For plotting revenge when my wife told me she just slept with her friends?

Tiana Garrett Hours
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What would you do if your spouse returned from a short trip and casually suggested opening your marriage—only to reveal they already had? A trusting husband faced this exact scenario after his wife helped friends relocate.

She confessed to nightly encounters with the couple during her stay. The revelation left him reeling in sadness and anger, contemplating revenge while questioning the future of their once-solid bond.

‘For plotting revenge when my wife told me she just slept with her friends?’

My wife just got back from a trip helping her friends move back to town. I’ve always trusted her, and thought nothing of it. Her friends are in an open...

When she came home, she led with wanting to know if I wanted to open up our marriage. I told her initially when we got together that I wanted her...

I wasn’t ever going to be interested in an open relationship. I ask her if something happened, and it did. She ended up sleeping with the couple, every f__king night.

So now I lay her next to her, trying to come up with ways to exact revenge. I guess I could just leave, but … f__k I’m sad.

Betrayal struck when the wife acted on open relationship ideas without consent. She knew his monogamy stance yet proceeded, then sought retroactive permission. Pain fuels revenge fantasies, but separation looms as the core issue.

He processes grief and lost trust. She may justify actions via friends’ influence or unmet needs. Direct communication vanished, leaving assumptions and hurt.Marriage therapist Dr. Esther Perel stated that “The victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage” (State of Affairs, 2017). Here, infidelity exposed deeper incompatibilities, demanding accountability over excuses.

Consult a lawyer immediately for asset protection. Document confessions via text for clarity. Seek individual therapy to grieve without rash acts. Channel energy into fitness or hobbies for personal rebuilding.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Social media exploded with advice for this gut-wrenching confession, uniting on divorce while rejecting revenge plots. Users urged calm exits and self-preservation.

Overwhelming calls pushed for swift, lawyer-led separation.

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Witch-kingOfBrynMawr − When betrayal is fresh, it's fun to consider revenge, but it's really just a distraction from the pain. The best thing you can do now, for yourself and...

If she becomes emotional and asks why you're choosing this, you should remain perplexed. "I was under the impression that when you told me you had multiple threesomes with your...

It hurts that you chose that particular method of letting me know it's over, but I've received the message: you want out.I mean, the other case is that you think...

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Anywho, you've got my attorney's number. Good luck being Dave and Sally's unicorn, though, I hope it works out for you! Be safe out there! "

Power_and_Science − Best revenge is to end the relationship, just walk out, communicate via attorney, and proceed with divorce. She totally disrespected your relationship. She knew you were monogamous, then...

Then came back and asked if she could cheat with your permission (open marriage), then admitted she had already cheated for several consecutive days (opened the marriage without your permission).

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I doubt it just came out of the blue like that. It was likely planned a while ago, and she didn’t tell you before it happened because she knew you...

Sounds like (now that the friends have moved into town) this cheating will continue no matter what you say or want, so let her continue it without you in the...

bucketsofpoo − leave and never look back f__k that s__t she broke the absolute trust of marriage dont even talk to her. see a lawyer. serve her. all communication through...

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Thisisthenextone − What to do: - don't warn her - talk to a lawyer - don't sleep with her anymore - don't warn the "friends" - get STD tested -...

(as in text her that you're still upset about her cheating on you with her friends for several nights in a row and not telling you until after you two...

Text her asking if she's done a test yet) - follow exactly what the lawyer says to do Your best revenge is being successful while she will be their f__k...

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RudeRedDogOne − DO NOT have s__ with the cheating cunt OP. You have no way of knowing if she picked up something.

Go to a lawyer, get a divorce started, and if infidelity is a reason for divorce in your state, get her to verify this with a recording, if legally allowable...

and have some friend record it from a distance-ish, but since it is in public there is no real expectation of privacy. Then do what it takes to f__k her...

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I hope she gets an incurable affliction, as she deserves no less. Also, do not sleep next to her anymore, as she has forfeited the rights to being treated &...

Ryumen − Okay, rules: 1: DON'T SLEEP WITH THE HO! !!!! 2: Get a really good lawyer who specializes in this style of divorce. 3: Get everything you can of...

4: Play it like everything is cool, till you can serve the divorce papers. 5: After serving her tell everyone she knows what she did, especially her parents. Depending on...

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6: After she's been served you CAN NOT be alone with her, EVER! 7: Pull money out of joint account, try and do it when you have a friend serve...

10: If you really want to get her back, go buy a cheap car and register it in her name and park it at an airport parking lot where you...

itsminimes − She cheated. Asking for an open marriage after she cheated and knowing from the start you are against it was BS. Kick her cheating ass out of the...

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omrmajeed − Leaving her and succeeding without her is the BIGGEST revenge you could have on her. Do not delay. Go to your lawyer, start divorce paperwork NOW.

Some addressed military angles or emotional recovery.

RedditAppSoBad − Yeah so it was a rough night, sorry for not replying. Obviously I just gave up writing half way through. I’m not really out for revenge, I just...

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My mind is a bit clearer this morning. I can’t be with her anymore. My plan was to show her my pain and hope she realized that that pain wasn’t...

She’s beautiful and I’m not. I have to not care. It’s hard. I have a long road to walk. Thank you for the comments, the harsh ones and the funny...

Lower-Tank-9742 − That escalated rather quickly, how did she think that was alright to do. And then come home like it was nothing, and ask for an open marriage. What...

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HeuristicVigil − If this is real, sorry you have to deal with that. Don’t listen to everyone telling you that Article 134 is impossible to prove or that their command...

Anything is possible, but as an officer who has successfully investigated a__ltery before, you will absolutely cause appropriate and well-earned issues for the the couple. Folks in the military are...

There are bad apples everywhere and being military doesn’t make you better than anyone else, however, we are uniquely equipped to deal with certain issues because we recognize that having...

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That being said, if you know the branch of service that the couple is in, I recommend you file an Inspector General complaint, and I recommend you do not ask...

Request to be contacted. Just google their branch of service and then “IG complaint”. Example: “Army IG complaint. ” Put as much detail as possible.

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This will automatically trigger an investigation, as required by federal law, and their command will at least know what garbage humans you are dealing with, as an officer in their...

All evidence you can collect will be helpful, and as another commenter remarked, photographic evidence is the best. I don’t want you to have to wade through more pain, but...

or even took pictures, you would be able to have them dishonorably discharged or at the very least administratively separated, no retirement, no benefits.

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In my opinion as a military officer with a decade of experience, including billets as a commanding officer and executive officer, you should absolutely, 100%, file an IG complaint.

You may not get the slam dunk outcome, but I don’t want people like your wife’s “friends” on my team and would do everything in my power to remove them....

PM me their names and branch of service, as well as any other details you feel comfortable sharing and I will happily file on your behalf or, if it is...

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A few kept it light or direct.

Relevant_Demand7593 − NTA, I’d be shattered too! You could sleep with the couple too! But seriously I’d see a lawyer and find out what your options are. Make sure you...

Highupp2 − You're clearly not into open relationships, I don't understand why are you torturing yourself and staying? Leave, you'll do good for you and let her do whatever she...

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[Reddit User] − She actually values her friends more than she values her commitment to you. That is something that will not change in her life. You will always be...

Necessary_Tap343 − NTA. The best revenge is to leave and let her find out for herself what it feels like to throw away your life for a few nights of...

This heartbreak proves boundaries stated early still get tested. Walking away cleanly honors self-respect over retaliation.

True closure comes from thriving alone. Would you confront the friends involved, or cut ties completely for peace? When trust dies overnight, how fast do you rebuild your life?

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