her friend’s birthday feels like a bid to salvage the friendship, but the friend’s lack of gratitude suggests an uneven dynamic.
This scenario highlights a common issue: blurred boundaries in friendships involving professional services. A 2021 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that unreciprocated favors can erode trust in friendships (soucre). Here, the friend’s failure to acknowledge the effort, especially after past free shoots, signals entitlement.
Relationship expert Dr. Irene Levine notes, “Healthy friendships require reciprocity, especially when professional skills are involved” (soucre). For our Redditor, this means resetting expectations. The friend’s husband, a contractor, didn’t offer discounts, so why should the photographer work for free?
Advice: Don’t gift the photoshoot—it risks reinforcing the pattern. Instead, have a candid talk with your friend about the oversight, framing it as a need for mutual respect. For future requests, set clear prices upfront, as the Redditor plans.
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit swooped in like a squad of no-nonsense besties, serving up advice with a side of sass. Here’s what the community had to say, raw and ready.
These Reddit takes range from petty gift ideas to calls for cutting ties, but do they miss the emotional weight of the friendship? Is a framed photo the perfect jab, or a step too far?
This photoshoot fiasco left our Redditor feeling used, her generosity met with a shrug instead of a thank-you. By choosing a small birthday gift over “gifting” the shoot, she’s drawing a line to protect her and her partner’s worth. Her story reminds us how quickly favors can strain friendships when respect isn’t mutual. Would you confront a friend who took your work for free, or let it slide? Share your thoughts—have you ever felt unappreciated for a favor, and how did you handle it?
