Found Out My (33f) Fiancé (31m) Used to Sleep with Married Women in His 20s, and His Justification Has Me Questioning Everything. How do I approach this?
In the quiet hum of a candlelit dinner, a woman’s heart sinks as her fiancé’s charming smile hides a bombshell. He’s the man who’s always known exactly what she needs—until she learns he honed those skills in the beds of married women. His casual confession, delivered with a shrug and a smirk, paints a past of affairs he claims made him the “perfect” partner. Now, her engagement ring feels like a question mark, glinting with doubt under the soft glow of their shared dreams.
This unsettling revelation pulls readers into a whirlwind of emotions—shock, betrayal, and the nagging question of whether love can outshine a tarnished past. Can she trust the man who sees no wrong in his role as the other guy? The drama unfolds like a soap opera, begging us to weigh character against change.
‘Found Out My (33f) Fiancé (31m) Used to Sleep with Married Women in His 20s, and His Justification Has Me Questioning Everything. How do I approach this?’
A fiancé’s nonchalant admission of past affairs with married women is a red flag waving in the wind. His lack of remorse and belief that he was merely “giving them what they wanted” suggest a shaky moral compass. Dr. Stan Tatkin, a couples therapist, emphasizes, “A partner’s inability to own past wrongs signals trouble for future accountability” (PsychCentral). The fiancé’s pride in his “education” from cheating wives reeks of self-justification, not growth.
This reflects broader issues of integrity in relationships. A 2023 study from the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 68% of couples view a partner’s past disregard for commitment as a predictor of future infidelity (Wiley Online Library). His claim that “90% of married women” would cheat dismisses fidelity, potentially undermining trust in his own marriage.
Tatkin’s work stresses that true change requires humility and regret, qualities the fiancé lacks. His framing of affairs as a service, not a sin, suggests he might repeat risky behavior if the relationship sours. The fiancée’s gut instinct is a warning worth heeding—her unease stems from his current attitude, not just his past.
For solutions, she should express how his cavalier attitude shakes her trust, using “I feel” statements to avoid defensiveness. Couples counseling could unpack his views on fidelity (Talkspace). If he dismisses her concerns, it’s time to reconsider the engagement.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Reddit’s crew didn’t mince words, serving up a buffet of outrage, sarcasm, and hard truths. Here’s a taste of their fiery takes, with a sprinkle of humor to keep things spicy—because nothing says drama like a morally gray fiancé!
These Reddit roasts are piping hot, but do they nail the truth or just fan the flames? Is this guy a reformed romantic or a walking red flag?
This jaw-dropping confession leaves us questioning whether love can rewrite a troubling past. The fiancée faces a fork in the road: believe in her fiancé’s change or heed the warning signs of his remorseless history. Can she build a future with someone who once thrived on others’ broken vows? What would you do if your partner’s past clashed with your values? Drop your advice, stories, or hot takes below—let’s dive into this mess together!
